Terrified/Paranoid - Please Help Me

[Bryns]

Hi, this is my first post - it's difficult to put this into words, here goes. I'm a 34 year old male who just over a month ago woke up feeling a little strange. At first, I put it down to having a big night out with the boys two nights prior - so I went into the office as normal. As they day went on I knew these were not symptoms of a delayed hangover. I found myself (and still do) analysing EVERYTHING in my head, for example: 'would I normally sit like this?'/'would I normally type like this?'/'would my hands normally sit at my side like this?'/'would i normally itch my nose like that?'/'would I normally find that funny?'/'should I find that email stressful - would I normally find it stressful?' etc. Further to this I often feel almost outside of myself - like a looking glass I suppose. Conversations with people (even my own wife who I adore) have become difficult. I have always loved chatting with friends/family/co-workers and love good banter - this is now practically impossible. When I converse with people i can't enjoy the moment as I'm thinking: 'they are not going through the same thing - how must it feel for them to feel this way (normal)?'. This is not just when I'm communicating with others - whenever a person walks past me or I see someone on television I experience the same thing...ALL THE TIME. Subsequently it's not possible for me to enjoy books/television/movies - all things I would have previously counted as favourite pastimes. On that - I've always found enjoyment in many things: Friday night drinks and junk food with my wife, going to the footy with mates, cooking, hiking, long lunches with family friends - this 'problem' is making this increasingly difficult. I have always been a pretty anxious/stressed person (it's part of who I am and I don't want that to change) but never like this - it is running/ruining my life. I'm absolutely terrified this will be with me for the rest of my life - I'm really scared and I don't know what to do. Please help 🙂  Bryn

[Lori]

Hi Bryn, 

Firstly, Welcome to the Beyondblue forums and welldone for reaching out!!

I am sorry to hear about what you are experiencing at the moment, It sounds like Anxiety is affecting you at this point of time. All the things that you use to enjoy, you still can i know you said you just don't enjoy it but you shouldn't give up push yourself to keep doing them or invest in other options or things to do. Also have you thought about speaking to a health professional or your GP? see what their opinion is?  

You are definitely not going to be like this for the rest of your life, it might just take some time to get back to your normal self. Hearing that you are stressing out a bit at work i would suggest in looking into some relaxation skills you could try to keep your self calm or from panicking about work. 

What also will help is exercise, you said you enjoy hiking keep going! don't give that up, exercise is always great for these things it will help you in the long run trust me. The days you don't want to get up and do anything are the days you need to push yourself, don't let these emotions control you. 

See what you can do, goodluck i hope it all gets better soon. Keep in touch and stay strong!

- Lori 🙂

[Narniakid]

Hi Bryns and welcome to the forums, thank you for sharing with us!

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle, I agree with Lori - it sounds like you're experiencing anxiety. The fact that you've picked up on it and are able to recognise when an anxious thought occurs is great; that's the first step to recovery. Definitely take on some breathing techniques when you're feeling anxious - breathe in for 10 seconds, breathe out for 10 seconds. This will slow down your heart rate and will help your brain to relax. I also suggest using some Objective Questioning, I have some written down next to my desk to help me remember:

- Am I mistaking a thought for a fact?

- Is this is my control? What is in my control & can I use problem solving for this?

- Am I taking this too seriously?

- What is the most likely thing to happen?

- Am I listening to my inner critic?

- Am I taking responsibility for someone else's behaviour/feeling/thought?

- What would I say to a friend if they were thinking/feeling this way?

When you recognise your anxious thinking, put these questions into place. Hopefully they will help you put things into perspective and think a little more logically about the situation. I also suggest having a read of the information regarding anxiety here on the website under 'The facts' tab. Keep a diary of what happened each day and how you felt about it. This will help you focus on the present, and help to recognise any unhelpful thinking habits like catastrophising, ignoring positives and black and white thinking.

Crystal

Crystal

[gnark]

Being paranoid is new to me, reading your reply to another member relaxed me a bit...thankyou

[Bryns]

Thank you for replying Lori. My wife is of the same opinion and believes the problem is anxiety related. I'm going to schedule an appointment with my GP and see how it goes from there. Thanks again, Bryn.

[Bryns]

Hi Crystal. Thank you for replying - I will try some objective questioning strategies and see how I go. Bryn

[Lori]

Hi gnark, 

I am very happy to hear that one of my reply's has helped you relax 🙂

Always remember so many people care and are here for you, Hope everything is okay 🙂

- Lori

[Lori]

Hi Bryn, 

You are more than welcome, glad it was helpful for you 🙂

That is great news! Welldone you are doing the right thing, hopefully your GP can give you good recommendations and advice to help also.  

- Lori 🙂

[Mike_101]

Hi Bryn

I'm not sure if you've spoken to your GP yet but what you describe could also be related to a dissociative disorder such as depersonalisation disorder - which is characterised by a sense of being outside of one's body or that certain things don't seem or feel real or like your viewing everything in a dream like state. It doesn't mean your going crazy.

While there are no absolute causes of these conditions high on the list is stress and anxiety - which in of itself is increased by the feeling it gives of. For instances feeling like your going crazy might increase your anxiety which in turn might increase the feeling like your going crazy and creates a snowball. Other factors might be drug related, some people experience these feelings if they've had a bad trip, or after smoking marijuana. So there might be an underlying cause that has triggered these feelings.

As others have indicated, trying to reduce stress and anxiety might help - I know it's hard to do when you don't feel you, but factors in your life that might be causing you stress and anxiety might need to be addressed. Also talking to a GP might help - if you haven't already.

Kind regards
Mike