Dear Gnark
Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. This is a good place to talk about your concerns and have a conversation with others.
I'm not sure if I can help you much as this is a situation I have not encountered before. I know people often say "I'm paranoid" and generally they are half joking, but I understand this is not the case with you. As I understand it with others and myself, when we make that remark it is because we are uncertain about something that has happened or is about to happen. That (potential) event could have adverse consequences for us and we show our concern and ask for help in that way.
Usually we want reassurance that the feared event is not going to take place or the anticipated consequences will not result. A common scenario is to wonder if we are the subject of gossip. Another is the very real fear of losing a job. I am not trivialising your anxiety, just trying to put it into a context we can both agree on.
These thoughts can be quite terrifying and I can appreciate how you must feel. You already have some anxiety combined with depression and PTSD and this is a huge load to carry. Do you think this is an escalation of the PTSD and anxiety? That previous traumas have surfaced to cause this intense fear?
I guess my next comment is quite predicable. Do you receive any therapy from a psychologist/psychiatrist/counsellor? If so, have you discussed this with the therapist? And if not, do you think it would help to have a chat with your GP and get a referral to an appropriate professional?
Molly looks like a gorgeous little dog. How old is she? Has she lived with you for long? Dogs are very good at picking up on the anxiety of their owners and will react to noises etc in much the same way. So that may be why she barks a great deal.
Do you know of any reason why someone would want to harm you, or are you afraid of a random act of violence? Are you happy with the security of your home? When we are afraid it is comforting to feel we have appropriate safeguards in place. I know when managing my specific fears I find great comfort in taking realistic steps to minimize the risk. Perhaps this is something you could do.
If this fear is seriously impacting on your life I do urge you to discuss it with someone. If there is a solid reason for your fear then perhaps a discussion with your local police.
I look forward to your reply.
Mary
