stress and depression

[viper57]

Hi. I have been doing well for a while. Now started getting what i call floaters then panic one time my arms jumped. Lots is happening since returning to WA. Family turned on us. Just after returning. I now have RA. All things are making me sad. My mum dying 6 years ago is haunting me. Just doing everyday stuff is hard. I am sick at the moment. That doesnt help. Having RA. Is a pain. There are things i cant do anymore. Not happy

[pipsy]

Hi viper. There's no way you could have foreseen this business with your son. No-one can see into the future. You brought him up, taught him right from wrong. No matter how hard we try, we can't spend 24 hours with them. We can only hope that we instill enough sense into them that they develop into decent people. That's not to say your son is not a decent person. As I said he is easily swayed by the promise of wealth and fortune. It is not your fault, it is just he has dreams and was easily led. Perhaps a Dr could help you with getting better accommodation.

Lynda

[White_Rose]

You know the most common reaction to unwelcome and distressing news about our loved ones is, "I should have seen it earlier". Whether we could, should, didn't is irrelevant. You and your son are in this position and you cannot change the past. Sad I know and very distressing for you. Now you need to plan for your future. I suggest you keep the door open for your son but spend your energy on making a new life for you and your husband.

Waiting and hoping are soul destroying. Expect no help from your son. If he changes his mind, or as in the parable of the prodigal son, he 'comes to his senses', and wants to help you then you can reconcile if you wish. Talk to the psychologist about moving on and forgiving your son. I'm not preaching to you, I believe forgiveness is an important part of the healing process.

Forgiving means letting go of the hurt and disappointment. It's not about letting your son or anyone off the hook so to speak. He will need to live with his actions. If they bother him he must do something about it. Meanwhile you can let him go with a sigh and start to build a new life where you are. Does this make sense to you? I know it's not a cure but you can live your life without wondering what's going to happen next. And with some contentment in your life.

If CentreLink are hounding you about working, get a medical certificate from your doctor to say you are not able to work. For goodness sake, what do they expect you to do? Make an appointment to see one of these people and have a discussion about what you can and can't do. Take all the medical evidence with you.

OK time to stop. I hope my comments have been helpful and useful to you.

Mary

[viper57]

Hi all got a message from.pychologist today. $140. Per visit. Will be out of pocket nearly$57. Cant afford that on one pension. Not happy. We both see. Specialist for arthritis. Out of pocket $40. Each when we see him. This is tough

[pipsy]

Hi viper. At this point, I suggest you get to your Dr (or arrange a home visit). Show the Dr the price quote from the psychologist. Hopefully, the Dr will be able to give you a certificate to take to c'link explaining your financial circumstances. Either that or try Angli-care, I know in some circumstances they help with financial matters. I would also tell your Dr that you need emotional support due to your son's lack of caring. Because of the way your son has treated you, it has left you feeling extremely depressed. You need to be totally honest about your depression over this separation from your son, plus your physical disability. With you 59 and your hubby 62, there is no way either of you would be able to work. Apart from the fact that you are both nearly pension age, no-one is going to employ you for just two years, only to have you retire.

Lynda.

[White_Rose]

I understand how the cost of meetings with a psychologist rules it out. However, there are independent organisations that offer counselling. Usually at no cost or a very very minimal amount. Relationships Australia is a respected organisation which offers counselling. To make an appointment or ask questions phone 1300 364 277. Their charges are based on a sliding scale depending on income.

Anglicare WA have offices in various parts of the state which you may be able to attend. Look them up in the phone book. Both good places to go.

I gather your husband has a disability pension. Can you also apply for a disability pension. If your doctor says you cannot work it will get the ball rolling.

Let me know how you get on.

Mary

[viper57]

I have tried twice for the pension and been knocked back

[pipsy]

Hi viper. Were you given a reason for the refusal from c'link? Often when we are refused, the only thing we can do is re-apply. It's rather like dealing with the housing dept. I would ask your Dr again. C'link usually accepts a Dr's ruling, it's quite rare for them to go against. When did you apply? If you applied a while ago, you may have been considered too young (just a guess there). I think the govt has changed their ruling so I'd give it another try. With your age a factor, plus you're disability, plus your emotional state now. I realize it's taxing emotionally, but with a Dr's certificate and all the other factors I mentioned, c'link may be more inclined to assist you now. You may have to 'dance to their tune' a bit, they have to be seen to be following the rules, but try to persist.

Lynda

[White_Rose]

Oh dear, life is not treating you well. The more you write the more I want to say, let your son go, at least for the time being. Worrying and fretting about him is causing you so much grief and stress. I know it's a lot to say and in your position I would be reluctant.

For the time being there is little you can do about it. Please concentrate on getting as well as possible and as comfortable as possible. Your son may eventually realise how much he misses you and want to be part of the family again. Am I right thinking he is your only child?

Talk to your GP about getting help with housing and a pension. Other than certifying you are ill there may not be much they can do directly, but they should be able to tell you where you can get the best help. Any GP worth their salt should be able to do this. Tell the GP that you cannot afford the counselling cost and ask what alternatives are available. Probably the two I have mentioned but there may be local assistance you can access. Also ask to be referred to a social worker who can help you with the non medical aspects.

Mary

[viper57]

Morning. Pycologist is going to fit me in when she has concession appointments. Nothing at the moment. Wont be out of pocket much that way. Feel a bit happier. RA. In foot is still bad. Not much i can do. Happy weekend to all

[viper57]

Just had an upset. Saw floaters. Then panicked. Im sick at the moment as well as RA hurting