Should I tell others about my anxiety?

[Sezza_H]

Is it ok to tell the people around me about my anxiety?
I have struggled for quite a while with anxiety, but the strange thing is my anxiety doesn’t really manifest itself in anxious thoughts but more so in physical symptoms such as nausea, feeling faint, shaking, etc. I suppose I then worry a lot about these symptoms, and feel locked in with them whereby I am just so caught up with them that I struggle to be “present” or in the moment. This probably doesn’t make much sense but it’s the only way I can describe it.
These symptoms appear whenever I’m out with people or whenever someone comes over and it is difficult for me to have to put on a brave face and act “normal” when I feel horrible on the inside. Sometimes I wish I could just tell the people around me how I am feeling and how much I am struggling. But then I wonder, am I selfish for doing so? Everyone has problems and a lot of people are facing difficulties much worse than mine so would me telling the people around me (family, friends) be like me complaining or whining to them? I know this sounds a bit ridiculous, but it is something I am concerned about.
I guess I am wondering if I should tell my family and friends what’s really going on with me as I feel like I am sort of lying to them? Also, if I do tell them, how would I explain my anxiety?

[Sezza_H]

Hi IsaJett,
Often when I start to feel the physical symptoms of my anxiety, I try to fight it and I panic a little too because it is quite scary. I also get angry at myself for feeling the way I do. Of late these physical symptoms are always on my mind and I constantly feel nauseous, faint, etc.
I will definitely give what you have written a try and see how I go. It sounds scary to me but maybe with some practice it will get better. Thanks so much for your suggestions, you have been a big help😊

[smallwolf]

Hi Sezza,

I won't reply to the first few questions you asked and instead will jump to the last questions. But before that, wondering if you have looked at the k10 test? And whether you are tackling this on your own, or getting therapy?

I am husband and father to 2 teens. They all know I see a psychologist and psychiatrist. My wife obviously knows more than my children. The night everything went haywire for me I was very quiet. While my wife knew something was wrong she did not know what it was. It was only after seeing a GP and then psychologist that I would tell her what I was feeling. In doing so I would also have to explain the difference between anxiety and depression. But when I did tell my wife it was in a cafe where there was no chance of interruptions etc. She was obviously scared,but I really assured her that I was not dying - it is not a terminal disease.

And as you will have seen here, you are not alone. That is despite what we might think. In fact it was only when I spoke to other people that I would get their story as well. Don't ask me why I would initiate this conversation.

When I told my parents, I found out that dad was on ADs for some time. So I would have a predisposition to it. And mum told me of other people I knew that were on ADs as well. Again, y you are not alone.

As for when you tell them... You will know when the time is right. You said that you don't like living a lie. For me there was a relief in being able to be myself and getting help. I did not have to pretend any more.

Tim

[Sezza_H]

Hi Tim,
Yes, I saw a GP where I completed a k10 test and scored in the high range, my GP wrote up a mental health plan and referred me to a psychologist at my local Headspace centre (I have attended this same Headspace in the past). The only problem is I won’t be able to see a psychologist there until February so until then I am kind of on my own. My anxiety has been the worst it’s ever been and in addition I am also quite depressed. I usually don’t talk about how I am feeling a lot but found that during this difficult time I wanted to open up more to the people around me to let them know what was going on.
I also felt more relieved when I opened to someone I trust (I confided in a close cousin of mine). However, I also opened up more to my mother and even though she hasn’t explicitly said anything I get the feeling she is not as understanding…. Don’t get me wrong my mum does a lot for me and loves me very much, but I feel as though she has mistaken me for being lazy and not really seeing that its not that I don’t want to socialise or go out but that it is just such a struggle.
Thank you for sharing your experience, it really resonates with me and has been very helpful

[smallwolf]

To help you through this period, may I suggest the following:

• Apps I use include virtual hope box and relax melodies. These include distraction and coping strategies.
• A book recommended to me by my psychologist is titled the happiness trap. You should be able to find a copy at your local library.
• Check out the threads on grounding and mindfulness on the forum for other ideas to distract you from the negative thoughts.
• I also have prayer beads, but worry beads, fidget spinner can also help.

Hope some of these ideas work for you.

Tim

[IsaJett]

I’m glad I can help in any little ways ...just remember to be kind to yourself and also pay more attention to the progress u have made. It’s great to practice and u get way better at it .

another thing I do ..is dance ...i love dancing just in my bedroom ..hahah music up loud and I feel glorious for like at least 3 -4 days ..it’s really quite amazing ..Maybe it’s the movement .

please let me know of your progress ..We r always here for you

[Sezza_H]

Hi Tim,
Thanks again, all of your suggestions are very helpful

[Sezza_H]

Hi IsaJett,
Yes sometimes it’s really difficult to be kind to oneself but I can definitely see the importance of it and will try to keep that in mind during this difficult period.
I am terrible at dancing but I used to dance a lot in my room so maybe it’s something I’ve got to start doing again hahaha😊 Thanks again!

[blondguy]

Hi Sezza

Thankyou for taking the time to post back to everyone! (not that its required of course)

You are proactive with your health by making the solid effort you have...Good1 🙂

You are amazing for opening up to your mum....and your mum may not seem to be as understanding as you thought yet she could also be processing what you have told her....Not that its earth shattering or anything as its a very common yet awful set of symptoms to have Sezza

There is great support and TLC above from everyone...I was just smiling reading all the posts that you have received.

Just a note if thats okay....There is no thing as a dumb question on the forums.....My anxiety started in 1983 when I was 23 and I didnt understand the benefit of frequent counseling to reduce my anxiety for 13 years....oops

Any questions are more than welcome Sezza 🙂

did I mention that you are amazing!

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[Sezza_H]

Hi Paul,

Thank you!

Your replies, along with everyone else’s on this thread, has been so helpful and has managed to lift my spirits a little bit😊I feel less alone and I feel more understood and supported thanks to this wonderful forum and everyone on it!

Its still been tough but I am giving everything that has been suggested to me a good go.

Today, for example, while out with friends I haven't seen in a while I could feel the symptoms, but I tried to remain calm and breathe through it. As a result, I was able to enjoy the time with them. I did leave a bit early because it became quite difficult but I’m really proud that I was able to stay as long as I did and see some of my friends again. I’m going to keep practising all of these suggestions and hopefully I will get better at it.
Thanks again Paul and to everyone else on this thread!

[blondguy]

Hey Sezza!

Thankyou for taking the time to post back to everyone! (not that you have to of course!)

You are amazing for practicing all the tips that can help us reduce our anxiety levels....Excellent 🙂 Can I ask if your mum is helping you with how you have been feeling?

my kind thoughts

Paul