I have been in a long distance relationship wih my boyfriend for 3 years now. It began whilst we were both living in the same state/area but quickly due to the home life of my partner changed to long distance. We have been long distance for 2 years out of the 3 now.
He moved, and has been living with his mum and siblings. Firstly, I got along with them all. I am shy but can hold a conversation, just getting a bit nervous before each visit but no anxiety.
At the dinner table each night his mum would watch me eat. (She serves up the dinner). And would comment on me not finishing saying stuff along the lines of 'you should have that last bite' etc basically of having the clean plate mentality. This isn't what i've grown up with and being 22 find it a bit 'rude' to push an adult to finish a serving they didn't serve themselves? I don't know if thats just the way I've been brought up but we never were pushed to clean our plates.
Anyway, that started getting my anxious about meals and so i decieded when i visited i would meal prep and make my own food. I love cooking and cook at home everyday so I would prefer to cook anyway.
But by not eating when they eat, I have less reasoning to leave my boyfriends room. And find myself in a way avoiding leaving it when i know people are home etc. If it is just us I walk around use the kitchen etc. I think its also due to feeling like a don't want to intrude and if his mum gets home from work in a tired mood etc I don't want her feeling like she needs to hold back in front of me.
She doesn't say hello to me or acknowledge I'm there. I don't know if that means she is 'respecting' my and my boyfriends space when I am there or if she has given up on our friendship. She would give me xmas presents etc but this year nothing. Have I pushed her away and made her hate me or?
I would just like to add. I do find things that my boyfriends mum has said in the past to be rude and thats when I found myself growing apart. I always do the washing and cleaning of the house when i visit and pay board and for my own food. To show respect and thankfulliness for staying (my boyfriend doesn't do the same when he visits mine but i am on top of that stuff at mine). She mentioned to my bf that i don't offer to help so go out of my way everytime now to help even more.
I don't know what to do. I have been at his for up to seven days and haven't spoken to his mum or seen her in the whole time. How should I change?
