Should I tell others about my anxiety?

[Sezza_H]

Is it ok to tell the people around me about my anxiety?
I have struggled for quite a while with anxiety, but the strange thing is my anxiety doesn’t really manifest itself in anxious thoughts but more so in physical symptoms such as nausea, feeling faint, shaking, etc. I suppose I then worry a lot about these symptoms, and feel locked in with them whereby I am just so caught up with them that I struggle to be “present” or in the moment. This probably doesn’t make much sense but it’s the only way I can describe it.
These symptoms appear whenever I’m out with people or whenever someone comes over and it is difficult for me to have to put on a brave face and act “normal” when I feel horrible on the inside. Sometimes I wish I could just tell the people around me how I am feeling and how much I am struggling. But then I wonder, am I selfish for doing so? Everyone has problems and a lot of people are facing difficulties much worse than mine so would me telling the people around me (family, friends) be like me complaining or whining to them? I know this sounds a bit ridiculous, but it is something I am concerned about.
I guess I am wondering if I should tell my family and friends what’s really going on with me as I feel like I am sort of lying to them? Also, if I do tell them, how would I explain my anxiety?

[jess334]

Hi Sezza,

Your explanation of your symptoms does make sense. At least it sounds very familiar to me!

It is absolutely up to you whether you tell people about your anxiety. I take each situation as it comes and sometimes I tell people Im feeling anxious, sometimes I dont, and sometimes they can tell.

All my family and friends know that I suffer from anxiety - I decided to tell everyone a few years ago when I did some fundraising for Beyond Blue. I was surprised that almost everyone was supportive and many were going through similar issues.

Sometimes it helps me to mention that I am feeling anxious, as it gives people a reason for my behaviour. For example I might be a lot quieter than normal, or not want to eat anything. If I let my family know I am anxious they will just accept it and not try and force food on me or ask why I am not participating etc.

It is not selfish at all. I am not asking them to fix my anxiety or take on my problem, just letting them know why I am acting differently.

There are also situations, usually around people I don't know well where I lie and say I have a headache or sometime rather than tell them it is anxiety. This is usually because I don't want to explain what that means or listen to their mental health problems at that point in time.

When I do speak to people about my anxiety I usually find I become less anxious. I am no longer trying to hide or pretend, and that makes it easier.

Kind thoughts, Jess

[Barbie2005]

Hi Sezza H! It sounds a lot like you have Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). I have it, too. it can be really tough to act “OK” - usually impossible!

i think you should tell someone. It helps them understand how you feel and helps them act more appropriately. They will probably ask (or wonder in their head) how to help you feel more comfortable - so try to think of some things. It’s OK if you aren’t sure - let them know and try some things out.

Here are some starters on how I would start, although you can alter them to your taste or make up your own!

”Well, I just get really scared/anxious/frightened when aiming around people and I cannot help it. It is really annoying”

[blondguy]

Hi Sezza and Happy Christmas too 🙂

I understand the anxious feelings you have as I have had them for a long time and they are awful

You mentioned "my anxiety doesn’t really manifest itself in anxious thoughts but more so in physical symptoms such as nausea, feeling faint, shaking, etc" This is very common with anxiety as the physical symptoms usually try to warn us that we may have some type of anxiety

Can I ask you how often these awful symptoms occur? (I used to have them every day...ugh!!)

you are not alone with these physical symptoms

I hope you can post back when its convenient for you Sezza_H

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Sezza_H]

Hi jess334,
Thanks for replying! What you have written makes complete sense to me as I can very much relate (i.e I also get quieter when I am anxious and refrain from eating just because of the nauseous feeling) and so what you have written has been very helpful.
Thanks again 😊

[Sezza_H]

Hey Barbie2005,
Yes, you’re exactly right. I don’t wish anxiety on anyone, but I must admit it is nice to know that I am not alone and that there are people out there that understand how I am feeling so thank you. I ended up confiding in a close cousin of mine who I feel comfortable with and I felt better. I felt like I had someone who would understand a bit of why I might be acting a little different (e.g. being quieter) and why I needed to take a little breather at one stage just to cope with the anxious feeling.
Thanks again 😊

[Sezza_H]

Hi Paul,
Thanks for replying!
Yes, I feel these awful symptoms every day (some days are better than others, but I still feel it at some stage) and it is terrible! I feel like I can’t escape these physical symptoms – I’m sure that you can probably understand this.

[IsaJett]

Hi sezza

I think you should definitely talk about it ...and it help them understand you better ..I used to struggle too ,,if I should tell them or not. There really is a whole heap u can do about it ...but trying to hide it ..would hinder in the progress ...you can try breathing exercises ...and meditation videos ,..the ones by Jason Stephenson ..just look up “ anxiety Jason Stephenson “ I use it and it helps me with my episodes all the time ...it helps me for many days in a row ...saves me everytime ..there are many others that are free on YouTube ..so I think u should give it a burl .find one that gravitates to you ..some sound a bit robotic ...hahaha but Jason just sounds like a close friend who cares ...hahah

let me know now how U go with it ..I hope it helps u like it did me

keep well and keep writing

[Sezza_H]

Hi IsaJett,
Thank you so much! I will definitely give Jason Stephenson a go and see if it works for me. I really like the description “a close friend who cares” hahaha😊 I’ll keep you posted on how I go with it.
And yes, I’ve decided to be a bit more open about my anxiety rather than constantly trying to hide it as this is exhausting. Thanks again for your help, its nice to know that there are others just like me who understand what I am going through.

[IsaJett]

Hi sezza

i forgot to mention one thing that I recently learned ..and that is ..”. what you resist ...usually persists “

so when u feel those nasties coming up ..just sit with it ..just learn to be comfy with those uncomfortable feelings ..and just know that it will pass ..because it does .

its important that you breathe through it or count it out ..I count backwards..from 50...usually it dissipates ..

It’s a fun exercise to experiment with ..u just tweak it for yourself ..and always stay Kind to yourself ..keep well