Hi this might sound silly but I feel really anxious and I just need a unbiased opinion on something... my mums washing machine has broken and long story short it will be a few weeks/months before we can get her a new one.
I feel very anxious and guilty right now because she came over to use mine today, which was ok. But she mentioned coming over every Saturday to wash and I said as nicely as I could that since she is at my sisters house several times a week (to see my nephew/her grandson) couldn't she put a load on once/twice a week there (one load a week covers her washing easy) and my sister doesn't mind (I ended up asking my sister because my mum seems to be under the impression that she wouldn't be ok with that, because she has to wash the babies things etc). But she doesn't mind.
And I also said it will save her driving back and forth here every week. She is on limited income and she'd just be wasting petrol coming here when she already goes to my sisters. My mum got upset at this. If I was her only option I would have let her use mine even though I struggle greatly with anxiety (GAD and SA) and depression and really need time at home where I can just be by myself and try to get some things done.
I feel bad because I think she took it as I don't want you here and it's not what I meant. She has bipolar and is not easy to be around at all but it isn't what I meant. If her only option was to come here I would have just agreed, but going to my sisters makes more sense then coming here.
I feel guilty because even though I would have let her come here, I am really glad I'm not the only option; because with my anxiety disorders I need time to myself, she stresses me out a lot, she doesn't respect my needs etc. I feel like I can't function now after she was here due to what happened. I can't have her here every week when it's not a necessity. I'll never get a thing done. I'm already so stressed all the time. But I feel like I'm being selfish. But then I'm like but it makes more sense for her to do it at my sisters.
Sorry I'm rambling a bit. I just feel terrible.
thoughts?
