Sense of Impending Doom

[Birdy77]

Hello everyone.

I have been really struggling today, and I thought writing here might help.

What I am about to describe may sound weird, but it is a true feeling for me. I wondered if anyone else reading has experience of it?

Every now and then, I get this terrible sense of impending doom.

Like, everything, everything, is about to go horribly wrong.

I have realised that I have been having these feelings semi-frequently for the last few years.

A few years ago I experienced an intense trauma in my life, and I'm wondering now if there are triggers, like little, tiny things, that possibly happened before the trauma, that I am not necessarily conscious of, that again happen now, in my life, and set me off on this spiral of doom.

This morning, the feeling of impending doom had me thinking that the police were likely to turn up at my door and take me to prison.

My life is good.

I am safe.

In my house.

Consistently not committing crimes.

And yet ... occasionally this feeling that the world is conspiring against me and everything good is about to implode just takes over.

I understand that it's irrational, but there's something that sends me in a spiral, and anything simple can bring me back up that spiral as well, like a text from a friend, or something tiny like that. It brings me back to safety.

I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone else feels this way. I want you to know that you're not alone, and I thought I might feel some relief voicing this in a safe space.

I'm not really looking for advice or anything, just kind of wanted a place to talk about it, not just for me but for anyone who experiences this.

I feel so vulnerable.

I mentioned something similar to my dad once and he said it's because I have a guilty conscience.

🌻birdy

[demonblaster]

🤗 Our beautiful loved tweety. Hi all ☺

It's good to see you sweety tweety I meant it when I said I was missing you.

Totally hear you when you say you can't word it when you're in a dark place and it's the time probs we need to be able to express. Our gorgeous Grandy once suggested just to write a word/s down rather than try to elaborate in these times. I've often thought about that. I think it's so hard because we're in so much pain then thinking about expressing our feelings takes us further in.

The chances are you know about the benefits of breathing lovely getting the oxygen around for energy also the distractions helpful to temporarily take us away from the pain. Grandz taught me in gently and calmly over 5 secs hold for 6 and on exhaling internally say RELAX which is proven to help, I also am aware of relaxing my shoulders and neck at the time.

Cool cool about the shed darl, love your wording for it 😆. Hey prones fine it's a step closer to reality. I think too you'll feel pressure leave once you declutter some boxes. Great you're seeing a future of hope and improvement. Thatta girl ☺

As our dear Peppy said even soul mates argue, the important part is youse talked it through. I don't think people can always agree. Yes it hurts lovey but only because of your strong love and bond. Say hi please ☺

I often talk after the hards I don't know if that appeals to you darlin. It's I think healthy to express and rid. Oh and another learn with breathing is goods on in and bads on out. Sometimes I think pretty flowers on in and just general ick on out.

You made perfect sense tweety. I'm so sorry you're doing it so hard and really hope you're on the way back up. Take your many friends 🤝 here and know we're ALWAYS walking with you and won't let go.

You're Gold tweety. Very easy to love.

Exit...stage Left... it was snaggle puss who does the sufferin succotash me thinks 😁🥁..wow how long did it take to find that 🙃

Big love sweet tweet 🤗 ... here sweetheart 🍫 I'm giving you one of my chocs from dear Peppystars choc empire.

OMG I didnt think this was at all possible I threw a 🍫 away today it tasted like wax. I would have spat it out if I wasnt in public and it wouldnt break down 😆 felt like a cow 🐄 chewing my cud.. shudder

[Ggrand]

Hello dear sweety Tweety..

Im sorry that you’ve been in such a dark place..it’s so very hard to have words make any sense to us when we’re down...meant times I’ve said the same...We all understand about not posting here when down...Oh by the way I understood your post it makes sense to me as well...

Both Peppy and Deebi have written beautiful caring posts, so I won’t repeat what they said..I agree fully that it hurts deeply when we have quarrels with our love ones..I’m pleased that you both could talk it out, that’s so important that you listen to each other’s words that come from your hearts....

Its okay sweety that you can’t talk at the moment, when you feel the time is right, we will be all hear listening to you, holding your hand and giving you our love and care to such a wonderful and beautiful person...

Im so happy capital S Shed has arrived..that’s the important part..When you feel like putting it up you will do so....Just take your time and be very gentle and loving to yourself like you are to others here....

Do you like scented candles? They are a peaceful distraction for you..if you just sit and watch the flickering dancing flame...

I hope you get stronger each day lovely lady...

Sending you my love and some gentle but firm soul hugs..💜🤗🤗...

Ooops..Deebi you found my candle chocolate..😂 I was wondering where it got to😂😂. it smells so yummy but eating it is another thing all together😬..😂..

Take care of you..your a very special person to so many dear friend..

Grandy. 🐓 🐓...

[Croix]

Dear Birdy~

>P.S. sufferin'succotash!🥁

This is probably for me the most encouraging thing abut your last post, despite arguments, Sheds that lie down and not being in a good "headspace"™ you still have that spark of humor.

Mrs B and you arguing is understandable, after all it is not a stress-free life, do you mind if I mention my partner and I have a pact?

First we never say anything that cannot be taken back (e.g."I want a divorce") or is so hurtful as to damage (e.g. " Fat so and so" - though in this case Mrs Croix is not and would laugh), and secondly we try to find tactics to defuse an escalating situation which we can employ at a later date- "Would you like a cuppa" seems to work a lot for us.

Please forgive me if I'm being presumptuous in offering advice, it is only concern

Croix ("I Tawt I Taw A Puddy Tat")

[Birdy77]

Hello Everyone 😊

Thank you so much for listening to me and being here for me. Big special thanks to Pepper, Deebs, Grandy and the Wise Walrus for your really lovely and deeply appreciated messages.

Words are still a bit hard to conjure I'm afraid, but I really wanted to acknowledge you each and honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Tears!!

The Shed remains in its "relaxed" pose down yonder (I could've knocked you all down with a feather with that piece of news, I'll bet). But it has been good to have some tradies here today working on some other improvements to our little house which really does feel quite inspiring and good.

It's been an absolutely beautiful day and I had a special moment in the garden this evening as the sun was setting, deep orangey-red behind the ranges to the west, & looking through my garden towards it was a blessing. So many different colours in the leafy vegetables, flowers and tall miscanthus, with the red sun beyond. Lovely.

Sir Croix, it was not in the least bit presumptuous of you and I am always interested to hear anything that has worked and does work for you. I was wondering actually if you had any other points from your Pact that might help.

I was eavesdropping on you and Deebs truth be told (The Hide!!!), and Deebs I would love to hear any strategies that worked for you and your Love as well, if you felt comfortable sharing. We can all learn from each other's built-up wisdom right?

On that note, I must set you on the straight and narrow Deebs, about our friend Snagglepuss. Now: he likes himself a bit of the old "Heavens to Murgotroid!" and old mate Sylvester, that Brave Puddy Tat, is who I quoted last message (and I think I should have quoted him "Thufferin' Thuccotath" really).

Am I right? Or am I right?

You bbffs made me laugh about the disgusting-tasting chocolate candle. You two need to go on the road with your comedy act. Anyway, Grandy, I really really like scented candles and use them frequently. My favourites at this minute are soy candles with the flavours "Caramel Vanilla Fudge" and "Lemon Syrup Biscotti". Can you, for a second,
imagine how good they smell? (Deebs!!! Spit them out right now!!).

I think that's all I have in me for now.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤

🌻birdy xo

[demonblaster]

🤗💗🤝

Hold in there sweet heart oops sweety tweety heart

See you Peps Doolsy later.

Love to the beautiful people here ⚘🐣

[Peppermintbach]

Dear friend/beautiful birdy (and a wave to all),

It must have been such an incredible feeling to have had the tradies there. Congratulations! I can hear your sense of relief that things are starting to move along 🙂 Very happy for you and warm hugs as well...

I’m sure the Wise Walrus and our Darling DB will be happy to oblige with pearls from their pacts...they’ve both had/have beautiful relationships.

Lol. Grandy and DB are quite the duo. I’m so pleased they brought a (much needed) smile to your face...they’re both gorgeous people with the biggest hearts...

Your special moment in the evening sounds like it really helped to lift your spirits...a stunning sunset to complement the array of colours in your growing garden. You have a tender and moving ability to appreciate the wonders around you...hold onto precious moments like that...

Sending much love,

Pepper xoxox

[Ggrand]

Hello Sweety Birdy..

Im so happy that you got a bit of a laugh at Deebi, and my thread..it warms my heart to know that...

Awee...Birdy Sorry sweety that your hurting a lot..and the tears are falling..🤗...Let the tears fall...release some pain...it’s the only way to release our hurt from our soul...I wish I could just hold you while your tears fall...

Birdy...isn’t the sunset glorious..I’m happy you saw the end of your day...I hope some of your bads disappeared with the sun....It’s the end of our day but wow the days sometimes go away with a brilliant show...I have to travel not far about 5 kilometres to get the best sighting of the sun setting...but on the other hand I can if I get up early enough the beginning of a new day with the sun coming up over the mountain ranges in front of mine...The sun rise is beautiful as well....

Your candles sounds like they would make me hungry the scents would be amazing...I think it would be a good idea to keep them away from Deebi...Our beautiful Deebi..might get hungry 😋 and try to eat them....😂😂..

Birdy...sweetheart take your time lovely friend about posting here until you feel you not struggling as much...The most important thing atm is you Birdy...your important to us all here...Please be gentle and kind to you...I know you can be..Please try...the very best you can....🌹🤗💕..

Sending you some of my love 💜💕 and some gentle and caring 🐻🤗 ...

Grandy...

[demonblaster]

Our adorabubble sweety tweety 🐣 your lovely crew 💗 and readers ☺
Out of characters now so catch you later 😄

You're so welcome. Really is awful seeing people you love and care deeply about hurting. How are you now darlin it sounds like some excellent happenings at the tweety nest. Would be so refreshing having renos done well done Tweety family.
That sunset sounds amazing, keep that in your memory darl to call back on in hard times the triggers a good one. Maybe feel and think about that as much as po. I looked up miscanthus also known as Silver grass. Wow sounds spectacular tweets ☺

Loven the relaxed pose with your shed. Huns the secret is don't let stress about it affect you. It's there now so something to look forward to when you're up to it. Rome wasn't built in a day. My god do I know that 😄

Yes my darling and I had a beautiful solid happy secure relationship. He was my life partner without a doubt but as with most people there were moments. I said in an argument yrs ago I wasn't going to be nasty and try to hurt. Have said since to people in arguments, argue with intelligence. My beautiful hadnt yet got there but SO many amazing excellent qualities and he'd apologise. I knew he didnt mean it & was letting frustration out of pain. Mind you...I gave him both barrells though 🙄He really was a beautiful bloke. Not just words 💗RIP my darling. Always love you and thoughts.

I think and smile often about you laughing at our candle wax 😆and love you saying "spit it out now Deebs" 😂Those ones you have do sound a bit tasty though 🤔maybe just a little nibble 🤢🤧 cool you saying we should go on the road. So nice making people laugh.

You did very well Tweets posting. Very hard isnt it. I wonder when you're feeling that way if you'd like to simply say your struggling then we know and can support and be here for you darlin. You don't have to reply. I really hope you're seeing some more sunsets and light in your days sweety girl.

I doubt you know how absolutely amazing you are. You're beyond magic hun. Don't ever doubt yourself lovely else I'll have to put my hands on hips stamp my feet then have a word to you our loved tweety. Then I'd probs have to have a sleep cause it all sounds like hard work 🤗

Much love dear friend. Always remember with time comes change and time never stops.

💗🐣🤝🤗

[John_P]

Hello All.

I have lived with anxiety most of my adult life. It gets really bad and then better and then really bad and then better. etc.

The more i experience it, the more it reduces when: you feel connected to people or a group and are accepted- people with anxiety find it hard to connect- connection is the opposite to anxiety....my advice- identify people you can trust-and force yourself to let go and feel warmth with them. over time you feel connected.......secondly reducing problems in your life- or variables for me reduces anxiety-----anxiety comes from uncertainty over many things. If things become certain (certain enough) anxiety reduces......so work out a plan to increase certainty in your life

that what works for me- i still manage my anxiety, but for me- connection and increasing certainty in my life radically reduces my anxiety. any thoughts or similar experiences?

[Moonstruck]

Yes John...it sounds very familiar and I tend to agree with you. When I am around people to whom I feel "connected" and in a situation where a degree of "certainty" abounds for me....the anxiety does lessen. I'd never thought of it that way before.....so thanks. I think you're right!