Sense of Impending Doom

[Birdy77]

Hello everyone.

I have been really struggling today, and I thought writing here might help.

What I am about to describe may sound weird, but it is a true feeling for me. I wondered if anyone else reading has experience of it?

Every now and then, I get this terrible sense of impending doom.

Like, everything, everything, is about to go horribly wrong.

I have realised that I have been having these feelings semi-frequently for the last few years.

A few years ago I experienced an intense trauma in my life, and I'm wondering now if there are triggers, like little, tiny things, that possibly happened before the trauma, that I am not necessarily conscious of, that again happen now, in my life, and set me off on this spiral of doom.

This morning, the feeling of impending doom had me thinking that the police were likely to turn up at my door and take me to prison.

My life is good.

I am safe.

In my house.

Consistently not committing crimes.

And yet ... occasionally this feeling that the world is conspiring against me and everything good is about to implode just takes over.

I understand that it's irrational, but there's something that sends me in a spiral, and anything simple can bring me back up that spiral as well, like a text from a friend, or something tiny like that. It brings me back to safety.

I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone else feels this way. I want you to know that you're not alone, and I thought I might feel some relief voicing this in a safe space.

I'm not really looking for advice or anything, just kind of wanted a place to talk about it, not just for me but for anyone who experiences this.

I feel so vulnerable.

I mentioned something similar to my dad once and he said it's because I have a guilty conscience.

🌻birdy

[startingnew]

Hello dear Birdy

I can relate to your post! I get that impending doom feeling quite often. It can be rather unsettling cant it.

I find myself getting so anxious and sometimes paranoid that something bad is going to happen that i spiral downwards very quickly

You meantioned having that feeling of safety which is very normal and everyone needs that but if you are experiencing it abit more than usual then perhaps you could add something different or extra to your house that brings those feelings of comfort and safety something like a new picture of you and mrs as a reminder you are safe. Hmm im not sure if im explaining this very well......

have you got some supports you could talk to? Trauma is a tricky thing so maybe there is something in your subconcious thats being triggered. Maybe its worth exploring more but that is your decison and i/we will support you whatever you choose ❤

I dont have much to add to what the others have said but your definently not alone. ❤

[Birdy77]

Hello everyone.

Thank you so much for all of your replies.

Reading each of them made me feel calmer.

Sorry for bundling my reply into 1 post for now.

Amanda, thank you for your care and kindness. Please take care of yourself & do not feel pressured to post on your thread until you are absolutely ready.

Croix (TG-FW), thank you for your confidence in my lack of criminal mastermind, but I guess I haven't told you about the time, circa 1986, when I stole an eraser from my neighbour's house when I had been over there to play. In my defence, it was pink and shaped like a love heart, plus it smelled like strawberries. Pretty tempting. I hid it at the back of my wardrobe for months and felt so guilty that I returned it surreptitiously on a subsequent play visit.

I think you are right about the foreboding feeling perhaps being a reaction to present hassles and stresses. Your example of being fired for some unlikely offence made perfect sense to me, they're the sorts of thoughts I'm quite skilled at conjuring. My process is similar, 1st the feeling, then very creative scenarios to justify it.

Grandy, thank you for your very caring words. I do have a professional I can talk to when I need to. I am so sorry you have these feelings. For me they come and go. Yesterday was bad.

Pepper, thank you for your beautiful support and kindness. I completely understand your feeling of "things are good, this can't last long", it is a feeling I am very familiar with.

Peace068, thanks so much for helping me know I'm not alone. When I read your post, it made me realise that I've had similar feelings even back in my childhood, your description of the letterbox as a "sign" reminded me of being about 12yrs old on a camping trip (my mum didnt come on the trip) & I looked up and saw this particular cloud formation and felt sure that it meant my mum had passed away & I was terrified until I was able to ring her.

Paul, it is true that too much quiet time can lead to thinking way too hard.

Wallington, your description of it feeling like claustrophobia really struck a chord with me, that closing-in feeling I find paralysing & frightening.

Baet123 thanks for your reassuring words.

SN, your idea of putting up a new photo of me & mrs was very good, like a new reminder of comfort and safety. Thank you.

Most of all thank you all for helping me to feel validated and heard. I am in good company.

I feel a bit better today, almost confident the cops won't come knocking 👍

🌻birdy

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely birdy (waves to all),

I’m really glad you’re feeling a little better today, and that there will be no arrests 😉

If you ever feel like purging your emotions or just talking here, there are (clearly) many open hearts ready and willing to help cushion some of that pain...that said, no pressure...only if you want to...

Sending gentle hugs and blue butterflies your way...

Love,

Pepper xoxox

[White_Rose]

Hello Birdy

Yes, I am another who feels as you do. I would really like to know what triggers these feelings and I have tried to trace the cause. Mostly though I want to get rid of it because it is so upsetting. Now I make plans to manage this sense of impending doom. I suspect we are all touched in some way by these thoughts and maybe that is a spin off from our various ailments. Whatever the cause, unless it is happening frequently, I think we need to get through it the best way possible.

However having said all that I do understand the feeling of almost terror that gets into our heads before we realise it. I am sorry you have these feelings because they are not nice. Glad you have someone to talk to and of course we are always here.

Mary

[startingnew]

Your welcome Birdy, im glad your feeling abit better today. As Peps said, your most welcome to talk here anytime you need/want xo

Hugs xoxox

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Birdy,

I’m so pleased to hear that your feeling better today...We’re all here for you whenever you feel your able to talk..No hurry..

Please Dear Birdy try your hardest to be kind ang gentle with you..

Lots of love and hugs..

Grandy..

[baet123]

Hey Birdy,

So happy to hear your doing better.

Keep us posted! We are hear for you.

Stay strong and positive Birdy!!!

Nick

[Birdy77]

Thank you very much everyone.

Today is a bad day. A very bad day.

That terror you mentioned Mary ... it snuck up on me this morning and before I knew it, it has consumed me.

Like everything is about to implode.

I can feel it in every fibre of my body and brain!

It's a terrible, terrible feeling.

I am going to do my best this morning to get through these frightening feelings.

I feel like a wreck right now. An absolute wreck!

Ok, I need to take a gentle hold of this ...

I am going to go outside and hang some washing, maybe I will water the veg patch for just a bit and breathe. I will try to be gentle with myself.

Thanks again everyone.

🌻birdy

[Ggrand]

Hello Lovely Birdy,

Please breathe in 1-2-3-4-5...breathe out....R-E-L-A-X..try this a few times...breathe counting and say relax on your exhale...it’s good your going to hang out the clothes..if you can do it mindfully, feeling the different textures of material, the different colours, look around and see your chickens and listen to them and the birds that are hanging around....breathing in for 5 and then out for relax..

After you water your veggie patch, maybe some mindfulness practice outside in your back yard with your chickens would be so adorably calming, watching them pecking around.....while your feeling the sun on your skin...

Birdy,. We are all here for you, holding your hand, holding you up...I know it’s hard I know but you can relax, you need to relax... distract your thoughts away from the terror your feeling. Some meditation, yoga, reading, puzzles....Please try your hardest..Can you ring someone? Just to talk to....to divert your mind, your thoughts...breathe, even when if your reading this continue to breathe..

Please be very gentle with you, you are very much loved/cared for here and we are walking next to you holding your hand sweetheart...,big huge hugs..🤗...

Please let us know how you’re doing when you feel up to it...

love and hugs..🤗💜..

Grandy...

[Peppermintbach]

Oh beautiful Birdy,

Just hang in there now...I know you’re feeling overwhelmed. The terror is alarming but it’s going to be okay...

Maybe not right now but maybe in an hour’s time, a day’s time or whenever...you’ll get through this and we are all here holding your hand...with you in spirit...

You have gotten through it before so I’ve every faith in you that you can get through it again...

Yes, as you said, go outside, hang your washing, water your veggie patch...and most importantly, just breathe...

Maybe observe your surroundings...gently and slowly...notice the grass, your gentle chooks, the textures in your hand, the feeling of the sun...

Maybe by observing your surroundings, it will quieten the terror within a little...bring yourself into the here and now.

And in the here and now...you’re safe.

Sitting quietly with you...

Love,

Pepper xoxox