Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Chin_Up · ‎17-06-2013

To all the fellow sufferers of anxiety,

Ever since I was a young child I have suffered from an extreme phobia of death. If I so much as think about it, I will have hot flushes and feel faint. My mind cannot fathom the thought of being here on earth, creating all of these loving relationships and then having it all erased.

I'm not a religious person, so I don't have the comfort of saying to people 'see you on the other side' When for me, I have yet to experience any proof of this so called eternal life.

I believe this fear is a large reason for my anxious and depressive personality.

Does anybody have any feedback on there thoughts, feelings and fears of death.. I think I just need to talk about it.

Hugs to all,

ChinUp.

laureah21 · ‎31-07-2013

Hi Chin up,

That must feel horrible. I have never had that problem but do suffer anxiety. I find Allan Watts lectures on youtube helpm me with my fear alot. Here is one about fear of death that might help you a bit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Rz4ReNv6M8

Mild · ‎09-08-2013

Lately I have been unsure about death myself. Currently 22 and overweight, I recently lost my dog and with a few other things it has been making me ponder about life. Was trying to go to sleep after having a family dinner and I was having panic attacks wondering what would happen once I die. If it helps I'm also agnostic - so I don't believe in any religion but I do hope something appears.

Two things have helped me understand it better

#1 - I'm too young to understand, it will be more familiar once I am closer to death

#2 - Circle of life and death must continue (popular character quote from someone in league of legends)

This helped me find some closer knowing we all must die sometime for life to continue however I was still curious - I wanted to understand more about why we die and the afterlife.

Naturally I have been reading what I can off the web and have found some closure in the words of scientists to understand death a little better - in particular Einstein. I find research scientists and their views on religion is quite peaceful. However at the end of the day I was born from nature, I live off nature and I will return to nature once I die. Once I accepted this I began to think of the afterlife and meaning of life. If I am here to aid nature, what happens afterwards? Maybe Reincarnation?

Hence what I am still anxious about is the afterlife, the possibility of a soul and whether I will be with my family after I die. With this I have nothing but faith to go off and the wisdom of others. I have little faith to begin with but I do believe (with long talks from my Mother) that those that have gone before me are looking out for me. My Dad believes his family are there waiting for him. Then my thoughts go crazy ... Scientists are researching the possibility of a soul, If Energy is neither created nor destroyed then where do I go? Will I still be with my family or see them? Will I feel love? Will I still exist?

Don't know what happens after death if anything and I can accept that. I just want to know if I still have my family after death and it scares me. The idea of reincarnation and losing my family scares me more. My mother believes I am grieving at the moment but I still want to hope. Any ideas?

The_Real_David_Charles · ‎09-08-2013

"Death, where is thy sting ?" quote from The Bible.

Dear Chin Up,

Most talk about death merely gives death importance. There are a billion other ideas to think about and enjoy. Even "Dukes of Hazzard".

Adios, David.

PS Sorry, my Bold is stuck.

Pixie15 · ‎12-08-2013

Hi Chin Up,

I think it is normal to worry about dying if you think about it. It would seem that mostly I avoid thinking about it. I can remember the first time I really worried about dying as a teenager. I had been raised religious but lying in bed one night I was overcome with fear. I could just not envision anything past death. There was only darkness. After that I needed a distraction to get myself to sleep, reading, radio, counting things etc. Then after awhile I started thinking I may as well just enjoy myself because everyone over 35 seemed miserable anyway. Obviously this is not true but it made me feel better at the time. It broke the negative thinking. Peace, Chris.

Teacher9 · ‎20-08-2013

Its not usually until someone dies close to us, when question or wonder about death.

I seriously think there is nothing for you to worry about, because when it happen, what will be will be. It is usually those left behind who do the worrying and grieving which is the bad part.

Try not to focus on dying, if you have beliefs this can be reassuring. I'm not religious but believe we leave our bodies and our spirit goes and joins loved ones on the other side. This can be reassuring to know we go to a place where no one is in pain and a place that is pretty cool.

Maybe read some books or google beliefs.. i found reading about life after death experiences reassuring and when a elderly person has passed around me, i feel reassured they are meeting their loved ones and moving like a youngin again lol,bit harder when younger people die but still knowing they are pain free is nice.

The_Real_David_Charles · ‎21-08-2013

Dear S.A.D.

Your post suggested writing an essay about death and it's impact. Pondering on the writing. Digesting the threat.

If one is contemplating death then there's a good chance your mind won't be too analytical or into essays ! A good talk with a friend or counsellor is one way to alleviate the negativity. Another is to do something you value.

If you even take cutting your nails as an example. Would a suicidal person be able to cut off the intense distress if they took 2 mins to cut their own nails ? Seriously. Would one small task of humble domesticity break the awful thinking and give a window of opportunity to get away from such diabolical thoughts ?

Adios, David.

PS Movies often use peer pressure to stop suicide. There is a penchant for the line "Then you'll have to kill me too". Thankfully most people don't want to harm another whilst they are contemplating harming themselves. Why is this ?

Luke_Hugo · ‎13-09-2013

Hi,

I had recently read an article about the effect of death on a person's behaviour. Yes, it can have negative effects, but it can also make you aware of what is important. I have had that thought run through my head once or twice and it sent a shiver down my spine while turning my stomach.I am still young, so it is natural to be scared of death. I am not religious, but i do believe in God, so it comforts me a little. just take what you believe in and dedicate your life to it.

Ponder · ‎18-09-2013

Indeed ... interesting to read peoples responses here. Since giving up religion I seem less afraid of Death, as the fear itself seems more taught than natural. I now look at it as nothing more than a cycle with a limited number of events lefts that will inevitably lead to extinction and that being a cycle in it's self.

I can identify with the emotions SAD mentions above when thinking on Mankind and the LIFE it lives on this planet. I think the reality is that the frilly little dresses and down trodden ants of which they speak are a mixture that will see mankind's end as opposed to comforting oneself with the notion that life goes on.

I mean not to be a buzz kill here ... after all I do suffer from severe depression as a result of what I see on a daily basis and of course the choices I make.

Death ... what does it mean to me? I have had close family and friends Die. I was hard to deal with and Life went from the happy families so often painted on the television screens to plastic families that aspire to the live the life so commonly sold via TV, Radio, Internet, Billboards, and so on ...

I guess everything became so trivial and meaningless ... Bit like when a child discovers what the real world can be like, but 10 fold when you begin to unlearn for a second time later in life. It's a hole new problem in itself I guess ...

So in this light, I believe Death becomes less daunting and in fact for many a much long drawn out wait to escape the reality of which they live. I'm not condoning opting at, but giving my perspective which unfortunately does not resonate with the positivity so many of us seek.

I fear Life ... Not Death. Of course I fear the act of Dieing .... but not so much the Door I see it to be. Perhaps the unknown of where it may lead, but in that respect all I can think of is Nature and everything Man is not ... as the two together are a stark contrast.

I like to believe somehow we are rehashed in some other part of the universe and in fact understand and marvel at how matter is so recycled and take heart in that alone. What matters is finding what gives us balance and riding as best we can on that alone. I can't take anymore in ... my vessel is pretty much done with Mans preaching of more and more ...

I'm doing my best to simply enjoy what little is left ... For me, Death is simply the end of a very tough lesson and one in which I will take comfort that brings a sense of peace ... one way or the other.

Again ... It's Life I am having trouble with ... but alas ... Understanding Death ... can help one with the other...

Just my 2 cents ... I like finding in by learning from the down trodden ant ... 🙂

Take care all.
Dave

FacePalmDodger · ‎31-01-2015

Hey

I have existential death anxiety, and i will start to think about the end, the end of my life, the one thing that is basically certain. It is the worst thing, i will start thinking about it (Usually in bed or the shower or a time i get to think) and i will like shutdown, i start screaming, crying and jumping about. It doesn't stop. My heart starts racing, breathing gets heavy. I don't believe in the afterlife, But i do hope there is. Is there anyone with help for this. I would prefer if you have beaten it yourself because you understand the pain i go through.

Yours Truly Facepalmdodger

Vegetarian Marshmallow · ‎01-05-2015

Only one part of you will be gone - the part that looks at things. The part that takes actions it believes in is still very much alive, in the form of ideas spread to others while your body was alive. When your daughter holds the door open for the person behind her, she is using your hand. When the erstwhile drug addict you gave support to, helps another in turn, he is using your heart. This part of you that watches things, routinely turns itself off anyway, such as when you have dreamless sleep. So you should be used to it. Every moment of the day, you are dead to a trillion trillion perspectives already. When you are paying attention to the clock on the wall, you are not paying attention to the rice cooking on the stove. You are dead to the stove. You are dead to the cars outside. You are dead to a leaf falling off a tree in China. You are dead to the TV programme playing three houses over. You are dead to the experience of making love to a woman in Spain right now. You are dead to the university lecture on mathematics which is happening right now. Are those death states scary? Bodily death will just be one more.

What will happen when you die? What part in particular gives you the most anxiety? Is it purely what awaits you on the other side that frightens you? Is there something that you want to have done before you die? Will something catastrophic happen to your family if you die? I think these kinds of questions are what you should consider in getting to the root of why you have this anxiety.