Scared of doing something wrong

[buglove]

I have had anxiety for a long time. I am constantly worried that I am going to or have made a mistake that will ruin my life in one way or another. For example, I have trouble driving because I keep telling myself that I will hit a car and for some reason my insurance will be invalid and then I will be paying off a debt for my whole life and my life will be ruined. I’m feeling alone and helpless as I don’t know anyone who experiences the same thing. It impacts my life everyday and I am scared to do anything. I feel an unreasonable amount of guilt at all times and constantly am worried about getting told off or someone not liking me, even though I am an adult and shouldn’t care that much. I would love someone to let me know I am not alone. And if anyone has any tips on how to get over catastrophising and experiencing extreme guilt. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Yes, I've had that mindset as well and in my case it stemmed from my mother that was domineering and instilled guilt and anxiety into me at a young age.

Then at 31yo it all came to a head with a breakdown that led to therapy and that treatment eventually removed all that completely.

The best advice I got from my therapist was when he asked me what happened over the last week. I told him I worried that I'd lose my job, that I'd crash my car (same as you) and that the builders would stop building our house. He said to me "do you think all those intrusive thoughts are realistic"?  I froze then replied "no".

So when we catastrophise situations or make them up, ask yourself "is that realistic". If the answer is "no" then you move onto the actions that help remove those thoughts.

Try this- next time you get an unrealistic thought do a physical activity like- walk around the block, do 20 pieces of a jigsaw (I used to have one set up in a spare room), wash the car, watch a movie... this method of distraction eventually becomes automatic.  Once I walked around the block and helped a old lady lift her shopping bags, then noticed colourful birds in a park... by the time I got home my mind was fresh and I was content. So distraction is a great tool.

Anxiety is a serious illness often leading to depression. To rid yourself of anxiety is not easy, it takes a combination of professional treatment including meds if prescribed, relaxation techniques daily and life changes like eliminating debts over the medium term and removing toxic people from our lives. Changes can result in a relaxed life and I am such an example of a happy man having done all that above.

Here is a few posts that you can benefit from.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/guilt-the-tormentor/td-p/321604

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/saying-no-to-the-unhelpful-thoughts/td-p/108929

Reply anytime

TonyWK

[Guest_28285472]

Hi

I had to make an account to respond to this post. I have the exact same worry and have had it for the past 15 years or so. Now my child is old enough to drive I worry I will ruin their life in the same way. Most of my anxieties are similar - ie. a mistake on a document that ruins my life or someone else’s. I have no answers but you are not alone and thank you for showing me I am not alone and not “crazy”

[Ellaminowpea]

Hiya! I've had the exact same problem as you. I feel years ago I went to a place sorta like an anxiety centre for teens, and that helped me out a lot. Something that helps me out is realistic thinking. How likely is it that a car will serve onto the footpath and hit me? Not likely at all. It's thinking like that that will help you with the catastrophising. And with the guilt, you have to remember that not everything is your fault. If someone doesn't like you, then that's their problem, not yours. I hope this helps 🙂

-M.N.

[white knight]

Thankyou for posting and welcome 

As we can see, catastophising is more common than we think and this unrealistic thinking process usually needs therapy as I had to overcome it. 

It all starts with a GP visit and referrals. I hope you enjoy the forum

TonyWK