Scared and so unwell

[Lisa_18]

Hello, I am in a really low spot. I have bipolar, depression PTSD, anxiety. Now i look back on things I think i have been out of control for the last couple of months. I have spent all our money, i have got secret credit cards my husband doesnt know and maxed them all out and we have no money. I feel awful but i started joining dating apps and have been meeting up with people for casual sex. I normally dont have a big sex drive but the last month I cant stop thinking about it. I feel like im addicted to the apps. I keep deleting them and then install them again. I know I am being very unsafe. I also purchased some pain relief medication from someone which is opiod based and now i can not stop taking them. If i dont have one every few hours i feel horrible and start sweating. my life is crazy, my husband doesnt know and im to scared to tell him.

[Sophie_M]

Hi there, Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing what you’re going through. It sounds like the last couple of months have been incredibly overwhelming, and we can hear how distressed and out of control you’re feeling right now. Living with bipolar disorder, depression, PTSD and anxiety is already a lot to carry, and it makes sense that everything you’ve described would feel frightening and confusing. 

I hope you don’t mind us getting in touch with you., We are reaching out over email to offer you some additional support.  It also sounds like you’ve been dealing with some really strong impulses and behaviours that are very different from what you’d normally experience. Many people find this can be linked to changes in mood, stress, or feeling unwell, and none of this means you’ve failed or that you’re beyond help. You’re not alone in this, and reaching out today was a really strong and important step. We’re also really concerned to hear how much pressure you’re under with money, the secrecy you’re managing, and the recent reliance on medication. Coping with all of this on your own would be incredibly hard for anyone, and you deserve support with it. We’d really like to talk with you directly so we can support you through this and explore some options together. If you feel comfortable, please reach out to our Support Service on 1300 22 4636 or via webchat here Get support - Beyond Blue - Beyond Blue. Our counsellors are here to listen without judgment and help you navigate what’s happening right now. If at any point you feel you’re in immediate danger or can’t keep yourself safe, please contact 000 straight away. We’re really glad you posted here today. The community is here for you, and you don’t have to manage this alone.

Kind Regards Sophie M

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Hello - I just wanted to say that I am sorry for all you are going through. It sounds like you are going through such a difficult time. Calling the Beyond Blue Helpline or Lifeline could be helpful. Please call 000 if you are in danger of hurting yourself. Also making a long appointment with your GP could be helpful. They can help you get back on track by managing medications and referring you for psychological support.

While things are very difficult now, they won’t always be this way. You can take steps to make things better one step at a time. Try to be kind to yourself and realize that your actions were done when you weren’t well. You have identified this and are now reaching out for help which takes courage. 

[ViolettaZ]

Hi Guest_79856115,

Thank you so much for trusting us with something so personal. It takes a great deal of courage to speak so honestly about what you’re going through.

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’ve been feeling extremely overwhelmed and out of control, which must be incredibly frightening and exhausting. Experiences like this can happen when mental health symptoms intensify, and you’re not alone in facing them.

I agree with Sophie that seeking professional support as soon as possible, and helping them fully understand your situation, will be an important step in making sure you receive the right help and stay safe.

You’ve already taken a very important first step, and that alone shows how brave you are. I hope that, step by step, things can begin to move toward a safer and better place.

Please know that you’re always welcome to come back and share more here whenever you need support:)

Warm regards🤗

ViolettaZ