Weight loss surgery and the Mind Body connection

[Bellalilly]

Hi all

I've recently had gastric bypass surgery after many years of research and trying the natural way of diet and exercise. I'm 54 now and wish I had done it sooner as I find it hard to breathe therefore exercise is hard. Mobility is hard. Everything is hard. From the moment I get up to the minute I lay down at night.

My depression and anxiety stems a lot from being made too responsible for too much from a young age through till now - caring for everyone else at the expense of myself like a martyr. I'm the middle child of seven and never felt loved or valued by my family except for what I could do for them. I then transferred this self-worth to my professional and social life resulting in DV in the workplace, doing all the hard stuff and getting none of the credit. No promotions, underpaid and taken advantage of.

I never realised how bad depression could be AFTER weight loss surgery. I didn't expect to be thin straight away and I already had anxiety depression before the surgery for the last 30 years so knew it would be hard. I don't know what this Mind Body connection is and it's scary. BUT I'm on the journey to discover what it means to me and my health. Anyone else can relate?

[ViolettaZ]

Hi Guest_89049375,

Thank you so much for sharing your story so openly. What you’ve described sounds incredibly heavy, and it makes a lot of sense that you’re feeling the way you do.

It really stands out how much responsibility you’ve carried from a young age. When this pattern continues into adulthood, it can affect work and relationships, where you find yourself constantly sacrificing for others without receiving the recognition or reward you deserve in return.

The mind–body connection is a two-way relationship, where the mind influences the body and the body influences the mind. So weight loss surgery itself can intensify anxiety and depression, and this can be even more challenging when you’ve been living with these mental health struggles for a long time. The mind–body connection can feel confronting and even frightening when it begins to surface in new ways, but your curiosity and willingness to explore what it means for you is an important step. I find practices like meditation helpful in easing anxiety and low mood. Gentle music or slow, calming sounds supportive as well. It’s okay to explore what feels right for you.

It sounds like this journey isn’t just about physical health, but also about slowly learning to put yourself first and redefining your worth beyond caring for others or pushing yourself to exhaustion.

That’s not easy work, especially after decades of doing the opposite.

Take care, and please remember you’re not alone:)

Wram regards🤗

ViolettaZ

[trying_my_best]

Hi Bellalilly, 

I can relate to a few of these struggles. I am the eldest of 4 children (I have a big sage gap between me and my younger 2 siblings), and I can relate to becoming too responsible from a young age. I also see how this can bring about negative feelings regarding your self worth as well, as I have also struggled with this. In fact I still feel I struggle with this, especially with regards to my weight as when I was younger I was always quite thin but for the past few years I have gained a bit of weight and had a few weight fluctuations that have made me feel negative towards myself. 

I am fortunate enough to be studying a psychology degree, where I have had a lecturer who specialises in such things as our relationship to food. The best way I can describe the mind body connection is that what inputs you give to your body they result in an output in your mind, and visa-versa. For example, if you go for a walk, you may be able to reflect on some negative feelings but you also get a dopamine boost from the activity, you may come back from the walk feeling refreshed and happy. 
OR (this is one I often experience)

When I eat take out for long periods of time, I may feel what I call a hangover effect, which in turn makes me feel gross then affecting my mindset because I may feel guilty for buying takeout a few times in one week rather than cooking.

Here is a resource from the Mental Health Foundation Australia that may be able to describe things more eloquently than I can. 
https://www.mhfa.org.au/mind-body-connection#:~:text=The%20mind%2Dbody%20connection%20is,symptoms%20....

and here is a tedtalk: 

https://youtu.be/awtmTJW9ic8?si=A5hEXaoxDmSICbic

I hope these resources can help

you in your journey to understand more in regards to the mind body connection. I know that for me in my journey with self worth, understanding the mind body connection has been really helpful!