Hi all,
I work in technology sales and have struggled with debilitating anxiety for over 15 years. It's a field where you are expected to be fearless, confident and tackle challenges. I recently started a new job which is intense and everyone is extremely confident and extroverted. The company is all about raising the bar, and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. I have always had an overwhelming sense of dread when it comes to my job. I don't fit the sales mould - I am introvert, hate networking, hate social events, and like to stay in my comfort zone.
A few years ago when I came out of university I landed in tech sales and was asked to do a presentation at a conference in my first 2 months. I suffocated with fear, had sleepless for weeks in the lead up. On the day my mouth was dry, I felt dizzy with fear, felt like I couldn't breathe and rushed through my 1 hour long presentation in 15 minutes. It was one of the most humiliating days of my life.
Today, I still think back to that incident. I still suffer from debilitating anxiety and with my new job I have training coming up next week. Part of that training is the most dreaded thing I have encountered in my life "Sales Role Plays" which are done in front of a group. I have been losing sleep over this, neglecting my 12 week old child, and feeling overwhelmed with what I will be faced with next week. I have low confidence, and everyone else makes these things look easy with their confidence. In the past I have avoided things like this by pretending I was sick, or simply not showing up to activities that involve presenting or role playing.
I am struggling to cope. I am having thoughts about quitting my new job already and am feeling overwhelmed, stressed and anxious beyond belief. This weekend is going to be a nightmare for me as I count down to the dreaded training starting on Monday as if I am counting down my last days on death row.
Is there anyone who can help?
