A warm welcome to you, especially at such a challenging time filled with so much sadness. I'm so glad you've come here to a place where you'll find people who can relate to how overwhelming life can feel at times. Finding people who can relate is, I believe, so much more helpful than finding a lot of people who simply say 'Stop focusing on it and just get on with life'. Technically, such a dismissive statement doesn't hold any compassion, constructive plan for change or a way forward. Such a statement can lead to such a sense of loneliness.
There can be so many factors in life that can alter our state of consciousness, when it comes to what we can become fully conscious of. If I'm not conscious of the suffering going on in the world, all I need to do is watch or read the news and then I'll become conscious of people's suffering. If I'm not conscious of crime in the city in which I live, if you lead me to become conscious of it then I'll suffer through what I come to know. The list goes on in regard to all the things in life that we can feel as being depressing. And then we can start to become conscious of our own pain, to top it all off. I've found being sensitive has 2 sides to it. On the bright side we can sense high end emotions, such as joy, inspiration, a soulful sense of life etc. On the dark side of the sensitivity coin, there is the ability to sense sufferance, injustice and all of those types of emotions. So, we can feel whatever it is we have become fully conscious of. A highly conscious deeply feeling person can suffer greatly. A far less conscious and unfeeling person rarely suffers. You could say your level of sufferance defines you as being a deeply feeling soulful person who suffers greatly though heightened states of awareness.
An altered state of consciousness can feel like an impossible achievement at times. To come out of being conscious of and feeling everything that's depressing can feel impossible but it can be done. I've found it's far more easily done with the right guides in life. The best guides can become leaders in life who can lead us to begin to perceive new things or perceive old issues in new ways. I'm wondering whether you've got anyone in your life who is a key guide for you, someone who can unlock the way forward at such an incredibly challenging time in your life.
