Rusty

[Rusty]

I am dealing with depression, anxiety and loneliness. I am working on connecting with other people and just visited a neighbour and had a nice chat and felt quite good, but I came home and began to feel lonely again. I’m curious to know if anyone has had this happen to them or felt this way and maybe some tips to overcome this?

[Rusty]

Hi Rustyswingset

Thanks for listening, it is certainly as much physical as it is mentally challenging, it is a desire to be heard too.

[randomxx]

Going through a lot of it at where l've just moved to 4mths ago here. l can't even explain the nights, l've never felt it before in my life like this.

But there's been this stray cat, really nice little cat to been so tempting to take that in buttttt, saw it hunting birds the other day and that was it.

l love birds but they disappear anytime that cats anywhere near the place so no can do.

Bit of a shame , reckon strays can make some of the best pets but thinking l might get a dog instead.

rx

[Rusty]

I’m curious to know what other people do, especially when like me in the evening with time to relax, to distract themselves or deal with anxiety and loneliness. I love to know how to ease the way I feel.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Rusty,

I am an aged pensioner, home all day and night on my own…no family around me…except for my 2 fur girls (dogs)…who keep me company….

Mostly of a night I play some internet word games, watch TV…I’m very selective on what I’m able to watch due to triggers taking me back to times I don’t want to remember….

When I go to bed, I always listen to a gentle sleep story, or the online bible… listening to someone reading to me, helps me to feel not so alone I used to have hobbies, but unfortunately depression has ruined them for me…no motivation or want to do them anymore….I also pop onto these forums most night to try to support others who are struggling with m/h and other things…

Not sure if I’ve been of any help at all….

My kindest thoughts Dear Rusty, 

Grandy..

[Rustyswingset]

Hi randomxx, If you do want a dog that's more cat-like, tibetan spaniels are weirdo cat-like dogs if you want to look into that. It sucks the wildlife is being hurt by the stray cat though. Maybe you could visit a shelter, even if you don't get a pet visiting animals to cuddle them feels really nice.

[Doors24]

Hi Rusty,

Being alone at night, people wise, I spend it in my room. My small elderly dog goes to sleep quite early, so to keep myself company, I do have TV on in the background if I am surfing the internet. Or I watch a series or a movie. If I am watching a series, I can get 2 to 3 episodes watched. I also journal if I remember and not too tired.

 I generally go to sleep with a sleep sound machine on. It has sounds like alpha and delta waves that make it easier to sleep. Or I put the TV on for some noise in the background. Neighbours is generally what I put on with a sleep timer. The content doesn’t upset me with anything emotionally, so I am able to go off to sleep listening to voices.

 I also don’t have hobbies. My old ones take too much motivation to do and sometimes association to things that really upset me.

My room is my safe zone, so I have comfy cushions and blankets that make my space cozy. And makes it a welcoming place to be in. Between 8pm and midnight is my favourite time of the whole day. Everything is quiet in the house and I can do what I like and not have to deal with difficult people or stressful appointments. I embrace and acknowledge that freedom. If it rains it brings a bigger sense of freedom. The world comes down to my space.

But most importantly I keep to a routine. I am not spontaneous and like to keep to a rhythm. My anxiety doesn’t like stress at night. Sleep will be bad if I haven’t done everything I need to before bed.

I think journaling is a great habit to get into. You can download your thoughts and feelings into a notebook and get them out of your head and mind. You can draw pictures too if you don’t like to write too much. It is like talking to someone without judgements and allows you to sometimes solve small issues by seeing them all in front of you. It can also help show your interests, your personality and your traits, that may help you identify things you want to do or hobbies to try at night. It can help to show you what kind of person you already are and what you can offer to others in this world. I can throw it into the recycling bin when I am finished with it.

 I think I want to try photography more. And I want to make friends in my life. So maybe I can try a photography group and meet some friends there. I also want my elderly dog to have a good end to their days. So it makes me recognise that I need to get them outside more. A walk in nice places and memories I will keep with them in my heart.

Perhaps you might like to try that.

Doors24

[G79]

Dear Rusty, What you need is a relaxing hobby so something that's that you don't have to over exert yourself. I find just sitting there with a rod by the water Can be very relaxing for me even if I don't catch anything because you're sitting there. Trying to catch you know the big fish to brag about and the next thing you know few hours have gone past and you haven't even realised how quick time has gone. I would go before work. Obviously lures so I don't stink when I get to work of bait. But yeah, just to have a quick flick after not being able to sleep. He just clears the mind or after work to clear the mind before I go home to the chaotic family that feels like a UFC octagon at times. You just need to find that something here is one that I did for a while, but if I ended up getting a little too obsessive about it and it can be quite expensive hobby, the more you get into it is aquascaping. It's basically fish tanks that you set up a certain way to make it look like a a picture-esque ecosystem. But as I said he can start off pretty basic. But the more you get into it you just want a better looking plans. The better stones, the better aquasoil or gravel or Driftwood but a type of fish in. Then you want to add another type of fish but you can't add them to that. Building a second tank and a second tank becomes a third tank but if you got the the money to to spend that was a great hobby

[Rusty]

Hi 

Thanks for the replies, there is some good thoughts there. I think the idea of having, a relaxing hobby that distracts me from the loneliness and negative thoughts.

[Rusty]

Just thought I’d check in as the evening anxiety and loneliness has crept in again. Just have that longing for connection but feel so alone. Just thought if I chatted about how I felt when the anxiety happened it might actually help me understand it a bit better and maybe cheer me up 

[Rusty]

Just to add to my post, I do feel like it’s so hard to find anything to cheer me up or distract me from my anxiety when I don’t know when of if I’ll ever have someone close enough to talk about how  I feel. I think that’s the hardest part, not knowing, even when I know I’m doing the right things