Resolving the Negative?

[sagebrush]

Hi all.

My question is this: People who have had horrible things happen to them in their lives, How do you actually get over it?

I know I am lucky to be alive. I know that I am better off than people in third world countries. I know I am fortunate to have a roof over my head.

I am greatful for all the basic things in my life. I am at a point where I am relatively stable with my anxiety/depression. But the past 30 years have just been one horrible situation after another, is there really light at the end of the tunnel?

I know my life is also dotted with awesome things, and happy things, but the negative of the past haunts so prominently, that it detracts from everyday life.

Its been 1 year since the absolutely most horrible thing that I thought that would never happen, happened, but situations just keep coming up that bring me down. I try to have hope for the future, but then something reminds me that there is no point having hope. Life has been a daily struggle for most of my life, why would this suddenly change? How can I make this change when the things that happen are out of my control?

[sagebrush]

Well after all these years of having anxiety, It seems that I may have got a handle on things.

Life isn't as bad as it could be, I guess that is the positive here.

I just realised. There is no point.

And while life has thrown is usual and unusual amount of crap at me. Somehow, none of it is sticking anymore.

I stayed off my meds for a solid month, but recently went back on 1 just to keep calm for a couple of days. I found that anger has replaced a lot of my anxiety. At least I can vent and control my anger in healthy ways.

I think the feeling of helplessness and anger just grew and grew and grew into panic/anxiety/depression, and is now reverting back the other way. Back into anger, but this time I am going to make sure that I am proactive, and I fight for myself and my rights, and my life.

Thanks for listening to my story. Cheers.