Relationship anxiety

[Teisha]

Has anyone else ever felt stuck?

im in a relationship that I know can’t go anywhere. I’ve been with my partner 6 years, however we don’t want the same things in life (children, marriage etc).

I always think about ending it, however every time one of us has tried to break it off, I spiral into an out of control panic attack that doesn’t stop until I cave in a beg to be back in the relationship. I can’t stop vomiting, I feel like fainting, can’t get off the bathroom floor, I hyperventilate and no matter what I try it just doesn’t stop.
I went to a gp and got anti-depressants, which has helped with my everyday anxiety, however not with this. I guess I’m just feeling at a loss

has anyone else been in a situation like this?

[SarahZ]

Hi Teisha,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out - it's really courageous of you! Firstly, I want to say great job on taking the initiative and going to the GP and seeking some assistance. That's usually always the hardest step so well done! 🙂

In regards to your relationship, I'm really sorry you are experiencing this. Relationships can bring us some much joy but can also make us experience great pain at times. I can actually relate quite a bit to your post - I just got out of a four year relationship two weeks ago. Similar to you, I felt the relationship was so stagnant. I felt it was going nowhere as we both wanted different things in the future (i.e., same as you children, marriage etc). Definitely didn't mean it was easy ending it. We had been quite on and off and I also had a pattern of caving in whenever we ended. I feel relationships are so complex and unique - no single relationship dynamic is the same so it's quite hard to give really specific advice. I guess what really helped me is 1) really reflecting on what I wanted in the future and if I was willing to completely compromise my future goals for someone else 2) having a really strong support system the entire time. I've really relied on my sibling and best friends during this time. It's great to just have people you can talk /vent/cry to and not feel alone. Personally, I always caved back into the relationship as the transition from talking to someone everyday and then having that taken away was so drastic it was really hard to cope with. I guess after being in a relationship for so long your partner can feel somewhat like a safety net? You feel most comfortable and safe with them since you've been with them for so long. So inevitably once you get rid of that safety net you feel alone and lost, which is completely understandable. Hence, why I've found it really helpful just surrounding myself with family to not only talk to but keep my mind off things.

Is your partner really adamant on what he wants in the future? is he willing to compromise even the slightest for you?

Please keep us updated Teisha if you feel up to it 🙂

Hope you're feeling better x sending you plenty of positive thoughts!