Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder

[KMF]

Struggling today.

I was diagnosed with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder last year (it took over 20 years to really narrow down what was happening).

The anxiety I’m experiencing today is difficult. I am constantly having thoughts that I’m not good enough and questioning my existence in this world. 

Managing this chronic health condition (the main symptoms are depression and anxiety) is taking its toll. I’m currently on a waiting list to see a PMDD specialist - I’ve been on this list for almost two years. 

I just needed to reach out today to vent. Thanks for reading my post. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm sorry its taken so long for someone to respond. The topic might have been seen as unfamiliar to many of us as we are peer advisors, people with lived experience, not professional medical staff.

How are you feeling several days after posting? Two years is a long time, can you contact them and ask for an update. Sometimes people get lost in the system.

I have a few threads below, I hope they help, let me know eh.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-motivation/td-p/149708

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

TonyWK

[Eagle Ray]

Hi KMF,

I just wanted to send support and acknowledge the struggle you are having. I’ve been going through something that may be similar. It’s not PMDD but strong anxiety and depression linked to perimenopause, so still hormonal and very destabilising. So I know the awful feelings that can accompany severe hormonal dysregulation. I’ve been struggling with feelings of worthlessness and questioning the point of my existence, so I relate very much to what you write.

 I have complicating factors of complex trauma so I think any existing struggles can just get magnified by the emotional intensity from the hormonal imbalance. I’m finding reaching out to others who are understanding is very important and helpful. I’ve called helplines just to talk to someone several times. Are there people you feel you can talk to? It’s great you have reached out here.

 I really hope you can get some specialist support soon. There may be online support groups for PMDD which may offer some ideas too. In my case I have a liver condition which limits the options of medical treatments I can use, so I’m having to look at what other resources I can find and keep researching it.

Feel free to chat here anytime as just communicating with others can help to alleviate the intensity of strong feelings and being hard on yourself, and give you some validation that your existence is absolutely worthwhile.

Take care and happy to chat if you need/want to.

[KMF]

Thank-you for your reply. I’m sorry to hear that you are experiencing something similar.

Yes I sometimes attend a PMDD support group that is organised through IAMPD. It has been very helpful. Thank-you for reminding me of that as it is probably time to reach out to the support group again.

All the best for your day 😊

[KMF]

Thanks for your reply and the suggested threads.

Yes I have contacted them multiple times and there is a massive waiting list. 

I am feeling a bit lighter since posting. Thank-you 😊

[Stace37]

While I know you’re probably feeling back to your normal self, I just wanted to reach out to let you know you’re not alone.

Ive been diagnosed for a year as well, while getting a diagnosis helped me understand why things were happening doesn’t make it any easier.

next month, deep breaths, remember to reach out to your support system and remember it will pass (easier said than done, I know)

[Stace37]

I’m not sure why I’m writing, some form of reassurance and support perhaps 🤷‍♀️

Ive been diagnosed with PMDD for a year, but have suffered for approximately 12 years since the birth of my youngest child. While getting a diagnosis helped me understand why things were happening doesn’t make it any easier.

i was convinced today that my relationship was doomed, that we were over and did my best to push my partner away.

this condition is hard and makes no sense, i am medicated and yet still have some months like this where i can’t see my worth, convince myself that im useless and better off not here.

some days like today im not sure how to get through it, i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel, because once the initial argument has been had I am then left with the guilt and repercussions of what was said, of creating an argument out of nothing, some of which i cant even remember.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Stace37,

Just wanted to send you some support. I really empathise as I’m now going through major hormonal upheavals in relation to perimenopause. I can relate to the out of control emotions and the feeling of the condition just making no sense. I am finding my sense of reality is altered and I feel like I lose all my normal coping mechanisms and sense of balance and groundedness. I normally have really good impulse control and I now find myself acting in compulsive ways that are totally not normal for me.

Have you been able to share with your partner how you are being affected, what it feels like when you are in those states? I am thinking it will help them understand better what is happening for you and know it is just a major hormonal disturbance and that the real you is still there underneath.

 I have been listening to a podcast by a menopause specialist Dr Louise Newson and a woman she interviewed was speaking about the hormonal upheaval she went through after having her baby. It is like events that impact hormones can become extremely dysregulating for some women and it can be quite hard finding the right support for those experiences.

 I am thinking there will be online support groups for PMDD specifically. I just had a look at apps and I can see there are some symptom tracker apps. You may be using one already and some may be better than others, but just thought I’d mention it in case that’s helpful. I’m using an app now in relation to perimenopause, but of course when you feel your worst it can be actually hard to even engage with such things. I’m trying to stick with mine so I can at least see patterns down the track.

 I hope you are feeling a bit better today. I know it is truly horrible at times. But I think knowing you will have times you feel better again is important and always reaching out for support whenever you need it. I’ve called helplines quite a lot over the past few weeks just to talk to someone. Know that you are an important, valuable human being and try not to be hard on yourself. Take good care and feel free to express what you are going through anytime if it helps. Best wishes,

Eagle Ray

[Cellone]

Hi Eagle Ray,

I dont mean to hyjack the post but it seems you've got a familiar story to me. I suffer severely with perimenopause and was told today that due to a sensitive liver and several bad past reactions to antidepressants that my doctor won't prescribe me antidepressants again. Granted my regular doctor is on holidays and the doctor (at the same clinic) wasn't willing to give me a script for anything to support my mood and symptoms. It felt like I'd been totally abandoned by the medical profession. He said I just had to find alternative ways to manage my mood and symptoms.

I felt sorry for myself for about 30 minutes but then angry I hadn't been directed to any alternatives and that was enough to get myself motivated to march down to the chemist and talk to the pharmacist. They were lovely and helped me decide on a herbal supplement and some probiotics to start. I took my first tablets this evening and will see how I go. I will be going to see my doctor to update her when she returns in the new year though. Hopefully by that time I'm feeling much better.

😊C

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Cellone,

It's such a disturbing experience isn't it! I wasn't expecting it to be this difficult. I can understand feeling abandoned by the medical profession. My sense so far is there is limited understanding of the anxiety/depression side of perimenopause. I have an autoimmune liver disease so I have limitations about what I can take as well. I'm about to see the GP so I'm going to ask him about hormone therapy. Listening to Dr Louise Newson's podcasts many of the women she has interviewed say it is what really helped their anxiety/depression. I know I can't do the oral form of it because of my liver, and I will need to check with my liver specialist about the patches. I think some women end up on hormone therapy plus antidepressants, and some just on the hormone therapy. From what I've read and listened to so far, it sounds that antidepressants alone often don't work for perimenopausal depression. I did read something about an Australian researcher, Jayashri Kulkarni, who mentions a particular antidepressant outside the usual ones that can be more helpful in perimenopause, but I can't mention the name here as we can't name specific medications. However, if your liver is sensitive you would have to look into whether it is ok. I can't post links here but she does have an article online called "Perimenopausal depression - an unrecognised entity". Hopefully it is ok with the moderators if I mention that. Some of her advice contradicts Dr Louise Hewson's advice. I am trying to read and learn as much as I can. It is hearing the stories of women who have really improved that I am taking encouragement from.

I really hope you get some help with the herbal supplement and probiotics. I was trying a herbal supplement but learned of an issue specific to my liver disease and how oestrogen receptors are affected in it that meant it was probably better for me to stop it. The supplement increased the number of oestrogen receptors which can already be overabundant in the disease I have, even if the actual oestrogen is low which mine is. I felt like it helped a bit but I didn't take it for very long. I think probiotics can be helpful generally. There is so much more awareness now that balancing the gut helps us in so many ways.

I really hope you feel better soon. Hopefully when your regular doctor is back they can maybe discuss things more with you about it and look at options. Take good care as I know what a rollercoaster it is. Happy to chat anytime if it helps. We can always start a seperate thread if worried about taking over KMF's thread. There do seem to be some similarities with PMDD in terms of the mental health impact.

Best wishes,
ER