My heart goes out to you so much as you long to make a much deeper connection with your son at such an incredibly trying time in your life.
I know it's easy to say but try not to be too hard on yourself while you face a number of challenges you've never faced before. First time challenges can be so intense while there's no past experience for us to reference as a guide. I think the next best thing comes down to 1)either finding people/guides who have had the same or a similar kind of experience and/or 2)researching as much as possible in order to hit on the thing we're desperately searching for.
While I imagine a dermatologist has suggested all the usual suspects for eczema flare ups, it can't hurt to wonder about some of the unusual suspects. I say this based on my own experience with eczema, from childhood through to my early 20s. I grew out of eczema, by the way. Not all topical solutions are created equal. While a certain type of ointment was my saviour during those years and took away that burning sensation, the cream version of that cortisone ointment made it so much worse. While some folks said it was my imagination, one doctor said 'It's not unusual for people to have that reaction to the cream'. Goes to show, all depends on which people you speak to. So, one question (on your quest to make a difference to your son) could be 'Am I receiving the right guidance?'. Doesn't hurt to get a 2nd opinion.
When it comes to researching, I've found it pays to wonder about the latest research. 'The latest research in eczema' is interesting. I had no idea 'til I just Googled it. Of course, the latest research doesn't always point to the best way forward, it's just the latest research. On the other hand, there are traditional treatments going back centuries in certain cultures. Of course, we're not going to experiment on our baby when it comes to the latest research or traditional treatments, it's just about keeping an open mind which can lead us to wonder about a whole range of things, such as 'Does the pain/burning sensation that comes with eczema cause stress, which just inflames things even more?'. Could various stress relief/soothing techniques combined become the way to manage? The most soothing ointment or cream, stress relief massage while rubbing them in, warm oil baths that are not too hot or drying, the most soothing environment as far as temperature and the elements go, the most comfortable clothing, music that's soothing for the nervous system etc etc.
From personal experience as a mum, I can vouch for the fact that our kids can either basically test us or seriously test us. They can test our patience, our problem solving abilities, our devotion, our mental and emotional wellbeing, our sanity at times😬 and a whole lot of other things. They can also test how well we're able to manage our nervous system. As a mum who was deeply depressed when both my babies were born (over 20 years ago), motherhood seriously tested me in a lot of ways. I can honestly say motherhood can test us to develop abilities because without those abilities we can suffer. Btw, maybe you could test your family, pushing them to establish a timeline for when the do eventually get here. This will give you something to look forward to. If they're not working hard to get a visa, they should be (for your sake).❤️
