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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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loulou89 mental health
  • replies: 2

Hi I was have problems with mental health like anxiety tired depressed no happy.. all this happened from one thing I was had a bacteria in stomach Called Helicobacter pylori long time it make all problems for body after I take medicine I feel very gd... View more

Hi I was have problems with mental health like anxiety tired depressed no happy.. all this happened from one thing I was had a bacteria in stomach Called Helicobacter pylori long time it make all problems for body after I take medicine I feel very gd no mental health problems so if u want feel happy don’t share anything from any one and if u have married every couple months check ur stomach

Ms_P Work Stress/ Anxiety
  • replies: 1

I have had IBS for years which work knows about so sometimes I am late to work or have to take extra sick days. I have also recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia (which includes ibs) and also a unknown cysts that could be magliant. My mental heal... View more

I have had IBS for years which work knows about so sometimes I am late to work or have to take extra sick days. I have also recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia (which includes ibs) and also a unknown cysts that could be magliant. My mental health and memory has declined recently and work has noticed it. I have changed my duties and hours to see if it helps. I was supposed to have a procedure a few weeks ago to find out what the cysts are however the hospital cancelled and has rescheduled it in a month. Work has asked me to reschedule it due to staffing issues. This is seriously stressing me out. Can they ask me to reschedule? If I do I would be put at the end of a pretty long list and I need to know what is happening. I am constantly in pain and stress makes it worse and I am not performing at 100% which I normally do. I don't know what to do

StartingOutSlow Life feels overwhelming
  • replies: 3

I started out life with high functioning anxiety and depression, survived that way until I had my first child and post natal depression (6 years ago). These days I feel like I can still present as high functioning to most people, but inside my home a... View more

I started out life with high functioning anxiety and depression, survived that way until I had my first child and post natal depression (6 years ago). These days I feel like I can still present as high functioning to most people, but inside my home and day to day life I am struggling. I lost the high functioning part in my personal life and now people close to me can see the cracks (really just my husband and kids, not that the kids know what they’re seeing). I get the stuff done that is urgent, like the laundry and groceries, the kids are well cared for, my husband is involved in childcare and chores. But whenever I have a moment with no urgent needs I just end up wasting the time – numbing, scrolling my phone. The list of things that need doing seems never ending, and despite wanting to make progress (like fixing a leaking tap or replacing a light globe) I just can’t seem to find the energy to start. It’s like life is overwhelming and the never ending list of things that need to be repeated every day or week is overwhelming. I know I need to improve my self care, but no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to make progress, I don’t get as much sleep as I need, I don’t eat well unless it involves feeding the kids too, I’m not as active as I’d like to be. I know I will feel better if I improve these things, yet I don’t. I also don’t have enough fun in life, mostly because I don’t know how to have fun, I don’t really know what my hobbies are. For the last couple of years I’ve always talked to my psychiatrist and psychologist as though I’m doing okay, yes I have anxiety but a normal level for things that were happening in life, yes I’m tired but I have a baby. To them I would have presented well with good insight. I really did believe I was doing well, but now I’m not so sure. What is a normal level of anxiety or stress? I see my psychiatrist next week, and a new psychologist in 3 weeks, but I’m not even sure how to explain to them what the problem is. I don’t feel like I can articulate it well. It’s like I want to be better but can’t do the things that I need to do to achieve that because I’m working so hard to stay afloat. Has anyone else had this experience? What helped you?

Philip123 Anxiety and Depression because of my situation in my family.
  • replies: 1

This is just me writing it out because I can't talk to anyone about this. Mid 2022, I had a fairly big argument with my mother. My parent's have been divorced for a while so I'm okay with that. My dad has always been in the picture but would never li... View more

This is just me writing it out because I can't talk to anyone about this. Mid 2022, I had a fairly big argument with my mother. My parent's have been divorced for a while so I'm okay with that. My dad has always been in the picture but would never listen to anything that I had to say about my mental health. And my mum was amazing, and she would listen to me, but then she would go on and tell her new partner, my stepdad, and then he would just laugh at me that it made me feel very embarrassed and I ended up not talking to my mother about this anymore. Then, when this argument about all of this happened mid 2022, I eventually ended up moving out in November 2022. Again, my mother wasn't happy with that, but what was I meant to do. Now, I have been living in my own house since November 2022 and looking after my grandmother. I'm not sure what to do because I am in the centre of all arguments in my family. I started that argument with my mother and then everything else in my family just began to crumble. So, I really focused on my work in childcare centre and my study in university and college. I hope this makes sense, but it's very much a rant. But this is my life.

CountingCrows1 DPDR Depersonalisation Derealisation at University
  • replies: 1

This is a rant because I can't tell anyone in my life what I am going through, so I want to write it here. The rant is directed at the teachers who judge me at university, because I occasionally appear a tiny bit abnormal or spaced out. Because I hav... View more

This is a rant because I can't tell anyone in my life what I am going through, so I want to write it here. The rant is directed at the teachers who judge me at university, because I occasionally appear a tiny bit abnormal or spaced out. Because I have DPDR and I am managing my debilitating and frightening symptoms while trying to appear normal in conversation. Masking. Depersonalisation disorder is a hidden illness and it is frustrating to have this through university because I can't tell the teachers about it due to stigma. They think I am 'only suffering from anxiety' and judge me because "they have anxiety too". DPDR fluctuated with stress level. Fact. Imagine being in final year and juggling a lot of competing priorities - it would cause a lot of stress, particularly if there were also life stressors and fatigue involved, correct? So it is logical to suggest that the symptoms of DPDR increase during this time also, making it nearly impossible for me to navigate my studies at no fault of my own. This is NOT my fault and I am tired of teaching staff treating my like I am lazy because I appear normal sometimes, or treating me like I am incompetent because I appear anxious and scattered sometimes. The anxious and scattered version of me is the DPDR me. It is NOT an accurate representation of who I am in the real world, when I don't have all of these stressors happening. It is NOT an accurate representation of my intellect, or my academic capabilities and it is NOT an accurate representation of my attitude towards my degree or the university. I care very much about my degree and my future career. That's a part of the reason why I am so stressed. Because I actually care. I am NOT lazy, incompetent, unstable, slow or stupid. That is the DPDR you are judging, not ME. I have a hidden disability - a legitimate disability! One that makes every day a living hell and I am in SO much pain, trying my best to get through each day and then smile and have conversations with everyone as though I am fine at university. I am not fine. If you only knew what it was like under this high level of symptoms, you would fully understand and be supportive. You would be crying after one day of this hell if you felt it. I can barely function each day right now. If I make it to university I only speak with teachers the whole week. So thanks for discriminating against me and making me feel ridiculous and stupid in the only interactions with people that I can manage to have. Cheers.

plushelephant Anxiety and DPDR help
  • replies: 6

Hi, this is my first post on here. I struggle with DPDR and anxiety, but the past few days I just haven't been able to get over my negative thoughts and existential anxiety. It's like I'm scared to be alive, but also scared to die at the same time. I... View more

Hi, this is my first post on here. I struggle with DPDR and anxiety, but the past few days I just haven't been able to get over my negative thoughts and existential anxiety. It's like I'm scared to be alive, but also scared to die at the same time. I also keep having really intrusive thoughts of 'how am I even alive', 'why do we live', 'what's the point of feeling good'. It's hard to remain positive because I just don't feel real or alive, and I'm scared that I'll never feel better, but then I get scared that I'll feel better and actually have to live my life. Anyways, I guess I just need help with these thoughts because they're making me feel pretty depressed.

Alel Afraid anxiety will stay for the rest of my life.
  • replies: 2

I was diagnosed recently with severe anxiety and depression. I'm scared that no matter how much I overcome my anxiety and depression, it'll still be there. Even if it won't be as bad, just the thought that it'll be there forever, makes me feel broken... View more

I was diagnosed recently with severe anxiety and depression. I'm scared that no matter how much I overcome my anxiety and depression, it'll still be there. Even if it won't be as bad, just the thought that it'll be there forever, makes me feel broken beyond repair. I don't want to spend the rest of my life adjusting to the anxiety and depression to fight it. Fighting it everyday for the rest of my life seems exhausting. I'm also deadly afraid that I won't be able to handle it and go crazy one day. I'm so scared of becoming a lunatic or so messed up. How do I live with this? I don't want to be conscious of it forever that it drives me crazy. Please help.

stell_a178 Feeling Lonely in a Sharehouse
  • replies: 5

I recently moved out of home at 20 into a share house and I’m feeling really lonely. It’s pretty ironic because I left my mums house a week ago because it was a toxic environment, but moving has made me feel even more isolated. I live with 5 other pe... View more

I recently moved out of home at 20 into a share house and I’m feeling really lonely. It’s pretty ironic because I left my mums house a week ago because it was a toxic environment, but moving has made me feel even more isolated. I live with 5 other people and they are insanely quiet. I wake up; silence. I go to bed; silence. It kind of creeps me out a bit, even though I am a shy introverted person, hearing nothing has been freaking me out.It has also made me feel quite lonely, especially on top of being away from my siblings and mother (even if we don’t have the best relationship). I don’t have any friends and now I hardly ever see my family, so I am having a hard time coping. I see a psychologist once a month but it’s becoming too expensive. I don’t know what to do because I’ve already signed a lease and ideally I don’t want to go back to my mothers house. Any advice or support is appreciated.

Jimy Conundrum of Staying
  • replies: 1

Hi All,Sorry for the sulk!Due to my close friendships with 2 close friends in the Quora group, I want to remain anonymous.During our conversation, both of them flagged up red flags that I needed to see a mental health person and take some therapy. I ... View more

Hi All,Sorry for the sulk!Due to my close friendships with 2 close friends in the Quora group, I want to remain anonymous.During our conversation, both of them flagged up red flags that I needed to see a mental health person and take some therapy. I am not certain what caused that feeling based on our discussion.In a nutshell, my wife and I moved to Australia from the UK several years ago and although she has settled in, I am not. I have always wanted to return, however with a few children and a couple of houses, it seems an unrealistic goal to reach. The message I was sending to my friends in both conversations was that I was uneasy here and was unable to see anything positive in what I had accomplished. As a result of the manner in which I presented my topics, I appeared to be negative in my approach, despite being thoughtful and content about my circumstances.In both instances, they advised me to take some time to reflect upon my current situation before making a decision. However, if I leap into seeking assistance, what will be the outcome of that?

justinian_ii Anxiety over a negative experience at work
  • replies: 3

It has been several years since this incident but yet I cannot seem to shake the anxiety and worry that has plagued me since. It all happened a few years ago when I had decided to leave a company I had worked at for over 6 years across two continents... View more

It has been several years since this incident but yet I cannot seem to shake the anxiety and worry that has plagued me since. It all happened a few years ago when I had decided to leave a company I had worked at for over 6 years across two continents. At the time of my resignation I was so elated and happy to leave that toxic environment that in an attempt to be proactive I had made a copy of data to facilitate my handovers (a common practice when I was working for the same company in a different part of the world) and also to retain various sources of personal information that had been stored on the laptop over time due to taxes and etc. This led to a whole complex situation (disciplinary hearings) where I was accused of multiple things, and there were attempts to invalidate my rights to work in Australia. To add to this, they seized my hard drive in question that had my personal data along with the data I had made a copy of to do my hand overs. I had to get lawyers involved and was in the end told to compromise and sign their expectations. In the end, I never actually got to tell my side of the story because they kept changing what they were accusing me off. Since then I have had bad anxiety and sometimes get panic attacks that just stop me from moving forward with my life. I keep conjuring situations in my mind where my previous company is out there just bad mouthing me to everyone and destroying my reputation. Which in my line of work is important because I have to deal with multiple people and build connections.