need someone to talk to about things

[car10001]

hi everyone

wondering how you would be able to find friends and a friend to have meaningful conversations with.

what am wanting is a girl and a friend to have meaningful conversations with about things and am feeling behind.

have worked in hospitality which means worked weekends for 15 years until 2024 when leaving due to sale of business and only had a year to rebuild social side and its not long enough or hasnt been long enough to rebuild.

where as others my age have probably had more time to build their social life because of not working weekends  for as long as me and most have probably moved on by age 25 onto different careers thats closer to monday-friday no weekends/evenings/holidays, where as myself have stayed too long in my old job and some days am wishing that had left old job post lockdown like all the other middle aged and older workers did and not stay as long as have stayed. 

because of that am not way behind where it should have been.

what is a short term solution while continuing to work on a better solution

also how and what could you do to organize a birthday for someone when you dont have many siblings and friends and without becoming a events manager as am not willing to work in hospitality again as done my time in hospitality and it wont be happening again.

also how do you ask for one on one time with your sister for a big birthday when you dont have a female friend or a friend to hang out with.

what could be done for now.

[Sophie_M]

Hello car10001, 

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your feelings with our community. 

Your need for friendship and connection is so incredibly valid. It can be hard to meet those needs when we are busy with work, can't it? 

It seems like being in connection with your sister is really important too, so it would be quite vulnerable feeling like you can't ask for 1-1 time with her. I know that you're not sure how to throw her a big party, but I am wondering, do you need lots of female friends to celebrate or is your presence and care enough?

I know these feelings are overwhelming for you, but I think with a few strategies, you could make some new connections very easily. 😊

I understand that working in hospitality feels like an obstacle because of the shift hours, but I am curious to know what you have tried so far and what else you would like to try, but haven't yet? 

Let's start there and then come up with one thing you can do to try and explore new connections! 

Overall, it would be wonderful if you could discuss this with one of your mental health professionals, because they can guide you even further through this process... and you deserve lots of support here so that you feel confident about making new friends. 

I have no doubt that the right people for you will come along. 💙

Talk soon, 
Sophie M.