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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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ShelterIt Falling apart; abusive neighbour
  • replies: 33

Hi, I live in a small coastal town, lived here for 12 years. 2 years ago a couple moved in next door, both real-estate agents. I'll only mention the man, as I've never talked to his wife. A bit of context here is that I suffer from LPTSD and trauma f... View more

Hi, I live in a small coastal town, lived here for 12 years. 2 years ago a couple moved in next door, both real-estate agents. I'll only mention the man, as I've never talked to his wife. A bit of context here is that I suffer from LPTSD and trauma from having been bullied and abused as a child over many years, and I've got 25 years of therapy trying to have a normal life. I'm still today struggling with social anxiety and I'm painfully conflict shy. I wouldn't dare to try to fix a wrong order at Maccas. After two years of mostly verbal abuse (trees, bushes, our chickens, anything he doesn't like) it culminated last Wednesday with him assaulting me in my driveway (tree dispute where he doesn't like councils' decision). Reported it to the police, of course, but i'm concerned not much will come of that unless he attacks again. I now live in constant fear of waiting for when he'll attack next. The incident last week has left me completely destroyed. My neighbour has always been aggressive and abusive, to everyone in my household and people visiting, to council and others. And now I'm shaking like a leaf, afraid to be in the house, to be outside the house, to come and go, I can't sleep without hefty pills, and I'm on two different anxiety meds just to stay upright. It's been over a week, and I feel I'm losing it. So my question is; what to do next? I've done all the obvious things, police, council, lawAccessNSW, seeing psychologist, GP, but no one can do anything. We've talked about selling, but a) that's hard on the kids, and b) unfair to those we sell it to. Abusive neighbours are perfectly allowed to be abusive, it seems. And I'm running out of strength, this anxiety and the very thought of having to live with this is just so overwhelming. Has anyone had to deal with something like this?

K_Ley where to begin
  • replies: 3

I am just beginning my journey with anxiety and probable depression as well. Have more assessments this week and development of my mental health care plan. This all came about after losing four loved ones in less than 2 years and things started to fa... View more

I am just beginning my journey with anxiety and probable depression as well. Have more assessments this week and development of my mental health care plan. This all came about after losing four loved ones in less than 2 years and things started to fall apart at work. Feeling scared and vulnerable right now.

Richju Anxiety after job interview
  • replies: 11

Although I gained my counselling qualifications last year, I haven't had much work in private practice and would like to work for an organisation before my skills dwindle. On Friday I had an online interview, where the questions come up on the screen... View more

Although I gained my counselling qualifications last year, I haven't had much work in private practice and would like to work for an organisation before my skills dwindle. On Friday I had an online interview, where the questions come up on the screen and you are recorded as you answer them. I found it stressful and feel I shared too much of my life experience.You see, I'm seventy-two years old and I know it sounds ridiculous to be starting a new career at my age but I'm fit snd healthy and I have had enormous life experience. Unfortunately, I don't have the confidence to match it and I have trouble with negative thoughts although I meditate regularly and try to practise mindfilness. At times, I despair of ever finding my niche yet my strong determination keeps me going, even though I often fail.I'm not sure if anyone else has this problem but when I defuse my thoughts, I feel empty just like I did when I first gave up smoking. I try to keep busy and exercise regularly but find I'm always staving off depression.

Overthinking_m3 Hyper focus on potentially the wrong person
  • replies: 5

Hi, I’m 42(m) and in a long distance relationship with a lady in another state. I fly to her, or her to me most weekends. I’m very much in love with her, both of us have had prior marriages. We are both professionals in very different industries. Las... View more

Hi, I’m 42(m) and in a long distance relationship with a lady in another state. I fly to her, or her to me most weekends. I’m very much in love with her, both of us have had prior marriages. We are both professionals in very different industries. Last week, she told me she wants to go for a holiday for two weeks with another man, whom I have never met. She tells me he is just a friend, and cannot understand why I told her that it upset me. Since then, I have told her that if she wants to go, then she should in fact go. Now I’m overthinking, cannot sleep, and I’m crazy anxious, to the point where I’m unable to function properly. Trying to quash the feelings internally, as she believes this all belongs to me. What do I do here?

Patrickj Heart Anxiety - Struggling
  • replies: 2

Back in 2020, I developed ectopic beats. These are horrible beats that thud in my chest and take my breath away. The worst of them are the flutters – ectopic beats that I have in pairs or sometimes in threes. I had both PVC's and PAV's for those fami... View more

Back in 2020, I developed ectopic beats. These are horrible beats that thud in my chest and take my breath away. The worst of them are the flutters – ectopic beats that I have in pairs or sometimes in threes. I had both PVC's and PAV's for those familiar with the terminology. The burden was not necessarily high, but they were there, and very real. Thankfully, I was able to see a cardiologist, who did bloods, a Holter monitor, and an echocardiogram. I was discharged and, over the coming days/weeks, I got better and started living my life again. About six weeks ago, my ectopic beats returned, likely due to stress, being sicks with two viruses, and drinking three glasses of red wine. I had a bout of those horrible flutters for about 8 hours. I was exhausted and worried. Again, thankfully, I went back to the cardiologist, who did another Holter monitor, 12-Cord ECG, and an echocardiogram. His report was very favourable – structurally, nothing had changed with my heart, which he compared to the echocardiogram in 2020. My heart is working well. During the consultation, he did question a couple of things about my Holter monitor, though dismissed these as ‘artifacts’. Aka, the machine must have glitched. This planted the seed in my mind that those artifacts were actually genuine signs that my heart arteries may have been blocked. I should have asked him there and then, but I didn’t. Perhaps this was foolish, perhaps not. I should note that, at this time, I had no chest pain nor discomfort. The ectopic beats had stopped and I was feeling good. However, my worry continued. I started getting chest pain, discomfort, fullness, burning sensations all over my skin. Something felt terribly wrong, and my mind turned to clogged arteries. In my mind, it was the only explanation to why I was still having symptoms. I started getting dizzy, I started feeling sick, and I worried that at any moment I was going to drop dead. My sensations were/are very real, and sometimes very painful.(Continued below)

TheBigBlue I messed up again, no one to talk to or confide in
  • replies: 9

Feeling lost. I started a new job 2 weeks ago, was doing ok, but messed up today. The manager & I stayed back 1.5hrs to try & fix it. I feel guilt about keeping him back, guilt for the stuff up. But also ashamed. Because of what happened. I had a “me... View more

Feeling lost. I started a new job 2 weeks ago, was doing ok, but messed up today. The manager & I stayed back 1.5hrs to try & fix it. I feel guilt about keeping him back, guilt for the stuff up. But also ashamed. Because of what happened. I had a “medical” incident. I doubt most here will understand, but I had a hypo (low blood sugar; I’m type 1 diabetic). As a type 1, when blood sugar gets too low you urgently need fast acting glucose to get your levels back up. Worse case scenario in extreme circumstances is seizures, or coma, or death. I’ve had an ambulance called & been hospitalised twice previously due to seizures from low blood sugar. so today my blood sugar dropped too low. I became disoriented, was sweating as if I was in a sauna & kind of didn’t know what was going on. But I kept trying to do my job, was too embarrassed to speak up & say I needed help. And that’s why I messed up my order in the computer. But worse, no one around me even noticed I was having trouble or understood what danger I was in. im so ashamed. So ashamed my body doesn’t work like it should, ashamed what happened was beyond my control, ashamed I didn’t speak up or ask for help, ashamed I messed up. I don’t know how to face my colleagues tomorrow. I’m so embarrassed I don’t want to ever show my face again. i hate that I can’t stick up for myself, or ask for help. I hate that I sometimes struggle because of my condition. I hate being different. I hate myself. Just needed somewhere to let this all out…..

Guest_7817 Dealing with anxiety
  • replies: 9

I'm feeling very anxious and I have no idea why. . I try a lot of things such as playing games, watching movies, going for walks, sitting outside in fresh air, playing with my dogs and colouring in books. They only last for so long and are short term... View more

I'm feeling very anxious and I have no idea why. . I try a lot of things such as playing games, watching movies, going for walks, sitting outside in fresh air, playing with my dogs and colouring in books. They only last for so long and are short term which is a major problem for me. It's worse at night time and first thing in the morning. Sleeping becomes difficult at times for me. I suffer at work sometimes with it as well but I'd prefer others to not know about it. I don't know what else to do.

Janie223 Social Anxiety really makes relationships hard
  • replies: 5

Hi, I’ve been diagnosed with social anxiety and depression in the last couple of years but have struggled ever since I can remember. I have never really managed to hold on to friendships and at the moment, can’t actually even name someone who is my f... View more

Hi, I’ve been diagnosed with social anxiety and depression in the last couple of years but have struggled ever since I can remember. I have never really managed to hold on to friendships and at the moment, can’t actually even name someone who is my friend. I’m really lonely and ashamed about how alone I am. I’m realising how scared I am to reach out to people because I assume they will reject me. I’ve just stopped trying. But this just continues the cycle of loneliness. I don’t know how to break out of it. This has been an issue I’ve dealt with my entire life and I don’t see it getting better. I’m now in my mid thirties. I’m so tired of constantly worrying about what people think about me. I’m exhausted. I’m sorry there isn’t much positivity here - it isn’t going well.

maya7895 My boyfriend hanging out with girls makes me uncomfortable
  • replies: 1

I know it is bad to go through peoples phones, but I had the urge to do it with my boyfriends phone. We had a fight a week ago because I get uncomfortable with him hanging out with girls he’s friends with (especially because most of them he’s liked o... View more

I know it is bad to go through peoples phones, but I had the urge to do it with my boyfriends phone. We had a fight a week ago because I get uncomfortable with him hanging out with girls he’s friends with (especially because most of them he’s liked or had a thing with). My previous relationship I was cheated on, and I feel like this trauma has followed me into this relationship and I don’t know how to work on it. My boyfriend and I came up with a compromise about him seeing this girl he wanted to hang out with which was to see her once a week maximum in a non-suggestive environment. Later on when I went through his phone I went into the conversation with his friend, while we were still fighting he was confiding in her about how he feels etc, and he said “do we still have that pact that when we turn 40 and we’re still single we are going to marry each other” and she agreed. Now I can’t stop thinking about what I’ve read, and I can’t bring it up with him because then he’ll know I went through his phone. I feel like I am so easily replaceable, and my self-esteem is so low. I need to work on this but I don’t know how to become comfortable with him hanging out with girls he used to like or had a thing with.

Mr K I’m terribly afraid of loosing my job.
  • replies: 8

On Friday I was told People had concerns about my work and I was being put on a performance improvement plan. It felt like it came out of the blue as nothing was said to me before this. I’m terribly worried that loosing my current job will lead me in... View more

On Friday I was told People had concerns about my work and I was being put on a performance improvement plan. It felt like it came out of the blue as nothing was said to me before this. I’m terribly worried that loosing my current job will lead me into unemployment, threaten my ability to pay my rent and worse of all my loosing the time I get with my kids. I work in a role that doesn’t come up for employment very often and up to this point I’ve relied on my reputation and hard work to get these roles as I’m not particularly well educated or qualified. I think I can pick up components and do better in some areas but the pressure I’m under is intense and I’m feeling overwhelmed and sick thinking about it. I don’t know if the plan is a genuine opportunity for me to improve or just a paper trail for my employer to begin my termination.