I recently had a phone call with a family member (cousin), I had to tell
her that due to an unavoidable university assessment that required me to
travel, I couldn't come to her wedding. The conversation was horrible, I
tried to apologise and tell her...
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I recently had a phone call with a family member (cousin), I had to tell
her that due to an unavoidable university assessment that required me to
travel, I couldn't come to her wedding. The conversation was horrible, I
tried to apologise and tell her why I couldn't come and she kept cutting
me off, telling me my excuse was invalid, that I should just fly in and
fly out (I had to travel via plane to get to her wedding) on the day. I
tried to explain that emotionally and financially, I couldn't afford it.
I think the trigger happened when she started to blame me for her
stress, she said that I was ruining the wedding, that she had to
rearrange the seating plans and that there would be consequences for my
actions. An onslaught of verbal abuse occurred there after and I kept
telling her she was hurting me emotionally, and that this argument
wasn't worth our relationship as family members. I told her I was on the
verge of an anxiety attack and she didn't stop. I had to hang up and I
broke down. I don't actually remember half of the conversation, my
boyfriend filled me in, I think I blacked out to some extent, I don't
know. I cried for two hours, I couldn't stop shaking, I felt like I just
couldn't think or breathe and I have never felt so out of control. My
aunt rang me afterwards and yelled at me, asking me what I said, I told
her and she accused me of lying saying I was causing my cousin all this
stress. I think this opened the flood gates again for me. I actually
felt fairly broken for a bit afterwards, I felt like the bad guy, the
cause of all this pain and I can't stop thinking about it. I couldn't
sleep, I couldn't regulate my body temperature (I was hot and sweaty
despite it being a very cold night). It's now been four days since, and
I'm still having nightmares, I don't know how to stop thinking about it.
I feel like I'm overreacting, but I can't shake it, I keep trying to
think about what I could have said or done to make it better. I don't
know what to do-is this normal?