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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Kazz-The-Goose Acting like a child
  • replies: 5

Hi there. I hope who ever is reading this is well. This has been heavy on my mind for a while now: I fear that I act incredibly childish. It is more so in my personality, as opposed to dependence or whatever (I am quite independent). I act eager or c... View more

Hi there. I hope who ever is reading this is well. This has been heavy on my mind for a while now: I fear that I act incredibly childish. It is more so in my personality, as opposed to dependence or whatever (I am quite independent). I act eager or cheerful like a child, and occasionally seem quite stupid. Like I would get giddy about different things, but to such an exaggerated extent compared to those around me. I speak to my friends like a child, constantly making sure something I do is “okay” (pretty much seeking validation a lot) or apologising for the slightest inconveniences. I also get disturbed by more explicit content. If my friend is suggesting a show to me, I say if it’s “inappropriate” who needs parental consent to watch things. I don’t know why I act like this. I’m 18 for petes sake. I also refuse to swear (in public… anonymously online is fine since im not being SEEN doing it). I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. Now, with no one nearby, I understand how weird this is. But when im with someone, its like im acting differently because its the only way I know how to or something. For some context, because maybe it’s relevant and has something to do with that: I was physically bullied when I was younger for a few years. A much taller girl would be very aggressive toward me - it was hard to defend myself because i was, and still am, very short for my age. I also experienced a lot of mental issues when I was young, especially social anxiety, which I still suffer with. I find it difficult to talk to others big time, I feel so awkward all the time… My dad’s also very strict - he’s one of the reasons why I don’t swear because he gets upset with me for not being “feminine” enough. I also have OCD, a lot of my thoughts are around hygiene and staying very clean, which is why sexually explicit things make me uncomfortable (but I don’t have to act in such a weirdly childish way about it…) is there anything I can do? Anyway to stop acting like this? I feel like such an idiot, and I fear that people see me as an idiot because of this too…

Firras-5 Anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, just over a week ago I went to the e.r. With severe dizziness, was discharged after a couple of hours did some tests but came back negative.since then I still have dizziness and I’m getting anxious about it cause is not going away. Been ... View more

Hi everyone, just over a week ago I went to the e.r. With severe dizziness, was discharged after a couple of hours did some tests but came back negative.since then I still have dizziness and I’m getting anxious about it cause is not going away. Been to the doctors had lots of blood tests and an echocardiogram of the heart all came back normal, now I panic cause still there so I keep thinking about it all the time even do people tell me is stress. Has anyone had this themselves and how they felt. I think that I’m making it worst as I can stop thinking that is something bad.

Rardi Anxiety/Paranoia in relationship
  • replies: 3

I need help!My wife and I have been married for 12 years and through this time have not spent any more than 5 days apart at a time. I have just returned from an 8 week work stint in a remote location. We kept in contact each day when possible and was... View more

I need help!My wife and I have been married for 12 years and through this time have not spent any more than 5 days apart at a time. I have just returned from an 8 week work stint in a remote location. We kept in contact each day when possible and was great all up untill my mind started playing tricks on me. My wife works hard at work and at home looking after our kids and everything else she does. She decided to go out with a few friends females and males for a few drinks, I didn’t know about it until I spoke to my kids on the phone that night, I immediately started thinking the worst. I didn’t act on it at this stage. Then the week later I was in the phone to her and she got an accidental message from a work friend who had had a few drinks not anything that was directed at making a pass at her or anything however the subject was a little inappropriate she was open and honest to me about it we had a bit of a laugh the next day I find out she had a call out for work after hours and I wasn’t aware she was taking call outs at this stage (they aren’t compulsory to attend) I stated that she need not do call outs as the kids need to be at home as it was a school night. She got her back up immediately getting defensive saying she had sorted the kids and she had looked after them the whole time I was away (I was still away at this point) so my initial reaction was to think the worst that she was having an affair etc not directly insinuating it to her how ever me questioning her about her choice to take a call out rather then get the kids home sparked a large reaction. My explaining I don’t like how she has more close friends that are males than females to me it seems she has more fun socially with them then me. Am I being reasonable thinking the worst when her communication wasn’t the best not letting me know what was happening and then accused me of being controlling and manipulating for asking questions. Or am I being over the top paranoid and anxious not being able to navigate the situation from afar or is she right am I controlling and manipulating for just wanting to be kept in the loop as to what’s happen Not only with her but with the kids?

Rach28 extremely overwhelmed and anxious after quitting my job
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone. Im writing this post to i guess vent but also seek support because Ive been interalising this for a while now. In August 2024 this year I got a job and quit very quickly after I started the role. I recieved some very negative "constructi... View more

Hi everyone. Im writing this post to i guess vent but also seek support because Ive been interalising this for a while now. In August 2024 this year I got a job and quit very quickly after I started the role. I recieved some very negative "constructive" feedback from my employer regarding my work performance. As a result of this feedback I had an anxiety attack and quit on the spot. To this day their feedback has been imprinted in my brain making me think over and over again "im not good enough" and "im not employable". I know I should be telling myself that their feedback was nothing personal and yes this job wasnt right for me - i hated every single second and was burnt out on my first shift. But I cant help but feel that after being told this same feedback face-to-face and over the telephone. Frustrating part is they werent aware i quit and wanted to offer me a different form of work which in my opinion was rude after the feedback they shared with no emotion or care for my feelings..... Its really impacted the way I view myself and my absolute fear and trauma of failing. I'm scared to fail again after what happened.I'm scared of getting a job and dealing with an employer that tells me that I am not good enough. So yeah I guess I'm sharing this because deep down I'm petrified and scared of repeating my failure and putting myself in a situation where my hard work and energy is criticized. Has anyone else dealt with this situation after quitting a job and receiving negative feedback? I just am so scared of repeating my same mistake and forced to find a job again as I'm currently on Centrelink Job Seeker payment. I feel trapped and stuck dealing with people that dont understand my anxiety or the fact I dont feel like I am employable. I hate that others have made me think this about myself when I know deep down I am employable. But I cant help but let others opinions impact me when my self-esteem and self-confidence is already so low. I hate that my anxiety controls my life this way and makes everything impossible. Does anyone have any suggestions or strategies? I'm trying to consider studying before jumping into a new employment role and even that triggers my anxiety and i feel overwhelmed. So no matter what I do - my anxiety is always there. Help and advice because I am scared and stuck wanting to avoid anything stressful or that will cause me to be in a position of failure. If anyone is reading this and can relate - please help.

bellyk8 I change jobs all the time, can't seem to find my "place"
  • replies: 3

I'm 33, have just recently started a new job in the same role but different company (environmental consultant). I am already having my doubts about this role as I struggle to sit at a computer for a full 8-hour day. Prior to consultancy work (have on... View more

I'm 33, have just recently started a new job in the same role but different company (environmental consultant). I am already having my doubts about this role as I struggle to sit at a computer for a full 8-hour day. Prior to consultancy work (have only been in it for a year and a bit) i had numerous environmental field-based roles with different organisations, but left each of them for different reasons (low pay/contract ending, too repetitive & no challenge, no career development, not what i thought it was/didn't align with my interests, too early start & fatigue, not being paid on time, etc). I understand that i will never find the 'perfect' job but i keep thinking the grass is greener and fantasise about the thought of escaping to another job, i look for and apply for new roles pretty frequently. I struggle with the same daily routine and after not too long feel that i'm in a 'rut', like i'm part of the rat race, and get depressed and start to question what my purpose is. I am getting to a point now where it's upsetting me that i feel like i don't belong anywhere, that i will never 'settle' with a job, and that i'm a failure because i can't hold down a job for long enough to establish myself within a company and grow in my career. I know i self sabotage (have SAD + GAD + depression which i'm medicated for but it doesn't seem to help with anxiety), but it's like i get that honeymoon period with a job and then afterwards i look elsewhere. The longest i have been in a role is approx. 2 years, which i'm embarrassed to admit.. The last 3 jobs that i had all lasted under 12 months (one i was let off however i don't believe this was my fault, it did brutalise my self confidence though). I studied music at university and i was very arty in school, and didn't know what career i wanted. I very much love and care about the environment, and i find that being outdoors in the bush is where i feel most happy and at ease. This is why i went into this line of work. However i'm feeling like i want to go back to a field-based role again because i find the office work draining / not as engaging and i'm an energetic person so it's hard for me to sit down all day. I can do it, but it affects my mental health. The problem is that since i've started consultancy work i have learnt more in the areas that i'm interested in i.e. flora and fauna, however, i wish it was more field orientated (it is a mix of both but the majority is report writing). Sorry i am ranting so much but there is a lot to explain for people to understand my work history and behaviour... i wonder if there is anyone else out there that shares my indecisive nature and lack of being able to settle and find their 'place' in a job? I want to keep growing in my career and learning but i also don't want a high pressure / high responsibility role. I am a firm believer that work is not life, and that a balance is more than necessary (i want to travel the world and have many hobbies outside of my fulltime job that i value and wish to continue). Basically what i'm asking here is does anyone out there relate to my ordeals in life, i have discussed it with psychologists also but they don't seem to have an answer. And if you do, what job worked for you? Should i just be staying in a field-based job or keep trying to stick it out with my new job (maybe the reports will get easier over time)?

SilvaLady Anxiety/depression
  • replies: 3

I’m suffering from anxiety/depression. I’m seeing a psychologist once week, which I started last week. Am living with my sil and brother, but the comments she makes towards me about my mental health makes things worse for me. She claims that she is t... View more

I’m suffering from anxiety/depression. I’m seeing a psychologist once week, which I started last week. Am living with my sil and brother, but the comments she makes towards me about my mental health makes things worse for me. She claims that she is trying to help me, but it makes it worse for me. Am not sure she really understands. She claims that she has her own personal mental problems, but I think she just can’t cope or understands what I’m going through. I understand that they’re trying to help me, but it’s hard to cope with.

SquireHarbour Anxiety Derailment
  • replies: 1

This sounds a lot, but I recently got taken off holiday that I was on (a tour) due to my panic attacks that I was suffering on it and I feel so angry at myself for allowing it to happen. It was so bad that my support worker had to fly up from Melbour... View more

This sounds a lot, but I recently got taken off holiday that I was on (a tour) due to my panic attacks that I was suffering on it and I feel so angry at myself for allowing it to happen. It was so bad that my support worker had to fly up from Melbourne to Sydney to pick me up so I could get home safe (I'm on the NDIS because I'm diagnosed with ASD). I feel so ashamed and humiliated that I'm unable to control my anxiety despite attempting coping strategies and all I can do is just mope around and cry because now everyone else gets to go to Byron and Cairns but I'm just sitting at home doing... nothing.How can everyone just go on holiday and do it well while I can't even manage a short domestic flight? People keep saying that I need to control it but it feels like a constant struggle to even recognise that I'm suffering from it let alone deal with it. I feel so useless and pathetic and all I want to do now is sleep for two weeks straight.

Exhausted-girl Upset
  • replies: 4

Just for context I have lived in the same place for the last few years work shift work and lived next to the person in the below issue for the whole time I’ve lived in my dwelling, with out a conver for Atleast the last two, maybe three years.This mo... View more

Just for context I have lived in the same place for the last few years work shift work and lived next to the person in the below issue for the whole time I’ve lived in my dwelling, with out a conver for Atleast the last two, maybe three years.This morning after returning home after work via Cole’s to get a few items, my neighbour, I shall call M, must of pulled in to his car spot (directly next to mine) as I was replying to a message. Once I was out of the car M out of the blue told me to stop my stalkerish behaviours, proceeded me to get a life and told me to get a life, as this is just weird. I am unaware where this is coming from or how to react. I did not respond to M’s comment out of being shocked. For further context, What M dose - ie work,activities, I really do not know anything about and if o do go out to either go grocery shopping, out to visit friends ect I don’t see M in my travels. I occasionally will see M go to go his car if Im outside having a smoke, which is something I’ve done for years.This has made my anxiety, which I’ve been living with for the past 15 years worsened and unable to sleep.

JEF15 Is it Low self esteem?
  • replies: 3

Hello Lately I’ve been noticing myself obsessing over things I say or things i do when I’m with people. I go home and obsess over something silly i said or did. Even if it’s not that silly, my brain tells me that it is and that everyone thinks I’m st... View more

Hello Lately I’ve been noticing myself obsessing over things I say or things i do when I’m with people. I go home and obsess over something silly i said or did. Even if it’s not that silly, my brain tells me that it is and that everyone thinks I’m stupid. Usually after a day or so I’ve moved on from it, but usually cause it’s replaced with the newest things to obsess over. sometimes it can be something I did, like not let a car go in front of me. And I just obsess over itwhy do i do this???

Guest_86143806 Suggestion - What has helped me through a mental breakdown/anxiety attack
  • replies: 1

My friend had suggested a treasure hunt of sorts, where they had requested me to go for a walk and take pictures of 5 specific items/things (e.g. beware dog sign, Halloween decoration, etc.). That way they not only ensured that I went out and did som... View more

My friend had suggested a treasure hunt of sorts, where they had requested me to go for a walk and take pictures of 5 specific items/things (e.g. beware dog sign, Halloween decoration, etc.). That way they not only ensured that I went out and did something nice for myself, but also put a bit of a dopamine twist to the situation itself (it gave me a sense of accomplishment along the way).Feel free to try it if you're feeling overwhelmed, it helped me a lot!