school feels like its stealing my life

Elise

Hey, I really just need somewhere to vent about school, so i'll do it here. I'm almost 14, and have started year 8 this year, but the thought of school just makes me sick. I HATE being there so much. I only really started hating it a couple of years ago and since then its just gotten worse. I get good grades and my teachers like me, so everyone is confused as to why I hate being there so much. Also my school is a relatively fancy private school, and my parents tell me I should be grateful that I have so many opportunities, but I don't feel grateful and that makes me SO guilty.I don't want to join any clubs because that would just mean dedicating more time to school. The only "club" I ever joined was the school musical because I love singing/dancing/acting and I got a lead part and had so much fun, but now the school has stopped doing a musical because its "too expensive." I missed the first 2 weeks of year 8 due to an injury and now that I'm better the thought of going back just kills me. I used to be a pretty good student, but now I've stopped listening in class and talk back to teachers sometimes. I just don't understand why I have to dedicate so much of my life to learning something I don't care about at all. Every time I have to go to school I start having a "mental break down" of sorts and it makes me feel so pathetic crying over something like school but I cant help it. I know most kids don't like school, but it feels different for me because sometimes I feel like I'd rather die than be there, but then I feel guilty for thinking that way because outside of school I have an amazing life where I get to do lots of sports, a few holidays and a kind family. but I still have 5 more years of school left + university and it just feels like the cycle never ends.

Does anyone know what I can do?

Thanks, Elise

white knight

Hi, welcome

I'll try to put things into a perspective that hopefully, is productive. It's always useful to project yourself in the years to come eg at 18yo, 21yo, 30yo etc. So at 18yo if you had dropped out of school at your earliest opportunity (say end of this year) and you look for work, they are going to choose the person that didnt drop out and completed a higher grade. You probably know this. I'm mentioning it because in your whole life the worst thing to experience is the "I wish I had of" moment. So that is the consequences and I dont know what your plan is when you leave in terms of work???

Ok so lets look at the school environment. The human mind is a mysterious thing. We find trouble if we try to change it (change our nature) so the better option is to steer it in another direction. eg When I was 14yo I began to like model airplanes, So I found a couple of friends in my grade that owned them and at lunch times we'd hang out at the library and research it. We learned about how air lifts wings, how to construct a plane and their engines. I have to say that when I was in that environment I wasnt at school mentally only physically.

So do you have any interests? Hobbies/footy club/special interest? If so what is the chance of pursuing it in your breaks?

Finally, I'm concerned that you are getting so upset. This could be a mental health issue so please consult your counsellor at school or discuss it with your family.

"One could be standing in a sewer reading a book about paradise ... the power of distraction"

TonyWK