Muddy thoughts

[Guest_84992011]

Hi,

I'm new here. My mental health journey started to go downhills when I moved to Australia.

Although Australia is a beautiful country, it can be very difficult for immigrants.

I had my first daughter in 2019 (emergency c-section). I couldn't kiss her. I had my second daughter in 2024, and I'm madly in love with her.

Now I suffer from what seems to be getting worse, anxiety. I've applied for permanent residency with a sponsor. I hate my job. Going to work every day and not being able to be with my baby is killing me.

Now I feel lost. My thoughts are all over the place. I say things I don't mean, like "it's a pleasure to help you". I feel nothing.

I feel like I haven't given up for my daughters.

I know I need help, but I feel like I don't have the energy to do it.

Am I being silly here?

[starlight]

Hi there, I relate to your story a lot. I am a migrant too and suffered from post partum depression plus anxiety and panic attacks across my life. When my children were young I didn’t know what was happening to me so I struggled a lot so it is great that you are to seeking support specially when you are a mum of young children. At present I am on stress leave cos I worked for 8 years in this organization to the point of a nervous break down. With my psychologist I have been reflecting on this. The organization pushed me a lot to give more and more but I also pushed myself to the edge. As a migrant I wanted to demonstrate how capable I was, what a great professional I am… these are reflections of my own insecurities, low self esteem. Now I need to learn to set boundaries so I can look after myself. I found useful to create a network of support with supportive friends, my husband is also very supportive, my psychologist and my naturopath are brilliant. Most of all I needed to be kind to myself and less judgemental to my actions, it is a work in progress. I have found the ACT therapy is giving me some useful tools for my mental health

When my children were young I found it very hard to leave them in a childcare centre whilst I was working but I tried to find a good centre were they were loved and well looked after. I needed to work on my guilt because it was not a useful feeling and it was dragging me down. Wish you the best in this self discovery journey.