Please OCD help i dont know what’s going on

[Guest_46600738]

Please help me im spiraling and i dont know what to do. Ok so I’ve struggled with mental health for years now especially anxiety and I have been medicated since I was 11 for it and switched medication a few times.  but last year my anxiety got so bad to the point that I had to leave school and do online. It was all about germs and health and “contamination”. I would wash my hands but then they would get dirty because of the tap handle, or I couldn’t leave them wet because I thought mold would grow in the ridges of my skin but I couldn’t use a blow dryer because they blow out bacteria, but I also couldn’t use paper towel because someone had to touch them to put them in the container and I didn’t see how they were made. I thought that something would happen and I would make a virus like COVID and I would kill millions of people. And about a month ago I started with a new therapist and on my second session she brought up OCD. Keep in mind that at the time it wasn’t really on my mind at all as I hadn’t been struggling with it. She didn’t say anything certain but she seemed to think I should go see a specialist and look into a diagnosis. I’ve had two more sessions since and even though we haven’t explicitly brought it up (I think she sensed it was difficult for me) I can see her looking at my behaviour and trying to identify triggers. Ever since she brought it up ig hasn’t left my mind ive been constantly thinking about it and analysing everything to see if it’s ocd. Here’s the thing, autism runs in my family and when I spoke to my dad about it he seemed unsure if it might just be autism. Ive brought up getting diagnosed twice to him now, even though im scared shitless because I’m planning on hoing back to school in 6 months and I want to know what’s going on. I don’t know but I’m really spiralling and I think that a diagnosis might help me identify my behaviour and stop the overanalysing or feeling like a fraud. PLEASE ANY ADVICE.

[Bob123]

You are going through a lot, and you are very strong to reach out, with the therapist, your father, and here. Each person is different, but a diagnosis helped my eldest, they were diagnosed with OCD first at a very young age,.about 8, then autism.  The OCD diagnosis helped with getting the right medications and strategies in place to help minimise its impact on their life, and the autism diagnosis later help them understand themselves, and find what works best for them to enjoy and be themselves day to day. Both OCD and autism can be incredibly difficult, you are taking such huge steps already, listening to yourself, researching, reaching out to others and trying to find what works for you. There are people who can help, and groups who may be able to share their experiences to support you through this. Medication, therapists, time and talking with others has helped my eldest manage their OCD and flourish as a young autistic person. You sound like you are also an amazing young person with lots to give, keep taking those steps to reach out and get the help you deserve. 🙂

[vegivegi]

I hope I don't look like I made an account just to shill them (I literally just recommended it to another poster a few seconds ago) but I found NOCD on youtube incredibly helpful.

OCD is often described as a spiral or a trap and even like a malicious entity that actively tries to trick you.

"ive been constantly thinking about it and analysing everything to see if it’s ocd" < Checking over and over for OCD? Possible OCD symptom. Thinking 'but what if it's not OCD and I'm a fraud?' Possible OCD symptom. Being scared of getting a diagnosis for OCD? Believe it or not, possible OCD symptom.

It's not a replacement for diagnosis, but many people on the channel speak of the same fears you do that prevented them from seeking help earlier. OCD feeds OCD to make sure OCD stays around, basically. I wish you the best of luck 🙂