The warmest of welcomes to you at a time in your life where you're questioning so much, including the way forward.
I'm wondering whether it would help to reframe anxiety in some ways. For example, instead of looking at it as anxiety, an idea could involve looking at it as
- not just mental and physical activity but mental and physical hyper activity. The question then becomes 'How do I reduce the level of activity in my mind and body, down to a level I can confidently manage?'. Another thing to keep in mind is how long the hyperactivity has been going on for. Long term, it can start to exhaust some of the energy systems in the body and we can end up feeling our body's exhaustion. We gotta be kind to that thing that carries us around 🤗
- relating to the ability to feel. If we have the natural ability to feel our thoughts and the impact they have on our body, amongst being able to feel a whole stack of other things, the question then becomes 'What are these emotions I'm feeling trying to tell me?'. This is something you already point to when you say 'I know it's telling me something...'. All emotions are telling. For example, if we already have a list of challenges and we add another challenge/weight, this can begin to tip the scales into a state of overwhelm. 'How to rebalance the scales?' becomes the question. Is it a matter of taking a challenge away (off that side of the scales) or a matter of adding something to the other side, such as a skill? What will bring things back into balance?
- involving the level of a particular emotion. An anxiety inducing level of stress or fear or frustration or confusion or mixed emotions (aka 'the high speed churning tornado of mixed emotions') etc etc
Just a few examples. I should add that if we're super sensitive or have the ability to sense in super natural ways, we need to be able to separate feeling our stress/anxiety from other people's stress/anxiety, otherwise we're kind of doubling up (which can definitely become overwhelming). If we're super sensitive or super natural, the ultimate challenge can involve coming to our senses in ways that are really going to serve us. For example, if we can develop the ability to intuitively sense, then the decisions we make become based on trusted and well exercised intuition, as opposed to making decisions based on stress/anxiety/fear. There is an absolutely massive list of things to sense. The problem can come down to no one ever teaching us how to come to (rely on) our senses. It's a tough way to go but sometimes the first step toward self mastery comes through having no choice. The first step can be born out of absolute desperation. Btw, in the steps that follow we can come to find who we naturally are and if we amaze ourself in the process then we are amazing.
The #1 best piece of advice I was ever given when it comes to anxiety, 'Anxiety is telling you something's gotta change'. The question is 'What?'.
