Please help me to understand

[MaryHope]

Hello,

This is my first time posting on any forum about this and I'm positive that I belong here- however I don't understand why I feel the way I do. I have so much to be grateful for. I have amazing children, parents, family and friends. I love my job, I'm financially ok. I'm a very happy person, confident, easy going, sociable- life is good. So why, oh why do I suffer these panic/anxiety attacks out of no where?

Just this morning, I had cold sweats, felt shaky but still persevered and went out. Got into the car, my eyesight was a bit weird, felt light headed, almost out of body experience, tight chest (heart disease runs in my family- which makes me worry, though Ive had ecg's done and stress tests and they have come back fine) heart palpation's (one after the other) I kept on telling myself " relax, it's. panic attack" finally I got over it....but why did it happen. I was all happy this morning- no stress- just happy.

I do find myself analysing some things sometimes, like if I'm late for something and I also worry that I may not wake up in the mornings and my children finding me (such an awful feeling) -Though, I don't have anxiety about being in new surroundings, or meeting new people. And I'm also at a point in my life, that I don't really care if I disappoint some people especially over trivial stupid things. I've come to realise that I don't need to keep up with the jones's anymore and I'm comfortable in my own skin and in my last seasons clothes and my Ikea couch- if you know what I mean.

I get a good nights sleep, and I don't have these feelings when I'm at work. It's normally when I'm home alone or around people I love.

It's weird, but I'm glad I can recognise it now- because in the past I didn't know what was going on and I thought I was honestly going to die.

But at the same time- I don't know how to control it and what to do.

These last 2 weeks, I have cut out sugar and have started eating better- limit coffee to one a day, drink plenty of water but still I have been having waves of panic.So scary, especially as a single parent.

I'd be grateful for any words of advice.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post (a bit all over the place, but my mind is racing- so much to write.)

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi MaryHope,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us!

I'm sorry you're having these panic attacks and I know how difficult and disruptive they can be. Yet at the same time it sounds like you're recognising them really well, especially in the midst of one. I hope that we're able to help you out and that you can find the forums to be a supportive place.

As you probably already know, panic attacks are our own version of the flight/flight response - the same sort of response that helped keep us alive when there was a bear around! Our body perceives fear and reacts accordingly, like pressing the alarm bells. With anxiety and panic attacks, our body is more likely to ring the bells, even if there is no 'bear' in sight.

I guess my point is that it's the perception of fear - even if you can't necessarily notice it or you feel like everything is good. Anyone can experience anxiety regardless of how well their life is going. It's nobody's fault.

The other thing to try and notice is that when our alarm bells ring/we get a panic attack, we might not always recognise what's happening - but there is so much happening underneath. Are there any sorts of thoughts or feelings that you remember having during or before your panic attack?

You mentioned that you're more likely to have them home alone, and one of the things you worried about was not waking up and your children finding you - do you think that this could be causing (or contributing to) your panic attack?

This has been a bit of a long post! But I think that if you're able to identify or be curious about some of those thoughts that lead to a panic attack it will go a long way.

Hope this helps,

[Burdy]

Hello MaryHope,

Firstly welcome to the forums, fairly new here myself and so far have found this to be a great place full of caring and understanding people with really good advice or just a listening ear.

Romantic gave an excellent explanation of panic attacks and yes it is great that you are able to recognize what is happening and have the ability to self calm.

I too started having small panic attacks out of no where and having anxiety over things ( mine too was about my own mortality but also other things like home invasions and other random things). It is a very scary feeling indeed.

I think romantic may have found a clue, have you been a single mum for long? Could it may be that underneath somewhere you are worried something may happen and you are worried about you children?

I hope you keep using the forum, I have found it very helpful to get alot of stuff out and read others stories and know I'm not alone.

I hope you keep us posted and let us know how you are doing.

Burdy