Anxiety: my story and a new chaper?

[Herenorthere]

I had my first panic attack in my early years of high school. At the time I didn't know what it was. I thought I was dying. I went to doctor and explained I felt dizzy and got pins and needles all over my body, how I had trouble breathing, tightness in my chest and how my vision went black. He check my vitals and the blood test results came back fine so he concluded there was nothing wrong with me.

They happened frequently after that. I was scared and confused. They happened while playing sport, swimming and evening sitting down at lunch with my friends. I kept it to myself. I quit everything that I loved for fear it would happen again. It could happen anywhere at any time.

It wasn't until years later that I worked out what I was experiencing were panic attacks from a poster in the ladies toilet. I eventually worked out how to control them by distracting myself before they got too severe. These days I don't them often but I have certain triggers that bring them on such as public speaking. This has stopped me from choosing subjects that I really wanted to do at uni because they had speeches.

I think the panic attacks lead to the onset of anxiety. I can't pinpoint when it started but I constantly found myself stressing over so many things and when those events pass it's like my brain goes "what is the next thing you need to stress about." I know it is completely irrational but I can't help myself. I get this pressure that builds up in the front of my head and it lingers. I have periods where I feel a wave of fear followed by shortness of breath, tightness in my chest and difficulty swallowing. I am frequently dizzy.

I have never told anyone until recently. I tried to hint to my boyfriend by telling him that I am always stressed but he said I just need to learn to control it. I told him I can't. I eventually told him I think I have anxiety and I have tried to be more open with how I am feeling. He tells me he understands which really annoys me because how could he possibly understand?

He convinced me to speak to a GP today who thinks I have general anxiety disorder. I need to go back but feel like I have made the first step to regaining some sort off joy and freedom back into my life. The last week especially has been tough. I haven't been able to relax. I am tired. I am drained. But now I am hopeful.

I guess I am here to get this off my chest since and find people who I can relate to. Who understand what I am going through.

[jess334]

Hi Herenorthere,

Welcome to the forums. There are a lot of people on here who can relate to constant anxiety.

Unfortunately trying to avoid panic attacks generally leads to more anxiety as you start worrying about if/when your next panic attack will be. It can take a while to learn how to cope, but it does get easier, especially with professional help.

It is great that you are seeing your GP. They should be able to refer you to a psychologist which can be really helpful.

Its also good that you feel able to talk to your boyfriend and that he is taking you seriously. True, he might not understand 100% what you are going through, but chances are he has either dealt with mental health issues himself or has experience helping other friends with it. 1 in 3 people in Australia have issues with mental health, so there are a lot more people who understand what you are going through than you think.

Please keep using this forum as a place to chat with likeminded people.

Kind thoughts, Jess

[smallwolf]

Hi Herenorthere,

Let me also extend a welcome to you...

... and it sounds like you are doing all the right things, having recognised some problem and going to see a GP about this. On top of that you had the courage to tell your boyfriend. I think he might have been trying to support you even though the words might have been wrong.

Not sure if your experience was the same as mine, but I was actually somewhat relieved to give a name "depression" and "anxiety" to the feelings I had when I first saw my psychologist last year, because knowing that meant I was then able to look for solutions or resolutions to what I deal with on a somewhat daily basis. A year on from then, I still visit my psychologist regularly as we work together to help fix my mind.

When you have time you might want to check out other parts of the forum including the Cafe, and threads on grounding and mindfulness to get some ideas on how to distract yourself and get yourself back to the present moment when you have those negative thoughts.

As Jess said... I hope you will come back to chat some more here.

You are not alone.

Tim

[Jermimah]

Hi There,

I can relate to how you feel with been dizzy. Im dizzy all the time every time i leave the house and i think this is anxiety as i have a fear of been dizzy\lightheaded when I'm out therefore leads to anxiety and feeling these symptoms. I thought i was the only one that felt doxxy as i haven't heard of anyone feeling this way.

xx