Please help, I have OCD and don’t know exactly what’s happening

[MrAnxiety]

Hi all, I have just joined as a member recently, I feel the need to say what is going on with me as I am not fully cognizant as to what is happening. I sometimes get racing thoughts throught my mind and it’s difficult for them to stop, this can happen at anytime and sometimes when I am watching TV or listening to the radio, the thoughts can begin and seem to distract me from what I am listening to/watching and I tend to tune out unwillingly as the thoughts seem to just take over, I feel as if I barely have any control or any way to make them stop.


The thoughts can start at any random time and sometimes consist of events that have happened in the past or conversations I have had in the past or a future conversation I am planning to have.


It also happens if I may be about to see someone, eg, on the way to work and I feel that they may ask me a question and I am thinking what the question may be and I plan my potential responses in my mind, it’s kind of like a version of how the conversation could go is going through my head.


There are times where I will also start thinking that my boss is going to call me and either cancel a shift on me or tell me off for something that I may have done wrong, I understand that this falls under the category of timorousness as I work a range of different hours and rarely see my boss and therefore cannot know if she is happy with my performance etc at times, this is usually only ephemeral and passes once I know she has left work for the day.


I feel that a lot of this is due to my OCD, I sometimes get random feelings in my body like kind of like some kind of stabbing pain in my chest and it’s kind of like a semi hot feeling, it doesn’t really last that long but I often get scared when it occurs and think I may be having a heart attack or stroke, I try to convince myself that this is not the case but it’s not that easy to do, it scares me that it may happen in future, this event just happened to me last Sunday in the movie theatre and eventually passed, I attempt to manage it with a breathing technique that I was taught and it works quite a bit, the movie started and it eventually went.


I’m putting my story on here as I want to know if others are experiencing something similar or have in the past, it would be greatly appreciated if people could answer and attempt to assist in any way or at least share similar experiences. Thanks in advance.

[MrAnxiety]

Cool thanks, that at least explains a bit of the reasons for the OCD habits,I also have that habit with the concrete and I still do it today (depending on the design/layout) quite often as well as doing it when I was a kid, I’m also always early and have checklists and sheets set out for my work shifts etc, I don’t wanna lose any of the good parts of the OCD if I was to seek proper or more professional treatment one day, that’s a kind of fear I have I guess.

[Bethie]

Hi

I suppose the question is are you happy to live with your OCD or does it impact your life to much. I know in my case my OCD i live with happily as its basically a security blanket and my family just accepts that i need to be organised or get as my son tell me Mum starts flapping. Work loves it because i meet every dead line. My husband loves it because he knows where everything is and that bills get paid or extensions organised.

[geoff]

hi MrAnxiety, good to hear back from you, but whatever habit you have to do is not your fault, and just because I had to not step on the cracks in the concrete, then what you have to do is your OCD telling you to do this.

If you move away, such as change houses then it may stop, the new surroundings, different houses or maybe the concrete has been replaced by brick pavers all it needs is something small to be different which may stop you from doing what you have to do.

You don't have to be conscious of changing, it may just happen, that's what happened to me.

I also have to use checklists, but what you consider to be good with your OCD you won't lose because they have a strong priority and will work around them. Geoff.

[MrAnxiety]

Yes it is, well the thing is I don’t wanna lose any of the positive aspects of it, the organization etc, yes it can be a security blanket, it has many positives that I see, like the organization aspect, it’s a big key to running a life efficiently and achieving goals.

I strongly feel that without it I wouldn’t take work and money as seriously as I do or perhaps set the goals I do, it’s a lot to think about, even anxiety has it’s good parts I feel, it really helps and feels great to talk about it, see it has good advantages for you too.

I don’t wanna lose those qualities, I fear doing so, am I correct in saying you do too? Talking about it on here is definitely a great start or move to help manage it.

[MrAnxiety]

I have a very high stress job atm I feel, it’s one I am not planning to do forever, I am aiming to just manage my anxiety/OCD for now and then see how I feel when things steady a bit more and im in a different job with a different setup etc, hard to explain and I don’t want to go into too much but it definitely makes sense to me, so perhaps I will decide if I need proper counselling in future, thanks to you a Jeff for your replies and help, truly means a lot. 🙂

[MrAnxiety]

Okay that’s great, I really hope I don’t should in the worst case I end up needing medication etc.

[MrAnxiety]

May I ask you both what you make of the voices in my head I mentioned in the original post or the sort of conversations that go on in the head? That’s probably what bothers me the most as well as the panic attacks or physical feelings equally.

[geoff]

hi MrAnxiety, before I can answer your last comment I need to think as I'm logging off, but absolutely to you and Bethie, it is our security blanket, our comfort zone, something that will finally make us feel comfortable but only for a short time. Geoff.

[Bethie]

Hi

I get voices in my head but its like having a conversation with myself to figure out what i need to do. Its commonly called self talk. If im having a bad day i can talk in my head and calm myself down by telling me that i am safe, have done this before and been ok.

[MrAnxiety]

Okay I see, I get that too but it’s slightly different, I can run things through my head like the next three tasks I wanna do etc and in that exact order, I do also talk my self internally, good to know I’m not alone.