People don't understand

WhatSheHides · ‎10-03-2018

Hey all... so for the past few months I've struggled quite badly with depression and anxiety. . Being switched from medication to medication whilst trying to juggle my job (which is up in the air with what they are doing with me) and trying to sort through so many family issues, also with being diagnosed with von wilderbrands (mild to moderate haemophilia)

I've noticed though so many people don't understand what living with mental health is like, there i days as work where i literally cannot cope, i cannot function and so i just shut down and shut everyone out.. last week my boss pulled me into his office and was ready to call an ambulance because i was what he woul describe as "catatonic " i just was so overwhelmed with work and personal issues that i broke and i fell... but i fell hard and it's so hard to open up to people about everything because growing up everyone i have let in has let me down and has gossiped about the very secrets i let them know so i just ... when i break i feel like i cannot speak to people, i write poems but even that release lately doesn't seem to do much, my fiancé tries to help but he doesn't understand half of what i am going through simply because we are from 2 completely different upbringings, he is so close to his family and has such a great reationship with his parents yet I'm complete opposite. . My mums boufriend abused me for years and she blames me and my mum and dad split when i was 6 and he still to this day tells me he hates me because i look like her.. I'm sorry to air this all out but i just needed somewhere to turn

demonblaster · ‎11-03-2018

Hi and welcome to a caring group here on bb WhatSheHides ☺

You have a lot to deal with I'm sorry for your pain.

Please don't be sorry for letting it out its a good release and feel free to talk here anytime. This is what here's about.

How do you feel about speaking to your GP they could get you into some counselling that could help you with coping techniques and someone that you can unload to that wouldn't betray your trust.

Awful to hear when you have reached out how they've callously carried on, thats so wrong don't blame you being wary. Not everyones like that.

Depression does engulf us and causes withdrawal that can be isolating causing loneliness on top of the stress already. If you can try to remain in touch with people even if just for short times it'll keep you connected.

There are several ways of getting through depression with the right help. I'm glad your fiance cares and tries and yes its hard for many to understand if they don't experience this but there is help available

If you ever feel youd like to voice with someone BB heres no: is 1300 224636 these good people are trained and caring.

My heart goes out to you with your family situation. So sorry for what you've been through.

Good you do poetry a release. Although you're not getting pleasure I suggest continue with that its a distraction as well as I'd think therapeutic

Really hope you can find peace darl you deserve it

Hope to see you again ☺

smallwolf · ‎11-03-2018

Welcome.

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. I only want to add a little to what DB has said...

What you and I go through or have is mostly invisible. People cannot see what is going on in your head, or any other symptoms you might have. I also think that each case is unique - your anxiety and depression is different to mine and different to DB also. People don't talk much about it, if at all. And so what a "normal" person might perceive as MH problem might be taken from a TV show or similar. And if you don't present the same then you don't have a MH issue. As I have said before, I had to explain to my wife what anxiety and depression felt like for me - I had reached a stage where I could not cope. And I had a good upbringing. Maybe get the information for partners from the BB website, and go through it with your fiance?

Fir me the greatest help is my support person who has suffered from anxiety, and was even hospitalized at one time. We try to go out for coffee once a week. He understands what I go through. Is there someone in your life you can talk to?

So I can feel your pain. And most if not all people here will support you, and believe what you say. But you have come here, which demonstrates that you aware there is light at the end of the tunnel, but we just have to find it.

As a side note you will find a poetry section in the forum s also.

Stay strong, and when you are ready, talk to us. We will listen.

Hang10 · ‎12-03-2018

Hi Whatshehides.

You are very brave and awesome person. You have been your own hero and glad that you have a partner that gives you stilbillity.

I had problems at my work where I feel no one understands me, judge me and was waiting tillmy next anxiety attack. I was like you and had the weight of the family on my shoulder so much was expected from me. Beening the oldest child I was expected to deal with all the dramas of my family. Mum 2 domestic violence situation she had in 10 years. I end up drinking before I went to work. I would brush my teeth before work to hide the smell of liquor. I broke down and nearly left work. I end up going to a GP and got help. I got answers to mental issues that plague me for years. I haven’t drink before work for years. I still have hard days that test me out. I glad I didn’t leave work. I hope that you find the strength to work. Poems are awesome. I used to write a lot too. It let out the emotions in a good way. Listerning to music helps me as i got music for all moods. Take care. You got this. Your unbreakable.