Panic attacks when taking care of dogs

Matai88 · ‎13-10-2016

I'm new here and have an issue I hope I can get some advice on. I love dogs. I've been around them all my life. Dad had hunting dogs, some were pets, friends I lived with for years had 4 spaniels. I've wanted to get my own dog since I was a child and for the first time ever that is now a possibility.

I regularly volunteer at a breed specific shelter. I'm out of the house Mon-Fri, 7:30am-5:30pm, you can't really leave a pup alone so decided to get an adult dog. I rent a small house my fiance, we do hope to buy a house in the next couple of years. So recently we took on a female kelpie x on a trial. She was house trained but very timid and quiet. For some reason after 3 days with her I started having panic attacks. At first I thought I was just nervous and overwhelmed, but the panic attacks increased in duration and intensity. After 2 days of this I couldn't eat or sleep, I was wreck and not getting any better despite doing all I could to calm myself. We made the decision to return the dog to the lady who was rehoming her (a foster/rehoming service, not a shelter).

I thought maybe it was just that the dog was so scared of everything and I didn't know how to train her. Maybe she just wasn't the right dog for me. I went to see a hypnotherapist for a few weeks and got treatment. I came out feeling confident and over the issues I thought I had. I decided that while we are renting it might be better to try fostering dogs, that way we won't have a dog all the time, there is more flexibility and 24/7 support with the dog and it's doing a good deed. On Sunday I picked up my first foster (from the same lady). This dog was lovely, very quiet, well trained and very obedient. I got her home and prepared myself for a few weeks of taking care of her. The panic attacks returned within hours. I couldn't eat all of Sunday, sleep at all that night and missed work on Monday. The lady running the foster service suggested I bring her back as I wasn't coping and it could effect the dog negatively.

I'm devastated. I've battled depression for 14 yrs and anxiety for 4. I generally only have panic attacks in situations involving speed or extreme motion (due to getting motion sickness) but now it seems I have them when faced with taking care of dogs full time, or anything on top of my day to day life/responsibilities. I'm fine at the shelter on weekends and have great joy in my time there. I'm now put off owning a dog and absolutely heartbroken. What should I do?

blondguy · ‎13-10-2016

Hello Matai88

Welcome. Anxiety can be an unpredictable illness. Whether it happens with dogs or in a dental surgery or even a supermarket still means our system is trying to let us know that we have way too much on our plate, or we have a 'tired' mind so to speak.

I have had acute anxiety from 1983 and now depression...I understand where you are coming from. I have been involved in dog rescue for many years and have a Chow Chow at the moment.

I hope you have a good GP Matai as this is the best place to start...I still use my GP for a tune up often.

Looking after a K9 can also be a huge responsibility as you know. My sister had a Husky and she lasted for 24 hours and went through what you are. After seeing her doc on a regular basis she did end up getting a dog after a few months.

Your anxiety is still somewhat new even at 4 years. My anxiety stopped me from driving in traffic and it took six months of weekly counseling to treat. Whether the catalyst is a dog or a traffic jam the adrenaline is pumping way too hard....there is usually a reason(s)...

Congrats by the way on your regular volunteer work too 🙂

There are many super kind people on the forums that can be here for you too Matai. It would be great if you could post back when convenient of course.

my kindest thoughts for you

Paul

Matai88 · ‎13-10-2016

Thanks for your kind words Paul.

My GP is fairly new to me (been seeing him less than 2 years), unfortunately I had to change GPs as my previous one offered ZERO support other than filling prescriptions. Even that one was new, we have only lived in Australia for 5 years (moved here from NZ) and I couldn't bring many medical records with me. I have a psychologist that I've been seeing on an off for about 3 years, I've made another appointment with her next week. It's tough because after seeing the same person for years and constantly ending up back at the same place you start to question whether seeing them is working!

Matai88 · ‎13-10-2016

Maybe it would be best if I just wait until we buy a house, that was we can build appropriate enclosures and/or add dog doors and what not, plus I wouldn't be worried about the dog possibly marking someone else's property. Our landlords are great and have given us permission to have a dog but my mind constantly spirals with "what ifs". Not ideal I know but it's so hard to stop when you are in the throes of anxiety! It's not even any particular concerns about the dogs behaviour or my abilities (just that I lack confidence and training knowledge), I just ended up feeling completely overwhelmed; wondering what I'd got myself into; disappointed that I wasn't elated because I finally had my own dog; feeling guilty about leaving the dog alone; thinking of every possible scenario of things that could go wrong; and having that awful voice on repeat in my head saying "you can't do this"... Maybe in our own house I'll have one less thing to worry about?

Touille · ‎13-10-2016

Hi Matai,

Welcome to the forum.

I really love dogs, but don't currently own one. They can be good therapy.

I looked up youtube videos and there was a young American woman who had a special trained dog who helped her manage her panic attacks, you should look it up, you can train a puppy to your condition. Buying an adult dog can be stressful, as they often have been hurt and you feel an overwhelming responsibilities.

A dog has it's own personality like humans, you need to try and manage your panic attacks without thinking you need to impress the dog. All they need is a home, bed, food, water, love and exercise. A puppy who will adapt itself to your personality is what you need. Look up how the experts help people by using dogs.

I'm glad you volunteering at the shelter, it would be rewarding.

I hope my message helps you.

Take Care

Woof

Touille

Matai88 · ‎13-10-2016

I would love a pup but as I'm out of the house for 10 hours a day it's not possible to get one. A puppy cannot be left alone that long, they need to be taken out to toilet at least every 4 hours. Puppy day care is very expensive and we don't have any friends or family that could take care of the pup during the day. I just don't see how it could happen.

Teacher9 · ‎14-10-2016

Hey,

I cant understand your anxiety with wanting a dog yet having these feelings that are stopping you. My husband and I were renting and got a dog. We were planning on buying a home with the next 12months so thought it would be a good idea as I was home by myself a lot. On top of being anxious about my work, I became anxious over leaving our dog out the back In a small area and felt so guilty and I believe this was causing the anxiety. For the first few months I was taking him to my parents house or getting them to check on him during the day and this eased my anxiety but knew I couldn't keep doing this. I can tell you that since moving into our own home, with a good sized secure yard I feel so much better. I have a doggy door from outside to the laundry for cold/hot days when he wants to chill. I am a casual worker and on call, and I still feel sad and anxious leaving him home all day but it's kinda reassuring to know he is secure, has protection and will probably just sleep all day anyway.

So hold off until you get a house and reassess. 🙂