Overthinking/intrusive thoughts doing my head in

[Gambit87]

Hi friends,

This has been a long time coming, but I’m taking control and taking the first steps to sort myself out.

For the past year and a bit I’ve been overthinking a lot and having intrusive thoughts. My overthinking is usually over things like ‘did I turn this/that off’ or ‘is that shut’ or ‘did I say that right/will that person think this’ etc and I obsess and get anxious over it. I try to distract myself by thinking ‘cmon now everything is fine ya muppet’ and try and focus over something else, which often works.

My intrusive thoughts are often of violence and sexual violence towards women. I do not know why I think these things? I am not a violent person and I absolutely detest any kind of violence/sexual violence towards women. To say I’m disgusted with myself is a huge understatement. I hate myself for the thoughts I have and I obsess over if I’m a bad person.

last night,l (after watching red dragon with my partner on Sunday night) thoughts of me being the psychopath and she being the victim flooded my mind and I couldn’t shake the feeling I was going to hurt her (I would never ever hurt her - I would put myself into hospital before I ever hurt her) and had a panic attack. After I managed to calm down I couldn’t stop thinking how much I loved her.

i try to distract myself/keep myself busy when I start to over think/have intrusive thoughts and it works to an extent. I would like to have more of a handle on it.

im sorry if I’ve offended anyone or anything like that.

I’ve felt that I’ve got no one to talk to about this. I’m glad I’ve found this forum and able to get this off my chest.

Seeking help is the next step.

Thanks everyone.

[Gambit87]

Hi Jess B,

Good on ya for talking to your GP and psychologist!

I've taken the first steps and have talked to my GP. The next step would be to organise an action plan and finding a therapist. Overall, I think im doing pretty well. Some days my mind is so clear and calm but others my mind is a train wreck of obsession.

when a intrusive thought pops into my head, I obsess over it - think im a bad person etc. I say to myself '**** intrusive thoughts! they are not me, and I am not them! I am better then that' and try to move on by distracting myself. it seems to help a bit - I just need to get better at it.

At the moment im focusing on self care - meditating, long walks, fishing, martial arts etc. It helps quite a bit! Ive also been thinking about some of the root causes for my obsessions and I think one of them is stress. I find it really hard to decompress! especially when im not working. I feel like a clinched fist that slowly unclinches after a few days off - but never fully opens but then tightens back up come monday morning!

I feel like im making progress though and thats the important thing!

we got this 🙂

[jess_b]

Hey Gambit87,

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me I really appreciate your words!
They are very comforting to hear because I feel the same way some days I feel so good and clear and like myself again and then all of a sudden something will trigger it or I’ll go “hey I havnt thought about that today” and guess who starts thinking about it 🙄

I definitely agree I have found standing up to myself and going no that’s not me and I’m in control here has helped so much, so I am glad it’s helped you too!!

so glad you’re feeling like you’re working through things I can feel myself a bit more at ease and can’t wait for the opportunity to clear some things up with a psychologist! Maybe you need some time off or a weekend away would be great for you 🌞

Stay in touch, would love to hear how you’re going in the future

Jess