Overthinking - Heres my current situation

[Guest_843]

Hi there,
This is a bit ridiculous but its casing me so much stress

Heres a backstory,
So back in year 3 this girl lets call her A, A used to apparently talk about me behind my back, didn't think much of it and since then we have been in classes together, partners in cooking and she sits with my group of friends at recess currently. In June 2016 she unfollowed me on Instagram (wow yes I know thats ridiculous), anyway since then I've always been second guessing stuff she does like if i walk past her and i hear her laugh I always think its about me and stuff like that. One time I thought she was laughing about me when i walked past but I found out later she actually wasn't laughing about me, she mentioned the situation to a group of people my sister was sitting with and my sister realised it wasn't about me and said to A (oh My sister (me) thought you were laughing at her ) which A was not laughing at me. That was the only time 2 years ago that she found out I sometimes question if she's talking about me or not.

Anyway I haven't questioned anything she's done since the end of last year, until Saturday.

I was scrolling through facebook and A had commented on one of those funny posts tagging one of her friends in it.
The post said:

When someone you hate is breathing

Immediately I think this is about me
and when someone you hates breaths what does that even mean you want them to stop breathing? and what die ?

(i don't know thats a bit of a stretch) oops

anyway As friend that was tagged in the when someone you hate breaths post mentioned something about her brother
which made me think that maybe A, tagged her friend in that because her friend has experienced something like that before like because As friend mentioned her brother.

the post was not posted by A she must of just found them and thought they were relatable to her and her friend so she tagged her friend in it and the post was posted last year i just found it last week.

My sister says its absolutely not about me and that A wouldn't even think of me or I wouldn't even come to her mind or her friends mind when she tagged her friend in this post or any for that matter

All the posts A has ever liked, tagged people have never raised any concern just this one

But i can't shake the feeling that this isabout me, Its like an elephant is sitting on my chest. Its almost like i know but I also don't.

Do you think its just the anxiety talking?
Sorry this is so long I wanted to get it all out

[Guest_843]

Hi Pamela,

Im 18 and just about to finish school this year

I think you've nailed exactly what I'm going through with your reply it really made me understand things.

I think definitely my mind is replaying old memories between me and A from the past, so i think I connect anything I find a bit iffy, back to somehow its about me but I think I have to realise that things are aa bout different now and she really pays no attention to me and Im not someone that would come to her mind.

My sister does a very good job at explaining things to me, giving me other solutions as she does not think like me and also she knows this girl probably better than I do and goes on and on she doesn't hate you she wouldn't even think about you which is reassuring

So know its up to me, I can logically understand but I still fill a little tense and upset when I keep second guessing everything about this situation ( which I can't believe I'm still going on about it )

anyway Thankyou so much for your help

[Guest_843]

Hi there,

Thankyou for your reply it really helped

I like that you mentioned the fact I can understand that its not about me ( and yes I think Im there ) but believing it is hard because I still feel so upset about this whole situation and there is absolutely no evidence that this is about me I just assume because it involved A.

Im getting there slowly

Thankyou so much

[PamelaR]

Hello Elle

Thanks for replying. It's so good to hear back from people. Thanks.

Yes, you are very young, so things and life can seem 'huge' / 'overwhelming' at times. It takes so much effort to keep you head 'straight'. Can relate to that. I was so much in making up stories about what people thought of me. Of course they were all 'NEGATIVE'. But in reality that was not true. At that time (during my teens) I never questioned my own thoughts (just believed them). Now many decades on, I have made a huge effort to contact my high school friends (who I hadn't seen since school). We now meet up every 3 months. Wow, you've no idea - those stories were my OWN.

Hold on to the stories your sister gives you. She sounds a great friend and confident who will help you. At the same time, think about whether it might be good for you to talk with a professional, e.g. GP about your 'anxious' feelings.

Thanks once again for replying.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Guest_843]

Thankyou so much for your help

[PamelaR]

Really my pleasure Elle. Hope it provides some assistance.

Care to you

PamelaR

[Doolhof]

Hi Elle,

Our minds like to tell us all kinds of stories. It does seem at times it is easy to believe all of our thoughts, even when they are not accurate.

Hopefully by sharing how you are feeling here, and by receiving all of these wonderful replies from different people, if a situation like this happens again, you will have greater understanding of how our minds work!

A little bit of doubt can grow into uncertainty, and a whole lot of incorrect thoughts can invade our minds.

Well done to you for wanting to sort all of this out. Hopefully you can move on now.

Cheers from Dools

[Guest_843]

Hi there,

I loved the way you put your reply you and everyone here have helped a lot

Thankyou so much

[Doolhof]

Hi Elle,

It is wonderful this forum is here for everyone! When I first joined, I really needed so much help, the assistance, advise and support I received and still receive is wonderful.

Please know you are welcome here any time you need to share something Elle, no matter what it is. Not sure if you have had a look else where on the forum. There is a section for younger people, fun stuff to be involved in, a virtual café and so much more.

Cheers again from Dools

[Guest_843]

Thankyou so much