One little mistake at work and I might have lost everything I've worked for :'(

Confused777
Community Member
Long story short, just over one week ago I was working and had a member of the public verbally attack me and was so aggressive that I accidentally said 'F you' when I walked away. I spent the next two days beating myself up over how I responded and things started to get better at work until yesterday. I was pulled into my managers office and handed a letter saying I am now under investigation because this guy (who yelled at me, waived his hands in my face, was towering over me and every time I took a step back he would take a step forwards to stay in my personal space) has put in a complaint about me and I'm at risk of losing a promotion to my dream job which I was just offered (they called me and said they had to retract the verbal offer whilst I am under investigation). I have worked my butt off and have never had any issues, have never had any confrontations in my life, but one little mistake and moment of weakness may have just destroyed my career. I don't know how long this investigation will take. I have a meeting on Thursday to respond to the allegation but I don't know what will happen next. And I don't know if this will mean I don't have a chance of getting re-offered the promotion.
I haven't slept, my anxiety is through the roof, I keep breaking down in tears, and my partner and family keep telling me to stay strong and positive but I don't think I have any more strength left in me. I feel like I've been hit by a bus and am petrified that I will lose this job. I'm trying to stay positive but I am struggling so much right now and I don't know how I can keep going. I know that I might be overreacting and I'm hopeful that my manager will have my back and it will all work out, but I keep returning to the worst case scenario and I don't know how I can get through the rest of this week. How can I get through this?
1 Reply 1

tranzcrybe
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

I guess in hindsight you wish you had gone to your boss to denounce the customer's behaviour and put forward your poor handling of the situation for complete transparency prior to the complaint. Unfortunately, this starts you off on the wrong foot, but let's break it down a little...

The customer was clearly agitated before you dropped the f - bomb, so there is a very good chance his complaint has nothing to do with your closing remark or even if he heard it on your departure. On the other hand, he was annoyed at something you were (or weren't) doing and this is more likely to be the basis of his objection - ie, not receiving the customer service to which he felt entitled (rightly or wrongly).

'Worst case scenario' is my general approach too when I stumble - and it is always never that bad in reality. This just helps to mentally prepare (and emotionally torment us) for the lesser impact in comparison. Right now you are needlessly creating scenarios out of scraps of information - you will have your chance to present your side of events and defend your actions if you feel they were justified.

My best advice to quell worry is to recreate and write down every instance of the encounter (objectively please) to see what elevated tensions for both parties. You might see he was unreasonable or even that you made a bad decision - it is what it is. Once you have a clear picture, it must be left up to the team to weigh up your actions and past performance to ascertain validity or otherwise. How would they have handled this situation in your shoes? How will you respond respectfully and in support of the complainant to find understanding? It's best not to factor in the promotion as it could easily cloud your judgement and lead to distortion of fact.

Keep it real and prepare the background work, as how you conduct yourself now may be more pertinent than you think.