Stressed!😩

[Juz16]

Hi I’m new here.

im suffering anxiety I think.

I have left a narcissistic ex of a marriage of 20 years and now still 2 years downtime track fighting asset division. He believes he is entitled to 80% - 70% of it. I’m feeling sick as I had to see him in a conciliation conference and he was so obnoxious and arrogant. He was not willing to compromise or budge, the whole conference was a waste of money. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat and my skin is breaking out in a rash. After the conference it’s looking like another 2 years of dealing with and going to court costing more money. My work has been cut back to 3 days and I’m struggling. This divorce is eating me up and cannot take it.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Juz16,

Welcome to the forum, it is so great to have you join us here. We're sorry to hear that your divorce has been so trying on you and that negotiations with your ex are not going to plan. It can be difficult to have compromising conversations with those who are just not willing to compromise. Indeed, leaving a narcissistic person and toxic relationship come with their own challenges and it makes complete sense that you may be exhausted from the tiresome back and forth. Please know that there are mental health supports for you to access if ever you need them. 

We would strongly urge that you contact 1800RESPECT. They offer 24/7 confidential information, counselling and support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice and support to anyone who has been through trauma like this. You can contact them on 1800 737 732 or visit  https://www.1800respect.org.au/ 

f you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships.  

You are not alone and the community is here to support you. Please continue to touch base with the forum and let us know how you are travelling?

[Violet12]

Hey Juz16,

That sounds really tough, and it makes a lot of sense that you're feeling stressed with all of that going on.

First, I do want to acknowledge that you did something really huge and positive for yourself in leaving that situation with your ex - that's no easy thing to do, but you did it, and I think we should recognise how much courage and self-respect that took.

A divorce is a really stressful time for anybody, and it sounds like with your work and court hearings, you are having a particularly rough time.

I'm wondering whether there are any de-stressing strategies you've used in your past during high stress times that have helped? If you think back... For example, maybe you opened up to some friends or family members to get through a tough time; maybe you took a lot of long walks, did stretches, or did some meditation/mindfulness to wind down? Maybe kept a journal? Maybe spoke to a therapist? Maybe listened to some music, or did some breathing exercises? Whatever the case may be, right now sounds like a perfect time to reach into that bag of tricks that we all have (and sometimes forget we have!) to help you through this time.

You did a great thing by just voicing how you're feeling on here - just talking and getting this stuff out into the open helps more than people realise.

Please check back in anytime.

- Violet