OCD anxiety

[kaityo1]

Hi all,

I was diagnosed with OCD at the beginning of the year, I have sought help and continue to seek help through a GP, psychiatrist, psychologist and naturopath. I also take medication. I’ve got all the right steps in place, but I still get this overwhelming feeling of things not getting better as the content I’m obsessing and distressed about involves the most disturbing thoughts I can think of (they send me into instant disgust and panic) and uncertainty as to whether these events have happened in real life and happened frequently (a lot of self doubt). I feel like I’m a ‘different’ case because many people with OCD feel they might act out these action in the future, whereas I carry the guilt and shame as if I’ve done it.

It makes me anxious to think that this could be my life forever and that I have to live with the fact that I potentially did the distressing action I’m thinking of.

[ABC01]

Dear kaityo1,

 I understand having OCD and the pressure it puts on your life and also at random moments.

 I had a cat,who passed away recently,but at night when I was doing my OCD night time routine, if I stood and stared at something too long,he would meow at me. Just looking up at me and meow. That actually broke me out of my cycle of checking that particular step. He is gone now,but I remember vividly how many times he did that for me. So now, I have what I call my “Major Meter”. I think of it as putting coins in a parking meter and that meter runs down in time. When the money runs out,the meter pings or a red flag comes up on it. It reminds me that I have a set amount of time to do my OCD step in my routine and then I HAVE to move on. There is comfort in know I have a timeframe. And that my checking is already been done to my satisfaction,but I am just stuck in a loop. The loop just needs a way to be interrupted.

Having something helpful like that might help you. It can be anything you want to visualise, like an egg timer, a stop watch, a wind up music box or a cuckoo clock. Anything where time runs out as part of it’s action.

I empathise with you and hope you find small things to help you cope.

ABC01