Not coping

[loooodle]

Hi,

First time posting in the forums here. I'm really struggling.. I'm suffering from crippling anxiety which is affecting my ability to function. I can't sleep, I'm barely eating and I just don't want to keep feeling like this.

I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but I've had it for so long that I don't remember what anything else feels like.

I've started anti-anxiety and antidepressants earlier this week but circumstances in my life are taking a real toll on me and I'm not coping.

My husband and I have a business, which is rapidly going under. We've had a terrible 12-18 months with multiple issues taking its toll on us and I've finally come to breaking point. The business has run out of money, we can't pay ourselves a wage and I'm steadily coming to terms with the fact we are going to lose everything. It's 4:30am and I've been awake since 1am thinking about everything, trying desperately to get some sleep but it never comes, I start to relax and then my body wakes up again and it all starts again. I'm currently writing a list of everything I need to get organised to move out of our rental and back with my parents.

I'm sorry if this is a rambling post, I just needed to get it out of me somewhere...

[Kazzl]

Hello loooodle, welcome to the forum, and well done for reaching out during such an awful time. I can understand how overwhelming it must feel right now - everything piling on top of you, coupled with lack of sleep.

Seeing your doc and getting medication is a good start to regaining a sense of control. I'm sure the doc would have explained that the medications will take a little while to kick in, but hopefully when they do you will start to feel better.

You could also talk with your doctor about getting on a mental health plan, that will give you up to 10 visits to a psychologist at a subsidised rate. Seeing a psych could give you the chance to talk things out with an objective person, who should also be able to give you some strategies to help you through.

In the meantime, there are some things you can try to help reduce the effects of the anxiety and stress. Something that works for me when I'm feeling overwhelmed is to break everything down into smaller issues and try to tackle them one at a time, rather than focus on the whole big situation. If your husband is willing, this is something you could do together, so you both have a sense of working through things in a productive way.

Another thing I try to do is to remember other times I've felt overwhelmed by problems -big or small - and how I managed to get through them. This gives me hope, and holding on to hope is vital in times like this. There is always hope and there is always a way through, it's just hard to see that sometimes when we're in the thick of it.

It is terrible to face the thought of losing everything - I've been in that situation and the fear for the future can be crippling. But life has a way of working things out and often what we fear most doesn't eventuate, and sometimes a new direction or opportunity presents itself. Try to be open to that possibility, stay hopeful - when the fearful and negative thoughts grip you try very hard to replace them with hopeful thoughts. Focus on what's good in your life - maybe relationships with family and friends for example. The attitudes we bring to hard situations can make a real difference - and in saying that I am not minimising how hard it is, I know.

Very best to you loooodle, keep posting and let us know how you are.

Kaz

[White_Rose]

Dear Loooodle

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. Kazzl has given you great strategies for coping and I agree with her.

Have you thought of getting some help? Here is a government address where you may find some assistance. http://www.australiabusinessgrants.org/ I know the address says grants but there is also a phone number. Hopefully someone there can refer you to a Small Business Association of some sort. It really is worth trying to find help so that you do not lose your business.

Also try ASIC. Australian Securities and Investment Commission. http://asic.gov.au/for-business/your-business/small-business/ I don't know if you have tried any of these organisations but they may be able to help you.

Mary

[loooodle]

Thank you so much for your message Kaz, it really helped me to gain some perspective on things. I ended up confiding in my parents about how low I'm feeling and they also helped to talk me through everything and to take one day at a time, which is something I'm really trying hard to do right now.

I've had an okay couple of days since posting, I feel it sitting in the back of my mind and in the pit of my stomach but I haven't been anywhere near as bad as that night - thank goodness!

I've been taking my meds, doing mindfulness activities, even using an app on my phone to help me relax and get to sleep. Sleeping has improved slightly, but still waking up during the nights (mostly because my son wants me to jump into bed with him) and I'm eating a little better as well.

I've got my mental health care plan from my GP so just need to make an appointment with my psych, which I'm putting off unfortunately due to the lack of funds at the moment. But I'm hoping to get in to see her soon. I've started applying for jobs (full time and part time) just so we don't have all our income eggs in one basket. This is something I've been thinking about doing for a while, not only for the income reason but also for my own well-being, sense of self and accomplishment and the social aspects. I think it will be good for me to have my own sense of worth, which hopefully will help with these other issues. Part of me doesn't want to go down this track though as I feel like I wont be able to give my son the time with me that he needs, but other people manage to do it, so I should too!

[loooodle]

Hi Mary,

Thank you so much for your advice.

I hadn't thought of the options that you mentioned in your post, so thank you so much for that. Thankfully we had a slightly better weekend than we have had in the past few months, so we got some money in the door. Things are still far from good, but at least in the short term we should be able to pay ourselves a wage this week while I'm still waiting to hear back from the jobs I've applied for.

It's been a real wake-up call for me, I don't ever want to feel that way again so I'm going to do everything in my power to not get there. I've started going through our expenses (personal) and cutting back unnecessary costs as much as possible and just getting better deals for what we need.

Things aren't rosy just yet, but I can see a light at the end of the very long tunnel!

Thank you again for your support - it helps so much to just have someone to talk to.

[White_Rose]

Hello Loooodle

So pleased to know you are feeling so much better and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I suggested the above organisations because I was wondering if you had thought of getting professional business help. I hope you can get some help and turn your business around. Hope is a great energiser.

It's great to hear you are engaging with a mental health professional as well. Lots of avenues of help I hope will bring you back to a secure life. There may be days ahead when you feel down. Sadly we are human and have our off-days. Remember your path at this time and perhaps look back and see how far you have come. I worked with a colleague who would point out how far I had travelled on those days when I felt nothing had improved. It really helps.

Mary