Anxiety and my astrology addiction

[BrokenHearted88]

I struggle with diagnosed GAD which I currently treat with
regular psychology sessions and meditation as I wish to avoid taking
medications where possible. I was on medication for many years and I felt like
I was using it as a band-aid and not truly dealing with the issues that caused
my anxiety.

My anxiety is very high at the moment. I recently experienced
a traumatic event and have been on high alert ever since. Many years ago I used
to treat my alcohol with substance abuse, both alcohol and drugs, and I have
also been known to become quite addicted to eating.

Generally speaking, I am very healthy at the moment. I don’t drink
much or take any drugs, have a healthy diet & exercise/meditate regularly.

But I have recently realized that I have developed an addiction to astrology.

I know this may sound silly to some people and not like
something you can become addicted to but it has reached a point where it is not
only taking over most of my life but also controlling the way I think and act.

I use horoscopes, tarot readings, angel card reading &
yes/no Q&A apps to decide how I feel, what I should do and what other
people must be feeling about me. I am using these in an obsessive way and it is
further fueled by my increasing anxiety.

I have recently starting seeing someone new and I am trying
to hide my anxiety from him so I don’t scare him away and because of that it is
spilling out in other ways. This is the first person I have really liked and
really want to try a relationship with since I broke up with my ex a year ago
and although it is early days I feel like my anxiety will send him running for
the hills. Who wants to deal with an anxious obsessive partner right?

I use astrology every day. Many times a day. It distracts me
from work and I feel embarrassed about it like it’s a dirty little secret I’m
hiding. Which probably fuels my anxiety
further.

I have always been interested in astrology and I have noticed
I turn to it during periods of high stress and anxiety to help get me through
making the tough decisions and it’s almost like I have someone there telling me
I am making the right decisions, because I don’t trust my own feelings.

I am not sure what question I am trying to ask here. I
suppose has anyone else turned to astrology to help manage their anxious
thoughts and how
have others stopped in the past? Have you just stopped and it was that easy or
does it take time like any other addiction?

Thank you in advance for your support

[JessF]

Hello Broken Hearted, I'm not an expert in addictions but I wonder whether this is something you could treat in the same way that you would treat any other bad habit that you want to break, like eating junk food for example.

It sounds to me like you've already taken the important step of realising why you are doing this, that you are fearful of making your own decisions so you are 'outsourcing' this somewhere else.

As an anxious person myself, I have found that when making big decisions I will make a pros and cons list. In a way, this is somewhat similar to what you are doing at the moment with using astrology, you are no doubt reading various things and looking for reasons to support or contradict a decision you have already made in your heart. The difference with the pros and cons list is that you are working with factual information.

Could you try the next time you have a decision to make, and you find yourself going towards astrology, say STOP in your head, and instead take out a notepad and a pen (or use your phone if you have a notes application there). Write out the decision, and put your gut feeling of what you want to do underneath. Then start weighing up the pros and cons, write each one out.

Have you talked to your psychologist about this at all?

I hope you'll come back and talk to us more about this, I would be keen to know if you find the pros and cons list idea as helpful as I have.

[BrokenHearted88]

Hi Jess, thank you so much for your response. I think a pros and cons list is a great suggestion and it's definitely worth trying.

I haven't spoken to my psych about this as I'm a: a bit embarrassed about it and b: only just realising how much it consumes my life.

i felt more comfortable first reaching out to an annonomous forum to see if it was in fact a problem or something to be embarrassed about.

I do really struggle with opening up in real life and that's partly why I turn to astrology . It provides answers where there are none. Even if those answers are made up by an internet application and yes you're spot on about finding an answer to suit what I want to hear. Which I guess is ultimately me making that decision anyway.

I really think a pros and cons list will help me maybe own my decisions a bit more.

I suppose the astrology makes me feel like I have some control over situations in my life, like I have window into the outcome before it's happened. Even though that's not possible.

I appreciate your feedback 🙂

[Starwolf]

Hi Brokenhearted,

No matter what we are addicted to, the end result is loss of freedom. If left unchecked, it will infiltrate and mess up every area of life.

Please bear in mind that DIY divining does not give you access to external guidance, may it be angelic or other. All it does is open the floodgate of your own subconscious, a medley of a few good things and a hell of a lot of negative ones, often judged too unacceptable to make it into the conscious mind. For obvious reasons, often more misleading than helpful.

Tarot cards can be interpreted in many different ways and according to a sound or incomplete knowledge of symbolism. Meaning also depends on reading context. When we do it for ourselves, the mind tends to do it in a way that confirms its own entrenched patterns (the reason why the result often makes sense to us). That's why having someone else do it will -perhaps- bring more accurate results (that is if they really know their stuff). Perhaps because you are still the one picking the cards. At the best, a well executed reading will give you an idea of prevailing tendencies at the time. No set in stone answers. Only charlatans will give set answers.

How do I know ? Because I learned Tarot and I Ching reading from people who were well-versed in the art. I never, ever read for myself and very seldom for other people. Because I am aware of the responsibility attached to it and of the limitations and fluctuations involved.

Asking for guidance when at a loss for answers is tempting. But asking your subconscious to make decisions for the conscious mind to act on could backfire big time.

I hope some of this is helpful.

Please take care.