No emotional support

[Jane24]

I've struggled with anxiety for many years, however lately I've lost my support system. I'm not working currently due to my anxiety, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me a few months ago, my 4 good friends have moved to different countries/interstate. My parents aren't good at emotional support, they care but exacerbate my stress by trying to "force me out of it". My sisters aren't understanding of mental health problems & don't want to hear about it.

I've had professional help in the past, but talking to someone for an hour a week isn't helpful, the last two psychs moved away as well. I just want a hug and someone to listen and care for me, go and have a coffee and nice time with. But I'm crying or panicking everyday & feel too overwhelmed to work again or meet anyone new. I don't want to push someone else away with talking about my issues. How do other people cope with it on their own?

[quirkywords]

Jane,

Welcome to the forum.

Within in such a short period of time you lost your support network so that would be very difficult to adjust to.

You describe what you want so simply and so well, a hug, someone to listen and care for you, and to have coffee with and a chat. How hard can that be?

It is hard when you are coping and grieving with the loss of your support system.

As you realise when you are crying and panicking and too overwhelmed to meet anyone , or get work, it becomes an endless circle- you need confidence to make new friends , and to get confidence and stop crying you need friends.

You may not feel up to meeting people but small steps. If you just go for a walk each day, it will get you outside.

There are support lines you can call.

Beyond Blue Support line offers support advice action, 1300 22 4636.

Thanks for taking the first step by writing your post.

Quirky

[Lici]

Hi Jane,

I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your support system, it can be hard to feel that no-one understands. I only have 2 friends and my family doesn't do emotions well so I know how you feel.

I noticed you said that you find talking not helpful for you and that your psychs had done this in the past. I had the same problem as I don't find talking helpful but what I did find helpful was finding a psych that concentrated on cognitive behavioural therapy. I was wondering if you've tried this at all? I find that having active things to do at home and analysing my reactions to things etc a lot more helpful than talking about things. Maybe this will be helpful for you? If you think it might, I'd suggest looking for a psych that focuses on cbt rather than psychoanalysis. I also found keeping a journal helpful when I was experiencing panic attacks. By writing down what I was feeling and then trying to work out why and what the trigger was helped calm me down.

I hope this helps some and that you feel better soon.

Kind regards,

Lici

[Doolhof]

Hi Jane 24,

Sorry to read the people who have supported yo are no longer there for you. I find that my family don't really understand my mental health issues. When I am with them, I try to make the most of that time together by not expecting them to help with something they obviously don't know how to handle.

There are some great resources available from Beyond Blue. I'd like to recommend you look at the resource section and see if some of that helps you.

Is it possible for you to do some volunteer work to get you out and meeting different people?

Using the phone help lines is of benefit to me when I am feeling all alone.

There are lots of different sections to this forum as well, once you feel more comfortable here, you might like to have a look around and join in with some of the other sections.

Cheers to you from Dools

[Jane24]

Thanks everyone. It's nice to know that I'm not so alone & that others are experiencing similar hurdles! I'll have a look at all of those suggestions. Thanks so much for taking the time to reply 🙂

[Doolhof]

Hi Jane24,

One of the great things about this forum is that you can discuss how you are feeling and once you have some replies, realise that other people experience the same thing or something very similar.

Hopefully suggestions that are made to you will be beneficial. We are all people on a journey though issues in our lives and try to help each other where and how we can.

Recently I joined a craft group that meets in a library. The ladies were very welcoming. I don't always feel like I fit in, but maybe that is more my depression talking to me!

There may be social groups in your area you could join. Local Churches sometimes have different groups as well, or a community centre. The local council may have some idea what is near you. Joining a walking group would be a way to meet new people.

Sometimes we need to think outside of the box!

Hope you have a good day! I am joining a bunch of older ladies from Church for lunch. Friends can come in all shapes and sizes, and age too!

Cheers from Dools