New Job, struggling to learn, feeling very anxious, co worker rude and impatient

[SHELBY MUSTANG]

Hi there after many years I managed to secure a government administration job, its only casual bit I work full time.

I have been in the job only 9 days so far and the office is short staffed and everyone is overworked, I am expected to watch what everyone does and take detailed notes, the only problem is I still do not have computer access and the training manual is several years out of date.

Last week, I was left to work on my own processing transactions and whenever I was unsure I had to ask my co worker for help, she also logged onto a spare pc so I could work. My co worker is very grumpy, impatient and unapproachable, every time I asked her a question she would roll her eyes and ask why didn't I take notes when I couldn't find the relevant spreadsheets etc. I already have a folder full of handwritten notes in this job and feel I am overloaded. This co worker has been in the job many many years so everything is 2nd nature to her and she would have been in my position once as a newbie.

I can do say 75% of the job myself, but need help with bits and pieces to fill in the blanks especially the complex software with its myriad of menus.

If you read my past threads and posts, I have resigned from jobs if it is a toxic environment or feel I am being exploited, life is too short, but I want to hold onto this job as it pays well and I need to put more money into my savings and retirement accounts.

The other office workers are fine, so I will do my best to avoid this particular individual if the others are in. One of the other girls has been there several months and said she still doesn't know everything so I take some comfort in that.

Maybe I am being paranoid as I do have a few self esteem problems, I haven't been sleeping at night and have to wake up early for this job at 5.00am. I used to take sleeping pills, but they make me very drowsy the next day and I cant afford to be switched off in this job.

I also feel my anxiety may also be causing some brain fog, confusion and forgetfulness. I had to ring a few people for making a couple of mistakes, nothing major, didn't cost the company any money etc, but not a good look to those affected and I wanted to take ownership of my mistakes and build up a relationship with clients and not have them remember me as the guy who makes mistakes.

Thanks for reading, I needed to vent as I am always anxious now in my time off now wondering how bad my upcoming work day will be.

[Jack2021]

Hiya Shelby, I can totally relate to you here, I'm actually taking time off work myself since last week due to severe depression, stress and anxiety, which reached a breaking point last week (long story)

But anyway I definately know what it's like working casual for many years..it bloody sucks...Ive worked in a lot of places too, and equally I've resigned from jobs where I felt there were toxic environments or I felt I was being exploited or taken advantage of/ treated unfairly...totally agree with you, life is too short, and you gotta be able to at least be happy in your job 😊

I agree it's pretty unreasonable how your workplace and some of your coworker's operate, but so sadly I've seen it and experienced it so many times before, I was having the same worries myself as well as you (wanting to stay in a well paid job and save money) but the place and co-workers I was working with got to the point of seriously affecting my mental health, so I had to put myself first and I'm so glad I did, I feel a lot better no longer working there 😂

So I think it's really up to you to have a hard look at the working environment and co workers and realistically ask yourself if you see it working out for you, if you want to stay and try to learn and get better at the job and make it your own, that's great, I've seen and had it happen before and it's quite a rewarding experience....on the otherhand, if you don't feel it's the right fit and you feel like it's affecting your mental health, you have every right as a human being to put yourself first and leave a toxic environment...it feels really great I've also been there done that 😊

I hope work gets better for you, stay or leave it's your decision and I'm sure you can make it work whatever you choose 😊😊