My journey the past 6 weeks. I'll update as changes occur

[LesDave]

You might be interested in hearing how I get through the next few weeks. So I'm journaling it.

Some background. I was really struggling with stressful job after job. I quit in October last year because it was all coming in on me. I spent the first 3 months trying to heal. Then the anxiety returned as I realised I needed money and a job. Late February and March were awful. I was driven to tears many times. I started to really get better at self awareness and acceptance and commitment therapy. Out of the blue in late March, I got an offer from a job I was turned down for. So I took it. Well, it was out of the pot into the frying pan. It was so stressful and I made mistake after mistake. It took all my strength not to fall in to a heap. I ended up taking a day off to cope with the stress. Eventually it eased as the project I was on went into a lag period prior to turning on. Well it went live this week and it's a mess. I am really struggling again. I have taken today off. After yesterday (I realise it isn't showing great courage) I felt guilty, and felt really stressed. Trying to stay in the present moment at the moment is difficult. I had no sleep last night worrying about the damage I caused through my mistakes.

Today I plan to try and walk for 3 hours to get rid of the stress hormones. I will try to get into the present moment. I plan to focus on eating better, getting into the present moment, and exercise. If I can get through the next 2 weeks without breaking down it will be a serious victory. I will keep you informed.

[blondguy]

Hey Les

I am a latecomer to your thread

I have had ongoing chronic anxiety for a while now and understand the pain and anguish you are going through

You are a strong and proactive person even by just reading how you have reached out on the forums

my kind thoughts always Les

Paul

[LesDave]

It took a great deal of effort but I got through the week with very low anxiety. I tried to focus on the things I am grateful for, and tried to stop thinking about myself so much. I still had some real doubts as I left work last night but I managed to get through it. Today I got the blues pretty bad, but I figure that happens to everyone.

[Billyc]

Hi les

congratulations on your week, be proud of yourself,

have you thought about rewarding yourself for your persistence?

Very best

[LesDave]

It's been a week since the last post. I can honestly say I have only had fleeting moments of anxiety this past week. I have noticed how much better I am at dragging myself back to the here and now. I have actually started to notice how stressed out other people are instead, and offering to help them.

[geoff]

Hi LesDave, just wondering about how you are going.

These other people who seem to be stressed and you are offering to help is great, that's a strength we learn from being there ourselves, but remember to look after yourself.

Geoff.

[LesDave]

Right now, right at this very moment, I am on a bit of a downer. But that's because I am finishing up the work I am doing and heading off on another gig up North for a few months. I can honestly say the work I've done in the past 2 weeks is the best I have done for many many years. I was thrown into a project that had gone off the rails. In 2 weeks I've got it back on track and left them in a good space, with their confidence back. Being free of anxiety allowed me to look in without any constraints and make wise decisions. I hope I can continue to work like this over the next few months. And yes, I can now see it in other people. When I see it, I offer help.

[geoff]

Hi LesDave, whenever anyone leaves a job where they feel as though they have accomplished something in their own mind, then it's sad for them to leave.

The work you have done in the last two weeks is something you should be proud of and that's great, remember you can do this when you move north.

Can you see that being able to overcome this yourself, shows how much you can help other people, but more importantly recognise the signs.

Geoff.

[Snoopy88]

Hi lesdave,

how did you do it overcame anxiety at worked really well at work. I have had really bad anxiety and I do a low paying job just work 3 days a week. I get anxiety attacks really bad ones. Like I had a fall out with someone at work and that triggers it at work. I get racing thoughts her name keeps popping up in my mind and so does her face. I keep thinking what will I say to her how will she react. And it keeps going in crickets It’s really scary place. Any advice you can give me.

[LesDave]

Much of what I did is in the SELF HELP TIPS at the top of this forum on anxiety. It takes a lot of work and a lot of practice. Basically you need to really develop your self awareness and get into the here and now. I also took some hints and tips from self help tips on ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy). Don't get me wrong, it hasn't gone away. I had a real battle with anxiety today that seemed to come out of nowhere. All of a sudden I started worrying about something I had done and what others would be saying about me. I had to bring myself back to the here and now and stop the silly negative rubbish. What I actually did was call the boss and talk through it with him. Surprise surprise, he was actually happy with what I had done and recognised I may have a small error that was part of a learning process, AND, they probably needed to document things better.