Moving and feeling overwhelmed anxiety

[Freya10]

Hi all,

Thanks for your time.

I need some advice. We used to live in an area for 8 years and had to sell our house. We moved to a rental down in a much quieter seaside town where it's sleepy except tourist season. 40 mins away

We have a 7 and 4 year old and my husband has to travel over an hour too and from work each day.

We are looking at moving back to where we used to live for closer for my husband for work, more opportunity for me when i start work full time next year. And give the kids more opportunity in general with more things around them.

My son has also started a sport down our old way (which is 40mins travel) to and from each week and its not available any closer so it's making it a long day and night after school.

The thing is when we look at it all on paper it seems sensible to move back and family is down that way too.

When i think about really doing it and sorting school and kinder it makes me freak out a little.

I'm just so scared of making the wrong choice for the kids and pulling them out of where they have been used too with school and kinder. It's a big deal to get used to a new house and new school and somewhat a new area.

we have also seen the perfect house we would love to rent (if we get it) but it we do get it we could be moving in a months time! I was thinking of just traveling back to the kids school and kinder until we get settled but not sure if i should...

Even though it's 40mins back down the road why does it feel so big!?

I feel like i can't make a decision anymore.

😞

[Alexlisa]

Hello Freya,

It’s great that you’ve reached out here, though I’m sorry for the slow response. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and it’s really overwhelming. I can’t really help with what the right decision would be for you and your family, but it does sound like there are plenty of reasons to make the move. I hear that you’re worried about the short term stress of it all, which is definitely valid too. And it may just be not the right time.

Are there friends or family that would be able to help with the transition? It’s often the case that those close to us would help out if asked, it’s usually that we just don’t ask though. I’ve been told the key to getting real help is to give people specific tasks so they can feel certain they’re helping and so, be happier to do it. Asking for help is hard though, I get it.

Like so many things in life, that saying “short-term pain leads to long-term gain” could apply here. But I know, it doesn’t make the stress of the situation any easier. I wish you luck in your decision and take care.

Alexlisa

[lumos]

Hi Freya,

I moved last year for my husband's work- 2.5 hours away, from a city to a country town. Kids had to change schools, I had to change jobs. It hasn't been easy and if it was just me, I would move back in a second. I can't see there being any good coming from swapping the kids' schools so quickly, they have not really made a lot of friends in this town (it's very country sporty and we aren't those kind of people), but it's not good for their wellbeing to yoink them from here to there every couple of years, I don't think.

There are so many things to think about and it's overwhelming so I totally understand where you are coming from. Will the grass be greener? I don't know. There is something about going back to what you know, at least you have some solid ground and family support.

My practical advice it to start making lists of things to do- sell, keep, store etc. If you make a move, talk it through with the older one. How many people are you still friends with from primary school? Most adults I know formed their friendships later in life, so it's getting through the short term that will need planning. Good luck!