Managing crippling anxiety at work

[Shannelle]

Hey,
I’m a 24 year old young professional female who is starting to find the brunt of work life and financial hardship increasing my anxiety and depression to no ends.

My family all have serious mental health issues including generalized anxiety, bipolar disorder, severe depression but for years I thought I could manage my anxiety and depression without seeking help or taking medication. For a long time, I actually thought I didn’t suffer any mental illness and even now I still question myself.

It’s only been in the last year and a half that I’ve found I seem to be sinking lower and lower. My boss has pulled me up numerous times in the last year and questions everything from forgetting things at work, for stumbling my words or having to leave a meeting when I have a panic attack. She says that when I first started we were on the same page and now she feels like she doesn’t even know who I am. I wish I could tell her that I feel the same way! I feel hopeless at work, like I can’t do anything right which really gets me down and most days I can’t concentrate for longer than 5 minutes on any work. Every time someone goes into a meeting or through a door where I can’t see them, I am paranoid they are talking about me and that they are going to fire me or I make up the most absurd things in my head to the point where I cant think of anything else except that. I am constantly chewing on pen lids or biting my nails quite badly and at first it was only at work, but now its happening at home or when I’m with friends.
On top of this I have been in debt for about a year and the thought of even opening an envelope or mail is almost impossible. I haven’t been able to answer a phone call outside of work for months, and even when I answer a call at work I find that my words come out stewed. This is so strange to me because I’ve always been so confident and vocal and to think I’m now someone who can’t even get words out of my mouth or that I stutter my words on a daily basis is really messing with my overall confidence. I really need to seek help, but even then I feel embarrassed and that I’m making it all up in my head and I’m actually fine. I don’t know when I became such a blur but its taking over my day to day and I would really like someone to talk to about it.

[Hope_for_the_best]

Welcome to the forum, Shannelle. I am sorry to hear what you are going through. What you describe is totally valid, and you are not making it all up in your head. It is good that you reach out here, but I would strongly recommend that you go to your GP asap. You definitely need some help, be it medication or counselling, or both, to get you back on track. Get well soon.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Shannelle,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for being here.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time. It sounds like in the last 18 months or so things have really gotten worse and now they're at the point where it's overwhelming and too much. I hear that you want to get some help but feel like you're making it up and that everything's fine.

I really think that it's important for you to reach out so you can get the help that you need so I kinda want to talk about that in my reply 🙂

People can have pretty vivid imaginations yes, but what would be the point in you making all of this up? You're not getting anything out of it; it's not fun, and it sounds like it's really impacting your work. That doesn't sound like anything someone would want to make up.

I can also see from your post that things aren't fine. You're having a hard time. That's why you're here. Can you flip it in your mind for a sec - like if you saw a post on here that was from someone else that said the same thing, would you think that they're fine and don't need help? It doesn't matter how big or small someone's problems are or feel - they're still worthy of getting help. There's not a measure of 'difficultness' that qualifies someone to get help.

I'm not sure if any of this is helpful or not but I wanted to really challenge that;- if things are hard, you can reach out. We would love to be that place for you and a therapist can be that place for you too.

[graysky]

Dear Shanelle,

I can relate to this. This is somewhat similar to my everyday experience at work. Things like people talking behind my back or bullying me over forgetting things or not being efficient enough make me feel so anxious.
The best advice is getting help from DR / psychologist. I don't really have much advice for getting through each day. That to me is the hardest part, just getting through each day when you're battling anxiety. I try and count the hours. I feel good by making it through one hour of work and use breathing techniques as well to ease some of the physical anxiety. You can always post here if it helps you.

[smallwolf]

Hi,

I had/have a similar issue with work related anxiety - my symptoms were more physical than ... but I would constantly question what I was doing in my head, with feelings of failure and every other cognitive disorder you can think of.

My first call was to my parents, and then a doctor and now I see a psych. periodically. In each conversation, I said that I had three options... the first was to maintain the status quo, the second was remedy the situation or quit/resign, and....

Regardless I had to speak to the powers that be at work about the stresses I was feeling. This was advice from both my parents and psych. Work has tried to make things easier, but it is a long and slow road.

My father (mid 70s) is on anti-depressants, and was told by doctor and psych that if there a family history you are more likely to suffer from *it* as well.

The prev. posters have all suggested going to a GP, and typically would be a double appointment for anxiety/depression. As far it might be to take that first step, there is a relief (at least for me) knowing that you were not making it up, and there are things that can be done to make it manageable.

SM

[cakeboss]

Hi Shanelle i to suffer anxiety panic disorder and panic attacks.Ive been going great for quite awhile and out of no no where anxiety and panic and panic attacks are back.Im currently having counciling which is great .I do not feel myself and i hate it ,it goes from when i wake up to when i go to bed .Ive increased some meds with gp and told wait a week .I cant wait that long im going back today to gp .I did go for a swim this morning and it was nice which is fantastic .Today proberly the first day out of 5 that ive been able to do things.I to go work if i dont go dont get paid so no choice .I just want my normal self back .I hate the not eating and nausea its setting my anxiety levels up high.I do have a fantastic gp and ive got a app next friday with a psycitrist to review my meds so yea.I am pushing myself to do things and trying to stay in the moment .i hide my anxiety sometimes but lately havnt been able to .I cant wait to feel great again at least im going back to see gp she will help