Don't know what to do.

[harrypotterntheturtle]

Hi there, basically im really struggling atm. My boyfriend is possibly getting deployed overseas sometime this year for 6+ months, and I just dont know how to deal/cope with this. I cant stop crying. We dont even know if he is actually going yet but I just cant put my mind to ease, I cant stop thinking negatively about my future. Like I know he will be back eventually but I just keep replaying over and over in my head how crap my life will be if hes not around. Because of this, im beginning to overthink about uni. Im starting next week and my mind thinks I wont be able to study if he goes because I cant be without him. Its strange because I know how to be independent, but I cant help but feel like this and dont know how to make it stop. Im sick of feeling like this and Im damn well sick of crying.

When I was younger I refused to go on school camps because I didnt want to be without my mum. My parents would pay for the camps and when it was close to the time of leaving id just cry and cry and I would end up staying home. It was the worst feeling ever and even then I hated that I felt like that but I couldnt help it.

Right now feels like a repeat of when I was younger. It just consumes me and I don't know what to do

[white knight]

Hi hp, welcome

Crying was full on when I was younger than 54yo, all throughout that period. Then I hot help, a good diagnosis and the right meds and here I am.

So its essential you attend your GP as there seems some insecurities are also.

Its hard when a loved one is deployed overseas. We thank him for his service. He needs to know you are ok because he'll have a lot on his mind.

These might help. Use google

Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue

Topic: dysthymia- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: distraction and variety- beyondblue

There are many more on this site. I hope that tackles a few issues. We are here to help.

Tony WK

[Liana7]

Hi HP, I understand how you feel, sounds like you have separation anxiety, I know how it feels. Interesting that you mentioned camp, I remember being very upset when I was sent to camp when I was a kid and I ran away from it. Hope you'll find a way to deal with separation with your boyfriend, you can talk on Skype and have long distant relationship for 6 months.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey harrypotterntheturtle,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out!

I'm sorry that you're struggling with this. It sounds like it's causing so much anxiety just the thought of your boyfriend going away and reminds you of what it was like at camp.

I think though the difference now is that you're not that same kid you were at camp. Like you said yourself, you know how to be independent now. When we are younger it makes so much sense that we don't want to leave - we don't always have those skills to know how to be on our own or to trust that things will be okay. But now - you do. You're smarter and more independent then what you were when you were younger.

What's it like thinking that you can't be without him while you also know that you can be independent? What do you think will happen - is it a fear of feeling lonely? Or getting overwhelmed and not having that shoulder to cry on? If you can - really think and figure out what your fear 'actually is'. You know in hindsight that you can be without him, so if you can - see if you can work out what it is exactly that causes so much anxiety.

I know that this is so much easier said than done!! But I also know that you're such a different person then you were younger so it doesn't have to be a repeat.