Lost hope and need a friend

[Music_Freak]

I'm a girl...Narelle, 36, from Adelaide, single, unemployed, cat mum...um, what else...I probably shouldn't reveal so much, but may as well be honest, right?

I have both anxiety and depression, and am a pessimist. I have lost all my "friends" because of this and feel worthless and like giving up. I have a GP and a psychologist, but I'm not even sure the therapy (I've been going for a few years now) is working for me.

I have two favourite bands (Sixx:A.M. and Halestorm. True Violet is another on the top of my list right now) and I write band fan fiction. In the past I have depended on these two things to help me through life, but now that they're not really working, I decided to try here.

I just hope to have people to talk to, and maybe make some friends.

[Music_Freak]

I have heard of a cricket museum at Adelaide oval, but I have never been, sport isn't really a big thing, for me either.

I did love looking at the displays at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas when I was there in 2012 🙂

Oh dear, I typed except instead of accept...that's almost as good as not realising California isn't a city in a game in the social zone 🙂

[Guest_1055]

Maybe that is the same museum then??

You have been to Las Vegas, so what was the display you saw then? Is the hard rock hotel something special? I haven't been to the USA. But I have been to the UK.

Those two words "accept" and "except" to be honest I think I am the one who needs to do revision on spelling 🙂

I am about to go and eat some dinner, have you had yours yet? And what do you normally feed Buddy?

[Music_Freak]

I went over to see Motley Crue. Met some lovely locals, but got screwed over by a so called friend, so it's hard to focus on the good that happened sometimes.

I'd love to go to the UK, I always wanted to treat my mum to a trip over there, but never had a job/enough money because she had a friend she'd known for years in Bath.

Had sausages and mash with veggies for tea. Was a bit meh about it as eating has become a chore of late, but Buddy helped me eat the sausages and mash potato, he got a little bit of gravy too 🙂

He normally has whiskas, but he always get treats, he got meat after walking around the car too. Spoilt brat! 🙂

[Guest_1055]

Hi dear Narelle, I am sorry your friends were not kind to you. I guess these sort of people are not good to have as friends anyway.

Oh yum I like mashed potatoes, especially with mushroom gravy smothered on them.

You are right it is a challenge to see the good out there. There have been a couple of strategies that I use to help myself see the good and often beautiful side of life. It is there it is just I think depression clouds our eyes, and it can be a challenge to notice.

One thing is I write down things, people or animals even that I am thankful for. Just make a list.I do this and properly should do it more when I feel negative or when like life just seems unfair. You can always find something if you just look hard enough. I have even felt thankful for my soft pillow. 

Another strategy is to notice things in nature using your senses. Like really smell a scented flower or an orange. Really look up into the night sky and notice the brightness in the stars. Really notice the feel of the soft fur on your kitty cat Buddy etc

I know you didn't ask for advice or suggestions, so I hope it is OK to share with you what works for me in regards to helping get out of that sort of negative mind set  and to see the good or something. Maybe you could give it a go, if you haven't already. 

And does Buddy like pats from strangers? My cat did, she would just smooch into any person that would bend down to give her a pat. I read that Buddy was racing around the house, they are funny when they do that, aren't they? It is heaps cute....

Like you hoped everyone would be able to smile tomorrow in the CAFE. May you too Narelle.

Love

Shell xx

[Emmy.]

You're such a sweetie Shell.

Narelle you've got some beautiful messages on your thread from Shell 🙂 I really like her suggestion about keeping a journal. I've just started one myself, two days ago. I list what I was able to achieve that day (no matter how small) and 3 things I'm thankful for. (Like the thread in the BB forum - it's nice to have your own record that you can look back on though I feel). I also have a small magnetic whiteboard with magnets of the small daily activities that I have to do but struggle with some days like "brush hair" "take shower". I feel like I've accomplished something each time I move one of those magnets. It may seem childish or silly but it helps me and was something my psychologist suggested. And also like Shell said I know you've not asked for advice but wanted to share what helps me too. And my mantra is what my doctor tells me to do "take each day one hour at a time". Don't think ahead just focus on that hour.

I hope you and buddy have a lovely day. Thinking of you. Emmy xx

[Emmy.]

And with what happened at Motley Crue I agree with Shell you don't need people in your life like that.

I remember that you live in Adelaide. So lucky I travelled there about 2 years ago (road trip from NSW with hubby, Dad and dog). We stayed in Sterling (not sure of spelling). But I loved Adelaide. My favourite capital city by far. Rundall Mall (again sorry if spelling is wrong). And HAIGHS CHOCOLATE FACTORY. My fav chocolates. The speckles. Sometimes I treat myself and order some online hehe sorry I'm rambling .... Xx

[Music_Freak]

Thank you Emmy and She'll for the replies and strategies, I will look into keeping a journal, I guess I could do it on my phone so no one would see and I wouldn't need a pen and paper etc.

I'm having a quiet day and not trying to think about driving and picking up protective clothing tomorrow. I have to tell my admin voluntary work I'm not coming in too... anxious all round.

I've got a yuck week coming up this week and I'm wondering if I'll cope with it

Buddy is under the bed covers curled up against my leg, his fur is soft and cool. I wonder if he'll snore soon 🙂

[Emmy.]

Morning Narelle. Just seeing how you're going this morning 🙂 Thinking of you. Xx

[Music_Freak]

Morning Emmy

I didn't sleep great and have been awake since 4am...probably best I'm not driving.

I need to go to the bank so it's actually a blessing in disguise that I'm catching buses (my bank is in the city...just no to driving)

Just have to get through today, then I can sort my head out for Thursday, hopefully.

I have to take Buddy to the vet on Friday for his annual vaccinations, so I'll be walking there, since Buddy is terrified of the car. I hate seeing him stressed, so will do anything to minimise it. It's meant to be raining then, so could be interesting

I'm praying that I feel better by the weekend...

[Emmy.]

Sorry to hear you didn't sleep well. I'm so glad you're catching the bus today. Just take today slow, you'll be tired and perhaps more anxious (I know I am when I'm tired). Try some grounding techniques if the anxiety gets too much. "what can I see?", "what can I hear?" Or focus on your breathing. Hope you don't mind me making these suggestions.

Good idea just focusing on getting through today 🙂

Sending you strength for today. Emmy xx