Lost hope and need a friend

[Music_Freak]

I'm a girl...Narelle, 36, from Adelaide, single, unemployed, cat mum...um, what else...I probably shouldn't reveal so much, but may as well be honest, right?

I have both anxiety and depression, and am a pessimist. I have lost all my "friends" because of this and feel worthless and like giving up. I have a GP and a psychologist, but I'm not even sure the therapy (I've been going for a few years now) is working for me.

I have two favourite bands (Sixx:A.M. and Halestorm. True Violet is another on the top of my list right now) and I write band fan fiction. In the past I have depended on these two things to help me through life, but now that they're not really working, I decided to try here.

I just hope to have people to talk to, and maybe make some friends.

[Emmy.]

Narelle you've got a friend in me (and lots more people here on this forum).

Could I suggest that you contact Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 and talk to someone about how you're feeling.

I lost my Mum about 2 years ago so I understand the pain and struggle. Perhaps you could tell me a little about her (if you'd like to talk about her).

Please know I am here for you. Emmy xx

[Music_Freak]

I know there's people here, and thank you. I just wish it wasn't so anonymous in a way. But I'm glad I came here.

I might call that number tomorrow when I get home, I'll see how I feel. I know that nights are the worst for me, but thank you for letting me rant like an idiot here.

I'm just cuddling my cat and trying to not think about how much of a failure and doormat I am.

I can't believe my cat is all I have...

[Emmy.]

Yeah I wish the same sometimes too but I understand why it has to be this way.

I hate nights too. I have to try really hard to distract myself so as to not have panic attacks and have the darkness take over.

This thread is all yours so rant away and you're not an idiot at all It's important to talk about how you're feeling. And you will get so much support here.

Pets are amazing aren't they. And remember you have all of us.... Xx

[Guest_1055]

Evening Narelle,

I am sorry you are going through this. You are not an idiot either, no way. I wish I could remove all the sadness and stuff for you and throw it far deep into the ocean. I am so glad you have cuddly Buddy to hug.

Shell xx​

[Music_Freak]

Thank you for replying. The thought that virtual strangers would take time out to talk to me is lovely.

Had another bad day today. I posted about it in the employment thread, but it was bad, I had to take a sleeping tablet to calm myself

[themadchatter]

What was bad about your day Narelle?

[Music_Freak]

I posted the longer version in the employment & workplaces section (work for the dole), but basically a job network appointment and their crazy rules sent me into an a anxious mess. It was horrible!!

I spent the entire appointment trembling and even snuggling with my cat when I got home didn't help as quickly as it normally does.

I'm so glad its over until next week! Lord knows what will happen then...

[Guest_1055]

Hey Narelle

I am sorry you have had a couple of bad days. I am not sure if you like hugs, but if you do, will you please accept mine?

And that would have been awful and scary, I am guessing in the job network place. Do you use any strategies to help with the anxiety, like deep breathing? I know you don't know me Narelle, but I would have come in with you to that place.

Can your GP help in anyway with all this trying to get a job stuff. I wonder if there is another organisation that has been set up to assist people with anxiety and depression to get jobs etc, because so many people are living with anxiety and depression and need to provide for themselves. Did you think it would be a good idea to ring the BB number, because maybe they might know of such an organisation?

Anyway what have you been up to today? Did you take Buddy out for a walk on his lead? It has been warmer, so probably a good day for it. I have just been researching how to play a ukulele, I was given some birthday money. So I was thinking of buying one. I don't know a lot about them as yet, so I will probably just look out for one that doesn't cost too much.

I know you like music, so do you play any instruments or sing.

I do hope you start to feel better soon.

Bye for now

Shell xx

[Music_Freak]

Virtual hugs are all I get, so I'll take it 🙂

I have tried different job network places like you mentioned and they were OK, although I only got about 3 months work in years of being with them.

I think all my GP can only give me certificates and it's up to Centrelink to except them (unlikely since I've been on them since January).

I have taken Buddy out, twice actually, and started my car for a little while and Buddy walked around it twice (he's terrified of running cars), so I was proud of him 🙂

No I don't play a musical instruments and only sing when nobody is around. Music is listening/watching for me, I'm not talented.

[Guest_1055]

Ah three cheers for Buddy! ......He is pretty courageous then. So you are living in Adelaide, I am in NSW, about 2 1/2 hours north of Sydney. I have been to Adelaide once, all I remember is visiting a "cricket muesum". I don't like sport at all, but the person I was with is a huge cricket fan. Do you know of that Museum at all?

Here is a huge hug then for you [[ Narelle]]