Looking for some help

[katie0623]

I am new to these forums so hello!

I've suffered from anxiety as long as I can remember which a few months ago caused me some depression which I think I am over now. I am on medication and have been to a psychologist which didn't help. I find myself going over the same worries all the time and it's really starting to get to me. I am definitely and extravert and a perfectionist and at the moment I just feel so lonely and friendless despite being told I have lots of friends. I also feel like a big failure and like I'm not doing anything with my life despite going to university. There is so much I want to do and be but I'm just too scared. I really want to travel but can't really find a friend to go with which makes me feel friendless. I want to start hobbies but I'm really scared of being the outsider. I work nights so in the day I'm all by myself. I used to be so happy and excited about the future and everything really, more and more I am not liking my life and who I am because of my worries and anxiety. Any help would be greatly appreciated. thanks

[Frantic1]

Katie I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I feel like my life is on hold because of this anxiety. I am afraid of everything. I know it would be a bit scary but have you considered a contiki tour? I find that when I have too much time to think that is when my anxiety is at its worst. Try challenging some of those negative thoughts about being friendless. This illness causes us to feel so alone we do feel friendless at times because only another sufferer really understands what we go through. I hope things get better for you.

[JessF]

Hello katie, there's quite a bit to unpack in your post. I think the key words that stand out to me are 'perfectionist' and 'same worries'. It feels like you are stuck in place, with goals you want to achieve, with the anxiety throwing up roadblocks and reasons why you can't move towards those things. The perfectionist part of you will be adding to this, because it will be telling you that things 'should' be a certain way, they have to be perfect or you can't do them at all.

For example, you want to travel, but it can't happen because you don't have a friend to go with. You have hobbies you want to pursue, but it can't happen because you might be an outsider (what does this mean?).

I think the key for you might be in getting to a place of acceptance that life isn't perfect. Instead of thinking to 'ready, aim, fire' when you want to do something, flip it around, and think 'fire, aim, ready'. Fire, you make a move and get started. Aim, you adjust on the way as you learn. And after a while you will be ready, but you will have the bonus of having already started which will give you confidence and get you motivated.