Anxiety and nausea caused by attraction to a person

[Sarah_the_Sardine]

Hello everybody.

I wasn't sure where to put this exactly because there are a few forums to choose from but i guess i'm doing it here now. I am a fifteen year old girl and until a couple of months ago i had never really had anxiety. I had some issues with socialising that would really upset me from time to time but nothing as intense as this.

But to explain, 2 months ago i began having intense anxiety mainly triggered by my feelings for a close friend of mine. I had had feelings for this friend for around a two years by this point. There was no warning. She (yes she's a girl -my family is accepting of same-sex relationships) had done nothing wrong. One day I just woke up and the thought of her made me extremely panicked and for the first week that i developed this, i had to stay home from school. This was because I would throw up every meal quite violently, even to the point of throwing up blood. After a while i was able to gain some control over it, however it still causes me to avoid my friend. If she touches me at all i feel anxious. If she says or does anything that can be perceived as intimate I feel anxious. The thought of having a conversation with her makes me anxious.

What more, its starting to bleed into other areas of my life. I'm beginning to become anxious about things that would never usually worry me. For example, this last school term was a little difficult for me, because i started getting nauseous at the thought of standing in front of the class or putting my hand up even though that has never concerned me to this extent before. Some days i didn't even want to go to school because i would wake up with intense anxiety. I don't completely know why this started. Honestly, I'm frustrated at myself for being so irrational. I'm around this person for a lot of my time at school and I desperately want to stay friends with her, and if possible get closer to her romantically. But this anxiety is making me feel really awkward and afraid of her as well as my feelings.

I'm not sure how to cope with this and still maintain my friendship. Any ideas would be appreciated.

[BballJ]

Hi Sarah the Sardine,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Anxiety is one of those things that just appears sometimes out of no where and the onset of it can be quite confronting and I have found literally anything can trigger it, something as simple as developing feelings for someone else, I like to think it is your mind's way of trying to sort through all the emotions running through your head but having trouble with it. Have you spoken to your parents about how you are feeling at all? One thing I would suggest is maybe going with them to your local doctor and speaking to your GP about possibly seeing a psychologist so you can speak with them about all these feelings, having had anxiety myself for around 10 + years, after I started seeing a psychologist did I start to understand it and learn how to cope with it.

An alternative would be to maybe speak to a school counsellor if you have one?

My best for you,

Jay

[Sarah_the_Sardine]

Thanks for replying.

Yes my parents know about this. They kind of had to considering I was throwing up so much with seemingly no reason during the beginning.

I have had one visit to my school's Guidance Counsellor and found it a small bit helpful. She recommended breathing and counting exercises as well as a few other things. But the problem with School Counselling of course is that I can only get advice at school during lesson times, which can be inconvenient. As my education gets more and more difficult this could become somewhat of a burden, and if there's ever a reason I cant go to school, or cant go to the session I cant get the advice I need.

Perhaps I'll think about going to a psychologist. I just keep thinking that its irrational and stupid so it isn't worth getting professional help over. I keep telling myself it will just go away if i wait long enough. Moreover, my parents (though they mean well) tend to avoid seeking help thinking its just one of those teen phases and I'll just grow out of it. But I could convince them if I pestered them enough.

[White_Rose]

Dear Sarah

Welcome to the forum. You can talk about the difficulties you are having knowing it's a safe place.

You may wish to have your post moved to the Sexuality and gender identity forum as this is read by people who know more about the difficulties you are experiencing. I understand you wrote in the Anxiety forum as it seemed the appropriate place to go. However I think your post is more about sexuality and gender identity.

It's not mandatory to move your thread, leave it where you are comfortable. As I said the advantage of moving will get you more 'air time' and more knowledgable responses. Oops, no offence to those who have replied.

Having a chat to your GP in the first instance is a good start. If you would like to talk to a psychologist then ask your GP for a referral to a psych who specialises in gender identification. That way you will have someone who knows what is happening in your life and you can probably relate more easily to this person.

Cheers

Mary

[BballJ]

Hi Sarah the Sardine,

I understand what you're saying, the school guidance counsellor was a great first step for you to take. I don't think there is such thing as a small or big problem, they are count the same way and professionals hear and see many things. I was the same as you, I thought how I felt was nothing and it would go away, it doesn't work that way. If you can somehow get on top of it now then that would be a great thing.

My best,

Jay