Hi Chanel,
Welcome to the forum!
I'm sorry to hear about your stressful situation. I too study psychology, though I don't currently work and still live with my parents. Studying and working two jobs must take up a lot of your time. Do you feel overloaded? Like Molly said, is there a way to enquire about alternatives to your massage parlour job? Perhaps you could work in a beauty salon or ask your family for some financial assistance while you search for a new job. Your massage role is making you feel upset, stressed and ashamed, and no one deserves to feel this way. As you don't do anything sexual, you have not done anything unsavoury or wrong, but I can understand why you still feel uncomfortable. I am fairly conservative for my age (I'm 23), and I would also feel uncomfortable in this role.
While you may be concerned about his reaction, I think it's important for you to tell your partner about the job, and how it stresses you out. He sounds caring, so when he sees how upset it makes you, it is unlikely he will feel anger. He could be frustrated that you hadn't told him sooner, but that feeling will pass. Being honest is liberating, and I find that disclosing things to loved ones makes me feel less alone and also calmer. I tell my boyfriend everything, and I personally feel that this brings us closer and enhances our sense of trust and solidarity. It's easier said than done, but it's worth building up the courage to speak the truth and explain how you feel.
If you don't mind me asking, have you ever been diagnosed with or had symptoms of a mental health condition? The insomnia, night sweats and sick feeling could be purely manifestations of the guilt and extreme discomfort you feel about this job. However, seeing a doctor (GP) and talking to them about your symptoms and situation is crucial, as your mental health needs must be met.
I really hope you are able to tell your partner what's worrying you, and speak to your GP.
Best wishes,
SM
